I know I told you guys when I joined that I used to be a liberal but had changed to being a Republican in 1992, but I LIED! I never changed. I can't believe you guys actually bought it. So, I am now going to tell the truth and give good reasons why Bush must be defeated: _________________________________________ First off, George W. Bush is a baby eater! Don't ya get it? HE EATS BABIES! Then, the list just keeps going....... He stole the Florida election by paying off the Supreme Court. Bush took us to war with Iraq for oil, man! There is mounting evidence that Bush planned to go into Iraq as far back as 1976. According to my source in the Kerry campaign[Janeane Garofalo] it has been proven that over 15 million innocent Iraqis have been targeted & murdered by our psychotic, kill-happy, baby-killing troops. Ummmmm, but we liberals support our troops. I mean, they only killed the babies. At least they didn't EAT them....LIKE BUSH DOES! By Bush taking us into an illegal war, alone- Great Britain, Italy, Spain, Poland, and others don't count since they got bribed to cooperate- we have lost our good standing with our former strong, morally-pure allies like France, Germany, Russia, and the United Nations. I mean, I admit Saddam was not a great guy- unlike Castro- but all we did was hurt more Iraqis by going into Iraq, killing 8 million innocent Iraqis. Bush took us into Iraq before even going into Afghanistan to get the Taliban. If we had not attacked Iraq, I know some of my liberal friends doubt 9/11 would have ever happened. If we tried harder to understand why we have neglected the needs & hurt the feelings of bin Laden & Al Qaeda, I doubt that they would hate us so much- all we're going to do is make them angrier! Actually, I tell my fellow liberals that I know the real deal: Bush knew about 9/11 months ahead of time. There is mounting evidence that Bush helped finance & plan 9/11 with bin Laden. In fact, I heard from one of my friends at MoveOn.org that Bush & bin Laden jointly own several Taco Bells in the NYC area. Don't you Republican Nazis find it strange that, with all the destruction in Manhattan, not one single Taco Bell was damaged on 9/11? Want more proof? Bush wasn't in the White House. Want more? I have actually seen a photo of bin Laden & Bush hangin' out at a Wu-tang Clan concert. Yeah, how you like me now? Also, Bush is a baby eater! (Takes a hit from his Ben & Jerry's-stickered bong) Yeah, man, like, ugh, I was saying. I saw a clip today of Bush drinking a glass of ice water. This just proves what a bastard he is. Doesn't he know that some poor people- like Al Qaeda freedom fighters- don't have ice machines? This just proves how out-of-touch he is. I bet he felt so superior to everyone when he was chompin' on that ice, not to mention baby parts. Yeah, I like, man, how he praised that Passion of the Mel movie. He just wants to shove his god down our throats at every chance. Also, we know who killed Jesus: BUSH! Plus, he feels like it is cool to start a new Crusade against ALL muslims. I guess killing 20 million innocent Iraqis & freedom fighters isn't enough for this monster. Why does he feel he has the right to force democracy, freedom, & justice onto other people? Man, he is SOOOO dangerous. (Takes ANOTHER toke off the bong) Man.......Man......Ummmmmm. yeah I feel that Bush is someone who really hates and stuff and is like some cowboy who likes to kill not caring about anyone to help because he is mean and he isout to kill civilliberties andmake all of us slaves to hes warr macheene and kill lots of peple so he can eat there babies no matr wat we want from him.....and stuff. Dudes, I need to go eat my pizza. BRB Ok, I'm back. Ya know what? Ani DiFranco & Paula Cole are so hot. I would love to get up in that action and just lick their sweaty, clumpy, chili-smelling hairy pits. Then I would.......Oh, wait! That isn't very p.c. & I want to be a guy in touch with the woman in him. As roundly-praised feminist Catharine MacKinnon said, ALL SEX IS RAPE. What I meant was that I would love for them & their hairy, stinky bodies to strap on dildos & violate me up my booty. Only this way will I- being an evil male- be able to empathize with the rape, abuse, & torture we men have heaped upon all women. Damn, I guess that threesome with Hillary & Janet Reno is out the window. Anyhow, Bush lied about WMD's. Yeah, I know you guys will say, "What about the weapons we KNEW he had but couldn't/wouldn't show any evidence concerning how he destroyed them, when he destroyed them, or where he destroyed them." Also, you Nazis will bring up the fact that the entire world intelligence community was convinced that he had them. Well, get ready to lose this debate because I am about to win it. Ready?....... There is mounting evidence that Bush distracted us with fake WMD's so nobody would notice him eating all of those babies. Now, if he had just killed & eaten the babies while they were still fetuses-even at 9 months- I would be very cool with his "choice." But he ate them when they had a chance to vote several times for us Dems in Chicago. (Takes a really big bong hit) Man the ekonimy iss doin real bad for bush. great for us. We liberalz took a hit in march because of all thoze dam jobs being...being....invented but at least iraq is going real good for us liberals. If Bush's econommy will just lose a million jobs the next few months and 500 soldiers get killed we will be jumpin for joy and bush will loze in december....ummm....octo.....later this yeer. Its not that we hate america.,,',its just that we hatee the milatary, the flag, capitolizm, religon, morals, freedom,,justise, and the killing of innocent freedom fighterz. Bush and ashcroft are trying to make us a police stat. There is mounting evidence that Bush & Ashcroft are having camps built for anyone who doesn't work for Halliburton. Dudes! there is a black helicopter above my nature tent. Gotta go! Remember........ Bush is a racist warmonger who eats babies!! Bush & Rumsfeld are war criminals! Rice & Powell are sell-out house slaves! Give peace a chance! Make love, not war! America sucks! Who spilled the bong water! No blood for oil! A vote for Bush is a vote for baby eating & killing freedom fighters! VOTE KERRY!