I'm new here

[justmom]

So, as I said, I'm new to this board, and looking for someplace to vent. I am now taking care of my parents (my kids are grown) and have some issues. New issues, nearly daily. My Dad is 80, Mother is 73. Dad has congestive heart failure, chronic kidney disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and he smokes. Mother has borderline high blood pressure (we tried medication, but she couldn't tolerate the side effects), the beginning stages of osteoporosis, and the beginning stages of osteoarthritis.

Mother is a chronic liar. And if she can't get away with an out-right lie, she'll exaggerate. She doesn't care who she lies about. The psychology is, if she makes someone else look bad, she looks better by comparison. What gets me is that no one but me seems to have figured this out. She lies about me to my sisters and my Dad about things that make me look bad AND THEY BELIEVE WHAT SHE TELLS THEM! WITHOUT QUESTION!

Not looking for any advice here, as I said, I just need to vent.

 

[masquerade]

Hey justmom ... welcome to USMB. In my opinion, one of the best on the web.

I'm sorry to hear you have your hands full with your aging parents. Strange how life goes. They take care of us as we grow and then we end up taking care of them as they get older.

Do your parents live with you? If so, do you have or can you acquire VNA services? What about assisted living?

As far as venting goes, this is a great place for it. But ... have you considered regular visits with a social worker or therapist to help you through this time in your life? There was a thread started here a few months back, about whether or not those who are depressed turn to the internet, or is it the internet that causes depression. I'm not saying you are depressed, but by what you say, you've got a LOT going on.

I wish you well justmom.
Again ... welcome.

 

[CMike]

So, as I said, I'm new to this board, and looking for someplace to vent. I am now taking care of my parents (my kids are grown) and have some issues. New issues, nearly daily. My Dad is 80, Mother is 73. Dad has congestive heart failure, chronic kidney disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and he smokes. Mother has borderline high blood pressure (we tried medication, but she couldn't tolerate the side effects), the beginning stages of osteoporosis, and the beginning stages of osteoarthritis.

Mother is a chronic liar. And if she can't get away with an out-right lie, she'll exaggerate. She doesn't care who she lies about. The psychology is, if she makes someone else look bad, she looks better by comparison. What gets me is that no one but me seems to have figured this out. She lies about me to my sisters and my Dad about things that make me look bad AND THEY BELIEVE WHAT SHE TELLS THEM! WITHOUT QUESTION!

Not looking for any advice here, as I said, I just need to vent.

I'm sorry about your troubles.

If it makes you feel any better, one thing I have noticed is that all families have issues.

 

[HUGGY]

So, as I said, I'm new to this board, and looking for someplace to vent. I am now taking care of my parents (my kids are grown) and have some issues. New issues, nearly daily. My Dad is 80, Mother is 73. Dad has congestive heart failure, chronic kidney disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and he smokes. Mother has borderline high blood pressure (we tried medication, but she couldn't tolerate the side effects), the beginning stages of osteoporosis, and the beginning stages of osteoarthritis.

Mother is a chronic liar. And if she can't get away with an out-right lie, she'll exaggerate. She doesn't care who she lies about. The psychology is, if she makes someone else look bad, she looks better by comparison. What gets me is that no one but me seems to have figured this out. She lies about me to my sisters and my Dad about things that make me look bad AND THEY BELIEVE WHAT SHE TELLS THEM! WITHOUT QUESTION!

Not looking for any advice here, as I said, I just need to vent.

I don't know how well you will do here except there is no rule against swearing..which it sounds like you need to do to get the emotions out ...

Your mom on the other hand should do well. This place is chock full of liars.All of the stinking neo con christian fascists anyway.

PS don't bring your family into a conversation on this board or you will not be able to protect them under the rules. You cannot say anything about a members family unless they bring that family member into a thread..

 

[AllieBaba]

Do what I do when my mom gets unruly...

Threaten to put her into a home!

 

[Gatekeeper]

2 USMB

Hope it all works out for you your mom and dad.

And your mom, bless her heart, would make a great politician.

 

[Angelhair]

Justmom, all I can tell you is that one of these days both of them will be gone and none of this will matter. You will probably only remember the good things about them. Such is the nature of the beast.

 

[Titanic Sailor]

Hi Ma,
Just watch out for Huggy. That low life sounds just like your mother. Your mother has psychological issues, and deserves patience and control. On your best days you'll deal with it. My guess is the days it really bothers you are when you are exhausted, so rest up.

Huggy is just a classless ass hole ravaged by drugs and alcohol, and he'll call you a racist when he can't keep up with the conversation. You can ignore him.

 

[xsited1]

So, as I said, I'm new to this board, and looking for someplace to vent. I am now taking care of my parents (my kids are grown) and have some issues. New issues, nearly daily. My Dad is 80, Mother is 73. Dad has congestive heart failure, chronic kidney disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and he smokes. Mother has borderline high blood pressure (we tried medication, but she couldn't tolerate the side effects), the beginning stages of osteoporosis, and the beginning stages of osteoarthritis.

Mother is a chronic liar. And if she can't get away with an out-right lie, she'll exaggerate. She doesn't care who she lies about. The psychology is, if she makes someone else look bad, she looks better by comparison. What gets me is that no one but me seems to have figured this out. She lies about me to my sisters and my Dad about things that make me look bad AND THEY BELIEVE WHAT SHE TELLS THEM! WITHOUT QUESTION!

Not looking for any advice here, as I said, I just need to vent.

Have you tried giving your mom a 1-way ticket to Russia?

 

[JenyEliza]

So, as I said, I'm new to this board, and looking for someplace to vent. I am now taking care of my parents (my kids are grown) and have some issues. New issues, nearly daily. My Dad is 80, Mother is 73. Dad has congestive heart failure, chronic kidney disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and he smokes. Mother has borderline high blood pressure (we tried medication, but she couldn't tolerate the side effects), the beginning stages of osteoporosis, and the beginning stages of osteoarthritis.

Mother is a chronic liar. And if she can't get away with an out-right lie, she'll exaggerate. She doesn't care who she lies about. The psychology is, if she makes someone else look bad, she looks better by comparison. What gets me is that no one but me seems to have figured this out. She lies about me to my sisters and my Dad about things that make me look bad AND THEY BELIEVE WHAT SHE TELLS THEM! WITHOUT QUESTION!

Not looking for any advice here, as I said, I just need to vent.

I know the woman you describe. Except she's a little younger. No advice for you, but welcome to the boards.

 

[Big Black Dog]

My wife and I took care of her aging and dying parents about 7 years ago. We had very little help from her older brother and younger sister and the task fell on both of our shoulders alone. I'm glad we took care of them the last year of their lives. We had no guilt issues like the wife's siblings did after their deaths. I think what you are doing is a noble and very self-less thing and I applaude you for it. I know from personal experience what it's like to put your life on hold for a year to help others. I wish you well and offer you a tip of my hat.

 

[Granny]

I can appreciate your situation. Being a caretaker is a tough, tough job when it's 24/7. Have your siblings offered to come in and take care of their parents? If not, give them a little vent - presumably you all were raised alike and they should take on some of this responsibility themselves. Are your parents (I assume they at least get Social Security) or you able to afford someone to come in for a couple days a week. You should be able to find someone who could come into your home a couple days a week to give you a much needed rest. You'll be amazed at how just a little time for yourself will give you a whole lot of rest/restoration of your situation.

I would agree that checking around for assistance is in good order. Try the SSA to see if there is any covered care for your parents, check with your state or county ElderCare program to see what's available in the way of help. I hope you will be able to find a solution to your situation

 

[uscitizen]

So, as I said, I'm new to this board, and looking for someplace to vent. I am now taking care of my parents (my kids are grown) and have some issues. New issues, nearly daily. My Dad is 80, Mother is 73. Dad has congestive heart failure, chronic kidney disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and he smokes. Mother has borderline high blood pressure (we tried medication, but she couldn't tolerate the side effects), the beginning stages of osteoporosis, and the beginning stages of osteoarthritis.

Mother is a chronic liar. And if she can't get away with an out-right lie, she'll exaggerate. She doesn't care who she lies about. The psychology is, if she makes someone else look bad, she looks better by comparison. What gets me is that no one but me seems to have figured this out. She lies about me to my sisters and my Dad about things that make me look bad AND THEY BELIEVE WHAT SHE TELLS THEM! WITHOUT QUESTION!

Not looking for any advice here, as I said, I just need to vent.

Welcome, We have lots of venting here. And a couple even offer good advice from time to time.

Also at this time in life when many of us are dealing with elderly and oft cantankerous parents the kids and grandkids are moving back in....

 

[Sofus]

Good to come and vent! Be sure you take time for yourself, get a sitter for the folks and even if you just go sit out in a park, do it!

Parents revert back to being children.

My dad is displaying jealousy that he had locked away since WWII...called my mom a cheese cake one day! We all laughed, but it hurt mom's feelings!

Patience, what a virtue and it truly is one!

 

[HUGGY]

Hi Ma,
Just watch out for Huggy. That low life sounds just like your mother. Your mother has psychological issues, and deserves patience and control. On your best days you'll deal with it. My guess is the days it really bothers you are when you are exhausted, so rest up.

Huggy is just a classless ass hole ravaged by drugs and alcohol, and he'll call you a racist when he can't keep up with the conversation. You can ignore him.

You can ignore anyone on this MB. There is an "ignore" feature . Why someone would want to go to the trouble of getting involved in a MB and ignore the users is mysifying to me. I believe TS is a racist. That attitude does not bleed over onto my assessment of others .

Sorry TS ..I have much in comon with " mom "...I took acouple of years off and cared for a favorite great aunt till she died...something you wouldn't have a clue why.

 

[ABikerSailor]

So, as I said, I'm new to this board, and looking for someplace to vent. I am now taking care of my parents (my kids are grown) and have some issues. New issues, nearly daily. My Dad is 80, Mother is 73. Dad has congestive heart failure, chronic kidney disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and he smokes. Mother has borderline high blood pressure (we tried medication, but she couldn't tolerate the side effects), the beginning stages of osteoporosis, and the beginning stages of osteoarthritis.

Mother is a chronic liar. And if she can't get away with an out-right lie, she'll exaggerate. She doesn't care who she lies about. The psychology is, if she makes someone else look bad, she looks better by comparison. What gets me is that no one but me seems to have figured this out. She lies about me to my sisters and my Dad about things that make me look bad AND THEY BELIEVE WHAT SHE TELLS THEM! WITHOUT QUESTION!

Not looking for any advice here, as I said, I just need to vent.

Welcome to the boards. If you post something here that you saw, then post a link to it and you should do well.

If you post links from a conservative website, the liberals will call you a liar.

If you post links from a liberal website, the conservatives will call you a liar.

By the way, as far as your mother and her exaggeration? You'll find a lot of people on here like that, you'll know them by their posts

Or, just check Huggy's list.

Gonna be interesting to see you meet California Girl.

 

[007]

Sounds like you need to have a talk with your brothers and sisters and compare notes, if they believe your mothers lies without question. That sounds like your biggest problem.

 

[Titanic Sailor]

Yup, everyone who opposes Obama and Democrats is a racist to Huggy. Former drug smuggler, and unsubstantiated claims are a fact of life for him. Whacko.

 

[HUGGY]

I know Huggy is a former drug smuggler, and I believe he is a homosexual pedophile. Look at his pic. No parent would allow their children near that homeless freak.

The Titanic sinks into total melt down!

My job is done.

 

[ABikerSailor]

I know Huggy is a former drug smuggler, and I believe he is a homosexual pedophile. Look at his pic. No parent would allow their children near that homeless freak.

The Titanic sinks into total melt down!

My job is done.

Tinhat Failure 0

Huggy 1