I'm A Boy-Girl

[Tank]

'I'm a boy-girl,' says 8-year-old
May 16, 2009

Now that Ben has had his final day at a west Omaha Catholic school, he gets to give away the last of his boy clothes — his school uniform — and live full time as the person inside: Katie.

This decision seems like a no-brainer for parents who at first presumed their prancing, pink-loving son who squirreled away cousins’ girl toys was gay. That was before he told them he had a girl heart, a girl soul and was, in fact, a girl.

A defining moment came when it was time for First Communion. Eight-year-old Ben declared he wouldn’t go if he had to wear a suit, and he pined for the white dress that girls wear. But neither his family nor church leaders thought it would be a good idea to introduce Ben as Katie in the Communion line. The church doesn’t want Ben to be Katie at the school at all.

So, after behavioral testing, therapy and a lot of research, the parents have decided to switch their child to a public school and to let their son live as a girl. They asked not to be named out of concern for their child’s safety outside the circle of those who know the family.

They know the path Katie faces is long, difficult and fraught with controversy. Some scientists say the approach they are taking amounts to child abuse. Other scientists say any other response would be abuse.

What might seem like a drastic, life-altering decision for their child is in fact the culmination of years of words and deeds that convinced Katie’s parents, extended family members and therapists of this: She is a girl born into a boy’s body.
Interesting read:
Omaha.com Metro/Region Section

It is clear to me that the majority of homosexuality is biological and not a choice.

 

[jgbkab]

If he was my child, he would have to endure being a boy until he could move on his own. I don't know if homosexuality is a choice or not, but at 8 you have no choices. A lot of children want to be all kinds of things when they're young that they don't grow up to be.

 

[Amanda]

I have a lot of sympathy for people like this kid. I've heard that the best results from SRS are achieved if the patient is younger, so if this is really the best thing hopefully they can get things taken care of sooner than later. It must be difficult to go through life so confused and misunderstood and if science can provide a solution I'm for it. I also have sympathy for the parents, I don't know how I would be able to deal with it if I were in their shoes.

 

[strollingbones]

hmm normally i am pretty liberal on transgender but this is WRONG....(ooo i went big)..first of all little boys...go thru stages....my son carried "susie" a madam alexander doll (wee bit of name dropping and snobbiness) for about a year and half...susie went everywhere he went...public and day care....hell we would introduce susie as part of the damn family....but i never told him he was a girl cause he liked a doll...matter of fact he opted to put susie in a chest...and she is still there and you still best not be making fun of susie or a can of whoop ass is coming your way....

i think it is the job of a parent to re inforce gender roles....i cant believe a father was spineless enough to let this happen...both parents should have thought of this as a stage....and dealt with it lightly....there are very rich and famous male balletrinas and they are not all gay..(stop it little voice damn it, they are not) but the parents have done this child a great and probably life fucking disservice
by re enforcing a simply stage of life...

i still believe homosexuals are hard wired and some parents should be horse whipped

 

[strollingbones]

If he was my child, he would have to endure being a boy until he could move on his own. I don't know if homosexuality is a choice or not, but at 8 you have no choices. A lot of children want to be all kinds of things when they're young that they don't grow up to be.

no shit...my son wanted to be a highway patrolman....sensi...cop....christian....more stages than one can image...

 

[editec]

Come on now...haven't we all known boys (when we were boys) who we knew in our hearts were complete sissies?

Why do we suppose they were?

Do we think they WANTED TO BE MOCKED AND BEATEN UP by the boys in the lives?

I mean seriously...get a clue.

Some people are psychologically NOT the gender they are physically.

They ARE born that way, no less than most of us are born psychologically wedded to the gender that our bodies happen to be.

 

[xotoxi]

These sexual deviants disgust me!

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Utpam0IGYac]YouTube - 20/20 "My Secret Self" Part 1 of 5[/ame]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7S5usRgY720]YouTube - 7yr. old Jazz's thoughts on being a Transgender Child[/ame]

 

[jillian]

If he was my child, he would have to endure being a boy until he could move on his own. I don't know if homosexuality is a choice or not, but at 8 you have no choices. A lot of children want to be all kinds of things when they're young that they don't grow up to be.

actually the people i know who were gay knew they were long before they were eight. it wasn't about choices.... same as you knew when you looked at someone attractive of the opposite sex that they turned you on.

but this child isn't homosexual. he has gender dysphasia which is an entirely different thing. i feel bad for him and his family because it isn't going to be an easy road for them.

 

[xotoxi]

I have a lot of sympathy for people like this kid.

Didn't you mean empathy?

 

[Tech_Esq]

I'm not sure what all they have gone through to make sure this is truly not a phase and it is a case, as Jillian says, of gender dysphasia, but if it were me, this would be the path of last resort. I'm open to it, if that is really what needs to happen. But, this is really sentencing your child to one of the hardest paths I can think of outside poverty.

On the one hand, I'm glad the parents were open to this as an answer and didn't become abusive. On the other hand, I REALLY hope they did their due diligence on this and are going in with open eyes. I have no idea how this kid gets through high school. Hopefully, he'll at least be relatively small. Can you imagine being a 6'3" gawky, lanky cross dresser in high school? Not even talking about the hair issue.

I didn't see anything about doing sex reassignment surgery like Amanda mentioned. That would be another level. I'm not sure I would trust an 8 year old's instincts on that. I'd have to wait a while and see how they live as a girl when puberty kicks in.

 

[catzmeow]

I sincerely hope that we will get less rigid with our ideas of what it means to be a boy or a girl, a man or a woman, at some point in the evolution of our culture. The idea that "girls do this, boys do that" frankly is just stupid. I'm a tomboyish girl, and always have been. Oh, if you met me you wouldn't know, at first, because for work, I like to dress like a girly girl. But, I do all the home repairs on my house myself, I would far rather spend hours staining my deck than cleaning my house, and I work in a male-dominated field.

I think our ideas of sex roles, frankly, are pretty fucking bogus for the most part. And they've definitely made me feel like a freak for a significant part of my life because I liked working, liked working in a rather "masculine" field, and I don't play the helpless damsel in distress very well.

And for my entire life, my parents have been telling me to be more "ladylike."

Screw that noise. I am who I am. People who don't like me, as I am, can fuck off.

 

[Old Rocks]

I sincerely hope that we will get less rigid with our ideas of what it means to be a boy or a girl, a man or a woman, at some point in the evolution of our culture. The idea that "girls do this, boys do that" frankly is just stupid. I'm a tomboyish girl, and always have been. Oh, if you met me you wouldn't know, at first, because for work, I like to dress like a girly girl. But, I do all the home repairs on my house myself, I would far spend hours staining my deck than cleaning my house, and I work in a male-dominated field.

I think our ideas of sex roles, frankly, are pretty fucking bogus for the most part. And they've definitely made me feel like a freak for a significant part of my life because I liked working, liked working in a rather "masculine" field, and I don't play the helpless damsel in distress very well.

And for my entire life, my parents have been telling me to be more "ladylike."

Screw that noise. I am who I am. People who don't like me, as I am, can fuck off.

Good attitude. I grew up, mostly, in the ranching country of Eastern Oregon. Often, when the man was sick or hurt, the wife took over the duties, and did all the work. Many times, the ranch was ran better when the wife was running it. I have always admired the women who could step outside societies ideas about roles, and do whatever was neccessary.

 

[mattskramer]

Wow. Tough call. I’m certainly no psychotherapist. Is the kid going through a phase? Has he met mean boys and nice girls too often? Does he just want to experiment with living as a girl? Does he genuinely believe that he is a girl and will identify himself as a girl throughout his life? If so, will be irrevocably hurt or traumatized if forced to live as a boy until he is an adult?

My uneducated recommendation would be to go ahead and let him live as a girl – short of surgery. Dress as a girl – behave a s a girl – but no snip-snip if you know what I mean.

 

[xotoxi]

Wow. Tough call. I’m certainly no psychotherapist. Is the kid going through a phase? Has he met mean boys and nice girls too often? Does he just want to experiment with living as a girl? Does he genuinely believe that he is a girl and will identify himself as a girl throughout his life? If so, will be irrevocably hurt or traumatized if forced to live as a boy until he is an adult?

My uneducated recommendation would be to go ahead and let him live as a girl – short of surgery. Dress as a girl – behave a s a girl – but no snip-snip if you know what I mean.

I don't think that anyone would perform gender reassignment surgery on anyone less than 18.

Hormone treatments as a teenager might be something to consider in order to minimize masculine traits and maximize female traits. The good thing about this is that it would be relatively reversible.

 

[editec]

I sincerely hope that we will get less rigid with our ideas of what it means to be a boy or a girl, a man or a woman, at some point in the evolution of our culture.

What is acceptable has already changed considerably in my lifetime.

But let's face it, there are generalizations about males and females that are rooted in the truth of the matter, too.

Expecting people to completely pretend that those generalizations aren't real is as absurd as demanding that people who are exceptions to those generalizations change to fit into the mold.

The early more radical feminists attemtpted to foist off lies because they objected to being treated like crap.

But the fact are that there are psycological differences between typical males and typical females, too.

Those differences are NOT (as the early feminists liked to tell us) all a matter of inculturation.

The fact is that most little boys ARE more object oriented and most little girls ARE more socially oriented.

the fact is that most little boys are better at throwing balls than little girls.

We could go on, but you get my point.

Tolerance of people who do not quite fit into our expectations for what a male or female should be like is a good thing.

Denying that there are differences generally between males and females is NOT a good thing.

The idea that "girls do this, boys do that" frankly is just stupid.

No, it's not stupid. It's a valid generalization, but demanding that people fit into a generalized model of male or female is stupid though.

I'm a tomboyish girl, and always have been. Oh, if you met me you wouldn't know, at first, because for work, I like to dress like a girly girl. But, I do all the home repairs on my house myself, I would far spend hours staining my deck than cleaning my house, and I work in a male-dominated field.

All perfect normal even if it is NOT typical of your gender.

I think our ideas of sex roles, frankly, are pretty fucking bogus for the most part.

These sex roles wouldn't have manifested so obviously in EVERY CULTURE if there was NO generalized (but real) difference between the genders.

That doesn't make you a freak, however, because we're not talking about a binary system of male/female traits, but an analogue system of male and female traits.

And they've definitely made me feel like a freak for a significant part of my life because I liked working, liked working in a rather "masculine" field, and I don't play the helpless damsel in distress very well.

That sucks.

And I had to learn to fight like hell because I was a pretty little boy. That definitely sucked, too. I imagine it might have been even worse if I'd been gay and not tempermentally male enough to want to fight back to establish that I wasn't a pansy.

And for my entire life, my parents have been telling me to be more "ladylike."

You're grown up now. Tell your parents to get over it.

Screw that noise. I am who I am. People who don't like me, as I am, can fuck off.

Right on, sister!

And if you knock those annoying jerks down, I'll kick em, for ya, too.

 

[AllieBaba]

I find it nauseating that these sicko parents aren't questioned about their activities at home. It's okay for 8 year olds (with the loving assist of wacked out parents) to declare their sexual orientation as different from what the one they were born with...but we criminalize the parents of 13 year olds who declare they don't want chemo.

 

[Amanda]

Wow. Tough call. I’m certainly no psychotherapist. Is the kid going through a phase? Has he met mean boys and nice girls too often? Does he just want to experiment with living as a girl? Does he genuinely believe that he is a girl and will identify himself as a girl throughout his life? If so, will be irrevocably hurt or traumatized if forced to live as a boy until he is an adult?

My uneducated recommendation would be to go ahead and let him live as a girl – short of surgery. Dress as a girl – behave a s a girl – but no snip-snip if you know what I mean.

I don't think that anyone would perform gender reassignment surgery on anyone less than 18.

Hormone treatments as a teenager might be something to consider in order to minimize masculine traits and maximize female traits. The good thing about this is that it would be relatively reversible.

You'd be wrong.

Kim Petras, 16, may have become the world's youngest transsexual after completing gender reassignment surgery last November

From Tim to Kim: German pop star, 16, becomes world's youngest transsexual after sex change op | Mail Online

And I can't find it but I'm pretty sure I heard of 1 that had it at 13 somewhere in Asia.

You might not be able to get it done in the US, but you did say "anyone".

 

[AllieBaba]

The whole concept of parents telling their 8 year old he has the heart of a girl makes me want to vomit.

Most boys go through a stage where they're fascinated with barbies, if there are Barbies around. Mine is interested in them off and on...he's 5. I'm not even thinking about telling him he has the heart of a girl. He went through a stage where he was interested in trying on his sister's dress-up clothes, including her "fairy" outfit (with wings) and sparkly shoes. I didn't start providing him with tights and tutus....

 

[AllieBaba]

Of course, when my boy puts on the fairy wings everybody runs because really it's just an excuse to thwap people with the wand and kick the shit out of them with the sparkly shoes.

 

[mattskramer]

Wow. Tough call. I’m certainly no psychotherapist. Is the kid going through a phase? Has he met mean boys and nice girls too often? Does he just want to experiment with living as a girl? Does he genuinely believe that he is a girl and will identify himself as a girl throughout his life? If so, will be irrevocably hurt or traumatized if forced to live as a boy until he is an adult?

My uneducated recommendation would be to go ahead and let him live as a girl – short of surgery. Dress as a girl – behave a s a girl – but no snip-snip if you know what I mean.

I don't think that anyone would perform gender reassignment surgery on anyone less than 18.

Hormone treatments as a teenager might be something to consider in order to minimize masculine traits and maximize female traits. The good thing about this is that it would be relatively reversible.

You'd be wrong.

Kim Petras, 16, may have become the world's youngest transsexual after completing gender reassignment surgery last November

From Tim to Kim: German pop star, 16, becomes world's youngest transsexual after sex change op | Mail Online

And I can't find it but I'm pretty sure I heard of 1 that had it at 13 somewhere in Asia.

You might not be able to get it done in the US, but you did say "anyone".

Wow! Are you telling me that that was a boy just a few years ago!? Okay. I looked at the link. I'd say that the doctors did a great job.