Ice-Dragon: Capital Demonology

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Abishai100, Aug 22, 2018.

  1. Abishai100
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    Capitalism inspires us to make wild moody poetry...

    This mediocre-yarn/parody was inspired by Three Kings.

    Signing off (as summer ends),



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    A modern-day Internet-blogging 'vigilante' named Ajay was posting photos of himself in outlandish head-gear and masks and wielding strange items/objects symbolizing 'democracy-weaponry.' This blogger purchased a Ouija board and wanted to contact the demonic spirit of a fabled ancient-world warrior named Kael. Ajay wanted to debate with Kael about the capitalism-symbolism of the mythical Ice-Dragon, a titan of anarchy and doom. Ajay was shocked when Kael accepted the offer and therefore Ajay prepared to debate with the warrior and then post the discussion on US Message Board. What a treat!

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    AJAY: Capitalism is gorgeous...
    KAEL: It's a system for piracy, nevertheless!
    AJAY: The Ice-Dragon will tempt us to refute the value of commerce.
    KAEL: The Ice-Dragon is a 'messenger' of subversion.
    AJAY: I wonder why he doesn't breathe fire...
    KAEL: The Ice-Dragon breathes freezing-frost, since it likes paralysis more than pain.
    AJAY: What paralyses consumers/capitalists?
    KAEL: A crash in the stock market; a stereo-store burglary; 9/11; FDA failures.
    AJAY: I think the EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) is more vital than the FDA.
    KAEL: The FDA (Food and Drug Administration) oversees quality in fast-food.
    AJAY: I do suppose fast-food is a hallmark of the 'conveniences' of capitalism/consumerism.
    KAEL: Indeed; the Ice-Dragon would paralyse vain consumers simply oblivious to piracy.
    AJAY: Who cares about pirates in a system of cheeseburgers and iTunes?
    KAEL: Subverting 'convenience' systems comprises a more 'dirty' brand of terrorism!
    AJAY: I suppose there's nothing avoidable about 'filth and fury.'
    KAEL: Capitalism can be defended by military intelligence (CIA/NSA).
    AJAY: Americans love Facebook and eBay; the Ice-Dragon creates panic about mobility!
    KAEL: Yes, if you're frozen, you're oblivious about your T-Mobile/Sprint mobile phone...
    AJAY: Maybe the Ice-Dragon simply reminds us that commerce is 'fragile.'
    KAEL: Yes, these 'glass-networks' of merchants in modern-America symbolize traffic.
    AJAY: And traffic is an 'arm' of species-circulation (e.g., NASDAQ).
    KAEL: The Ice-Dragon would want us all to feel like we're 'mumbling.'
    AJAY: No one wants an unintelligible merchant or worse, a troubled merchant.
    KAEL: The Ice-Dragon is furious about things like Exxon-Valdez; that's all I have to say.


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    After Ajay concluded his offbeat Ouija-incantated discussion with the ancient warrior Kael, he decided to purchase a very fancy JVC stereo on eBay and take a photo of it and then post the photo to complement his write-up of his philosophical discussion (about capitalism/consumerism) with Kael. Ajay's JVC stereo (photo) nicely enhanced his presentation of his discussion with Kael. When U.S. President Donald Trump read Ajay's post (on US Message Board), he decided to contact Ajay and ask him where he could purchase a congruent model of the JVC stereo...for his grand-kids!

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    Ajay was given two tickets to a special White House private movie-showing of the new futurama-paranoia film Edge of Tomorrow (Tom Cruise). Ajay attended with his new girlfriend Emily, and President Trump and the First Lady watched the Cruise dystopia-film with them in the White House. As Ajay enjoyed the film with his girlfriend, he remembered his capitalism-rhetorics 'debate' with Kael and how the imagery from the Cruise film made him think of the 'intricacies' of capitalism/consumerism labyrinths. Was Planet Hollywood an 'arm' of psychiatry? Ajay started feeling goosebumps as he started thinking about the ominous Ice-Dragon. Ajay and Emily watched the rest of the film at the White House and were given souvenir pens.

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    TRUMP: I liked that new Tom Cruise film!
    CARTER: I think Ajay and Emily liked it as well...
    TRUMP: They received souvenir pens for their charming visit.
    CARTER: Ajay seemed worried about something...
    TRUMP: He was muttering something about an 'Ice-Dragon.'
    CARTER: Capitalism tends to make everyday people...nervous!
    TRUMP: That's why we're here, Carter; to make people feel more 'giddy.'
    CARTER: Consumers want to feel giddy.
    TRUMP: Americans are scarred by the Crash and 9/11.
    CARTER: Any trauma regarding the 'flow' of traffic haunts civilization...
    TRUMP: The key to organized governance is 'satisfying people.'
    CARTER: Are you satisfied with the JVC stereo Ajay showed you?
    TRUMP: Yes, that was a great find!
    CARTER: Perhaps anti-capitalism terrorists should simply watch more movies.
    TRUMP: I think these new age terrorists actually despise capitalism-rhetoric films like Casino.
    CARTER: I'd love to see a Tom Cruise film about an IBM executive...
    TRUMP: We need to hype toys and tech more; I'll continue using Twitter!
    CARTER: Your 'tweets' have become quite the rage, sir.
    TRUMP: Hail to Toys 'R Us!


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    :1peleas:
     

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