Illegal Immigration Cries Canada

Discussion in 'Politics' started by ajwps, Nov 24, 2004.

  1. ajwps
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    ajwps Active Member

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    Canada Complains of Illegal Immigrants From USA


    The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada Has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.

    The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among Left leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill O' Reilly.

    Canadian border farmers say its not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.

    I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

    In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields.

    Not real effective," he said. The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."

    Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals Near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.

    A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

    When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often Wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR.

    In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes ingenious ways of crossing the border.

    Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers.

    If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, We get suspicious about their age," an official said.

    Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are Creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.

    I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just cant support them," an Ottawa resident said. How many art-history majors does one country need?"

    In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said.

    We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach out."
     
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  2. no1tovote4
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    no1tovote4 VIP Member

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    :rotflmao:
     
  3. Merlin1047
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    Merlin1047 Senior Member

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    :thup: :thup: :laugh:
     
  4. UsaPride
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    UsaPride Senior Member

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    Too funny!!!! :D
     
  5. ScreamingEagle
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    ScreamingEagle Gold Member

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    :teeth:

    Can u imagine all those non-SUV/truck-driving liberals in the winter snows of Canada? I guess the Canadian liberals must all gravitate toward the big cities, same as here.
     
  6. Said1
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    Said1 VIP Member

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    Not on my watch. :flameth:
     
  7. Merlin1047
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    Merlin1047 Senior Member

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    Okay - then here's what you do. Go out into the woods - that should be easy since 99.999999% of the great frozen north is covered with them. ;)

    Find a clearing - that's the hard part. Then put out several cups of latte', scatter a few pounds of trail mix and a couple of pounds of granola on the ground. Throw around a few Birkenstock sandals for good measure.

    Then get a gun and wait. There is no bag limit on liberals and they taste like shrimp.
     
  8. Said1
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    Said1 VIP Member

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    You forgot the patchouli oil and "no war for oil" signs that will attract the hard core 18-25 crowd.
     
  9. ajwps
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    ajwps Active Member

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    There is a report that leftist Teresa Heinz Kerry caught her depressed husband reading about Sura Arafat and her 15+ BILLION dollar inheritence in the local Mass newspaper.

    Teresa was quoted as saying "don't even think about it!"

    :crutch:
     
  10. Eightball
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    Eightball Senior Member

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    AJWPS:

    Did you think this up yourself, or did you find this write-up somewhere?

    Would you mind if I copy/pasted it and put in another forum. I will give you credit for the article. It is too hillarious! Thank you for giving me some good laughter time. I've needed it.

    Regards, Eightballsidepocket
     

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