i usually don't care for this guy's commentary but today's was a winner and i thought you folks might have some fun with it If a hunter's gotta go, what's wrong with the woods? If a hunter's gotta go, what's wrong with the woods? John Kelso, CommentaryJohn Kelso » If a hunter's gotta go, what's wrong with the woods? Updated 5:22 a.m. Published: 7:53 p.m. Monday, May 17, 2010 If it's permissible for bears to do what bears do in the woods, why not Texas hunters? This question popped up March 9 when the Waco regional office of the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality got a complaint on hunters pooping in the woods in rural Limestone County, east of Waco. "The complainant alleged that David Cousins had been leasing out a hunting cabin and allowing the hunters to deficate (sic) in the woods," the TCEQ complaint report says. Part of the problem, said Anna Dunbar, regional director of TCEQ's Waco office, is that the hunting cabin had an outhouse. "It was just an old-fashioned hole in the ground with a little seat over it," she said. She explained that outhouses of this sort are "strictly prohibited." Outhouses are illegal in Texas? What's this state coming to? This brings up a serious philosophical question. Should hunters have plumbing, and if they do, should they be forced to use it? Doesn't the Second Amendment address hunters going in the woods? If it doesn't, it should. Many hunters go hunting not so much for the deer as to get away from the "Yes, dear." Hey, there is such a thing as quality of life. The complaint was referred to Limestone County Judge Daniel Burkeen, who wrote a response to Tim Blackmon, water and waste section work leader for the TCEQ's Waco regional office. "Dear Tim," Judge Burkeen's letter begins. "We have had some delay in our investigation of the incidents alleged in the complaint which you kindly forwarded to us. The problem is, we have recently had a rash of reports of cows, horses, sheep and goats defecating at will in pastures throughout the county. On top of this, we suspect that wild hogs, deer, and all sorts of other animals are defecating without even trying to find a proper facility. In addition, I have personal proof on my windshield of a mischievous bird defecating in flight." You can imagine all the working hours Limestone County would burn up, and the excessive expense, if the county had to assign workers to go into the woods to gather samples and have them mailed off to be analyzed to determine who or what is the responsible party. Or as Burkeen writes in his letter to TCEQ's Waco office, "Should we send these to you, or directly to Austin?" "It's just one of those things that struck me: Don't these people have better things to do?" said Burkeen, who doesn't hunt. "It's one of those things that's just not really a big problem. We've got bigger problems to deal with." In his letter, Burkeen urges the TCEQ to handle the matter locally. "When it comes to matters of excessive defecation, Washington bureaucrats would only add to our misery," he writes. Still, couldn't this lead to a new Cabinet position? You know, the secretary of, well, nevermind. John Kelso's column appears on Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays. Contact him at 445-3606 or firstname.lastname@example.org.