Credit to Robin Williams for this routine. The Invention of Golf Two drunk Scots are sitting around in a field, trying to find something to do for fun. Scot1: I've got an idea for a game. Ya hit a ball into a gopher hole with a stick. Scot2: So it's like pool? Scot1: **** pool! You don't get a straight stick. You get a messed up looking crooked stick to hit it with. Scot2: So it's like croquet? Scot1: **** croquet! I'll put the hole HUNDREDS OF YARD AWAY! Scot2: So it's a little like bowling? Scot1: **** bowling! I'll put stuff in the way...like trees and bushes and high grass, so you lose your ball and you have to go whackin' away through the bushes until you have a stroke. A STROKE! That's what we'll call it, 'cause every time you miss you feel like you're gonna die. Then, at the end, I'll put this little flat piece of land with a flag in the middle to give 'em hope. Then I'll surround it with a pool and some sandboxes to mess with their ball again! Scot2: And you do this one time? Scot1: **** no! EIGHTEEN TIMES!!! The retelling is much better with a good Scottish accent.