Is Beauty a Blessing or a Curse?

[PoliticalChic]

A little bit of jealousy can liven up a marriage. You get to see that your mate can still turn a head. That's appealing. Especially, when there is trust.

I think having a professional relationship with a colleague is different than a personal friendship. There can be a distance. I don't have a lot of will power when it comes to the heart, so I can only speak for myself.

 

[dilloduck]

I think having a professional relationship with a colleague is different than a personal friendship. There can be a distance. I don't have a lot of will power when it comes to the heart, so I can only speak for myself.

I'm not convinced that absolute monogomy is the ultimate condition that humans are "built" for.

 

[sky dancer]

I think having a professional relationship with a colleague is different than a personal friendship. There can be a distance. I don't have a lot of will power when it comes to the heart, so I can only speak for myself.

OK. That clarifies your position a bit more. You don't trust yourself to have feelings and not act on them.

I've had the experience of having feelings for someone and not acting on them because I knew he was married.

 

[PoliticalChic]

I'm not convinced that absolute monogomy is the ultimate condition that humans are "built" for.

You're right on this. I don't like to tempt fate.

As a joke, I suggested to my husband that we should post our profiles on eHarmony and see who came up. He immediately said this was a bad idea and he was right.

Sometimes we want to flex our muscles, but this can be dangerous.

 

[sky dancer]

I'm not convinced that absolute monogomy is the ultimate condition that humans are "built" for.

There are variations for sure. Some humans are 'built' for monogamy. Some are not--and that's true for women and men.

If you want to be in an monogamous relationship you have to find a mate that is 'built' for it, so to speak.

Even in those relationships, there is temptation. Stuff happens.

 

[dilloduck]

There are variations for sure. Some humans are 'built' for monogamy. Some are not--and that's true for women and men.

If you want to be in an monogamous relationship you have to find a mate that is 'built' for it, so to speak.

Even in those relationships, there is temptation. Stuff happens.

Yup----and man do we exact a HIGH price for the betrayal when that stuff happens.

 

[editec]

You are judged on whether your words are ugly or beautiful, thoughtful and intelligent or knee jerk and stupid.

You're judged on what posters imagine you look like.

That is true, of course.

But if you're off the bell curve in looks (doesn't matter what curve, or even what side of the curve, just s long as you're off it) then what you say is often missed or misconstrued in real life.

"Why was I not make of stone like thee?"

Quasimodo
(weaping to a groteque at Notre Dame Cathedral)​

 

[roomy]

That is true, of course.

But if you're off the bell curve in looks (doesn't matter what curve, or even what side of the curve, just s long as you're off it) then what you say is often missed or misconstrued in real life.

Quasimodo
(weaping to a groteque at Notre Dame Cathedral)​

I am hardly a classic beauty and what I say is often misconstrued, confidence is everything, beauty is a made up thing.

 

[sky dancer]

That is true, of course.

But if you're off the bell curve in looks (doesn't matter what curve, or even what side of the curve, just s long as you're off it) then what you say is often missed or misconstrued in real life.

Quasimodo
(weaping to a groteque at Notre Dame Cathedral)​

Plenty of things throw off the bell curve in terms of having your speech miscontrued... Age. Body weight. Wearing glasses or not. Disabilities.

 

[GigiBowman]

No matter how beautiful a woman is, she never truly believes it. That's the hard part about being pretty....everyone around you knows you are, but you don't.

I've met very few people in my life who knew they were good looking/pretty. They were always men.

 

[PoliticalChic]

No matter how beautiful a woman is, she never truly believes it. That's the hard part about being pretty....everyone around you knows you are, but you don't.

I've met very few people in my life who knew they were good looking/pretty. They were always men.

I would much prefer it if a woman's identity had more to do with her accomplishments rather than her beauty. I find that it's those women who find themselves less than perfect in their outer beauty who strive harder and are more motivated. As though they had something to prove.

 

[chloe]

It also depends on what kind of personality you have. I find women, generally, to be petty and insanely jealous. One of my friendships ended because of the jealousy. She even admitted that she had this flaw, but I didn't believe her until it was too late. I think most women want to have friends that make them look good, but once someone else gets the spotlight, they are not interested in the friendship. So if you want to have lots of friends, beauty can be a curse.

I've always been closer to women, I like them better, I trust them more to confide in. For some reason when I have tried to be friends with men inevitably they get on my nerves, and a part of me never fully trusts them.