I Was Raped On New Years Eve...

[Anguille]

I'd be willing to bet I would not end up needing a Lawyer.

Don't count on it, Simpson.

 

[manifold]

It wouldn't be the first time a chick got drunk, spread her legs, and then cried rape when she sobered up.

If both people are wasted and neither protests, I don't see how it can be considered rape.

Assuming of course that is how it went down. I suppose it's entirely possible that the guy remained sober (on new years eve) just so he could date rape a drunk and defenseless chick. But not very likely.

Are drunk drivers also guiltless in your opinion?

Not guilty of rape, yes.

 

[Darkwind]

I know. It's not too clear of a line of demarcation between honest consent even though drunk and rape.

Interesting. So what happens when the guy, (alleged), rapist, goes to court and says, "she asked for it?"

And what of the girls "boyfriend?" Is he right saying that if she hadn't gotten so drunk, it wouldn't have happened?

Who should dump who?

K. Drinking alcohol does not mean a woman wants to be raped or that she deserves to be raped.

My point is that apparently the law indicates that drunk persons cannot consent to sex. But, we all know that honest sex happens while drunk. Does that mean the girl was raped or that the guy is a rapist? Not in my book.

But, a drunk girl who is passed out and gets raped is clear rape in my book. A drunk girl who is coerced into sex is raped too, in my book. But, a drunk girl who had sex with a guy who interested her while she was drunk, is not a victim of rape. Yet, it seems like the law would make her one.

See my point? If drunks cannot consent, then how would the law make for a demarcation of these situations?

I agree with this.

There has to be a way in which a woman who suddenly starts having remorse over her actions cannot simply cry rape and ruin a mans life.

Of course, the best policy is not to have sex with any woman who has been drinking unless she is your wife. The law is just to grey here to risk it in My opinion.

 

[manifold]

It wouldn't be the first time a chick got drunk, spread her legs, and then cried rape when she sobered up.

If both people are wasted and neither protests, I don't see how it can be considered rape.

Assuming of course that is how it went down. I suppose it's entirely possible that the guy remained sober (on new years eve) just so he could date rape a drunk and defenseless chick. But not very likely.

Sounds like you have some experience in a situation like this.

Considering your condemnation of your friend's "stupid bitch wife", no surprise you'd find a way to blame the victim.

I didn't blame anyone.

All I'm saying is that if both people are falling down drunk, yet somehow manage to fuck, I'm disinclined to call it rape.

Considering your track record of man-hating, I can understand why you think it's ok for a chick to get drunk, fuck a dude, and then ruin his life because she feels like a whore afterward. You're quite a gal!

 

[manifold]

Dump the boyfriend and prosicute the criminals

What about her being so drunk? What if she was acting like she wanted to get laid?

intercourse without consent is rape...if a women is too wasted to be aware of her actions then she cant give consent....so its rape....

And what if the man is also too wasted to be aware of his actions?

I once passed out while making out with a chick at a party and she proceeded to undress me, and ride me. Of course when I woke up in the middle of it I wasn't about to complain, but I certainly didn't give any sort of consent beforehand. And at 22 years old, apparently my cock didn't need any conscious consent either.

 

[Anguille]

Interesting. So what happens when the guy, (alleged), rapist, goes to court and says, "she asked for it?"

And what of the girls "boyfriend?" Is he right saying that if she hadn't gotten so drunk, it wouldn't have happened?

Who should dump who?

K. Drinking alcohol does not mean a woman wants to be raped or that she deserves to be raped.

My point is that apparently the law indicates that drunk persons cannot consent to sex. But, we all know that honest sex happens while drunk. Does that mean the girl was raped or that the guy is a rapist? Not in my book.

But, a drunk girl who is passed out and gets raped is clear rape in my book. A drunk girl who is coerced into sex is raped too, in my book. But, a drunk girl who had sex with a guy who interested her while she was drunk, is not a victim of rape. Yet, it seems like the law would make her one.

See my point? If drunks cannot consent, then how would the law make for a demarcation of these situations?

I agree with this.

There has to be a way in which a woman who suddenly starts having remorse over her actions cannot simply cry rape and ruin a mans life.

Of course, the best policy is not to have sex with any woman who has been drinking unless she is your wife. The law is just to grey here to risk it in My opinion.

Men have been found guilty of raping their wives. Just a heads up.

 

[AllieBaba]

My son's ex-wife was raped when she went down the hall to the laundry room (highrise apartment). He had gone to bed and she wanted to do one more load of laundry before turning in. The rapist was hiding in the laundry room (the lock was apparently broken) and took her out of the building at gunpoint and when she finally escaped some neighbors took her to the hospital.

My son's immediate reaction was rage--at everyone. Apparently this is common, especially when a man wasn't there to protect his woman. I know he still feels some guilt after all of this time.

Back to the OP, hopefully this woman will watch how much she drinks from now on. But I don't see this as much different from the "date rape" drugs that men put in a woman's drinks to render her unconscious. Does it really matter how the woman became unconscious--either drugs or alcohol?

This woman's boyfriend's initial reaction should not be too swiftly judged considering, as you point out, that rage is often the partner of a rape victim's first reaction. I hope that the rape was not a factor in your son's divorce, though it sounds like it may have been since you mention his remorse.
I think though, that I would have a hard time trusting my boyfriend again if he accused me of causing my own rape.

The gang rapists have no excuse for their crime. Mob mentality took over and compassion went out the door.

No, that wasn't the cause of their divorce. She didn't seem to realize that you don't date after you get married. That was one bad period though, a couple of months after their first baby was born. The perpetrator was shot and killed by the police the next month when he broke into another building, so at least they didn't have to go through the ordeal of a trial.

I do believe that men whose wives or girlfriends are raped go through a certain amount of rage and grief which isn't usually addressed by counselors.

It's absolutely common and expected for the significant others of rape victims to go through a whole gamut of emotions. Rage, anger at their partner, suspicion that it might just be a lie to cover up infidelity, sorrow, anxiety that every time they have sex with their partner that person is viewing them as the rapist, and of course rage at the perp, the system (whichever it may be) that didn't adequately protect their loved one, anger against God, and feelings of inadequacy on their part.

The way you deal with it is you support them, and you tell them over and over, it's normal to feel these things and you need to just take your loved one's word for it, be there for her, be accepting and non-judgmental in your behavior and words, and when you are feeling like you're unable to cope, seek counseling. One of my sons went through this and he actually sought out a pastor, I don't even know what kind. He sort of just picked one out randomly, and went to the pastor's office and vented for a couple of hours, and it completely turned him around. He was able to say things to a stranger that he absolutely couldn't share with his loved one, that he didn't feel comfortable saying to me, and he happened to pick someone who had some training in helping people through such horrible crises.

It's not good to pick at it too much because that makes it harder on the victim. If they get to thinking that everyone knows, that whenever their significant other is looking at them they're thinking about what happened, it can ruin a relationship. You have to deal with it on a certain level, but you also have to agree just to get past it and pick up where you left off.

 

[Darkwind]

K. Drinking alcohol does not mean a woman wants to be raped or that she deserves to be raped.

My point is that apparently the law indicates that drunk persons cannot consent to sex. But, we all know that honest sex happens while drunk. Does that mean the girl was raped or that the guy is a rapist? Not in my book.

But, a drunk girl who is passed out and gets raped is clear rape in my book. A drunk girl who is coerced into sex is raped too, in my book. But, a drunk girl who had sex with a guy who interested her while she was drunk, is not a victim of rape. Yet, it seems like the law would make her one.

See my point? If drunks cannot consent, then how would the law make for a demarcation of these situations?

I agree with this.

There has to be a way in which a woman who suddenly starts having remorse over her actions cannot simply cry rape and ruin a mans life.

Of course, the best policy is not to have sex with any woman who has been drinking unless she is your wife. The law is just to grey here to risk it in My opinion.

Men have been found guilty of raping their wives. Just a heads up.

I'm aware of it. Doesn't really negate My point though. The best policy, in My opinion and given the climate in our country, is never to have sex with a woman who has been drinking and quite possibly get a signed consent from a woman who is sober before engaging libido.

 

[xotoxi]

Interesting. So what happens when the guy, (alleged), rapist, goes to court and says, "she asked for it?"

And what of the girls "boyfriend?" Is he right saying that if she hadn't gotten so drunk, it wouldn't have happened?

Who should dump who?

K. Drinking alcohol does not mean a woman wants to be raped or that she deserves to be raped.

My point is that apparently the law indicates that drunk persons cannot consent to sex. But, we all know that honest sex happens while drunk. Does that mean the girl was raped or that the guy is a rapist? Not in my book.

But, a drunk girl who is passed out and gets raped is clear rape in my book. A drunk girl who is coerced into sex is raped too, in my book. But, a drunk girl who had sex with a guy who interested her while she was drunk, is not a victim of rape. Yet, it seems like the law would make her one.

See my point? If drunks cannot consent, then how would the law make for a demarcation of these situations?

I agree with this.

There has to be a way in which a woman who suddenly starts having remorse over her actions cannot simply cry rape and ruin a mans life.

Of course, the best policy is not to have sex with any woman who has been drinking unless she is your wife. The law is just to grey here to risk it in My opinion.

Its probably a good idea not to act like an animal without any conscious control over your sexual drive and fuck every woman than comes within your visual field.

Maybe men should consider a few dates before dipping their sausage into the sauce pit.



(And by "you"...I don't mean "you, Darkwind")

 

[Anguille]

It wouldn't be the first time a chick got drunk, spread her legs, and then cried rape when she sobered up.

If both people are wasted and neither protests, I don't see how it can be considered rape.

Assuming of course that is how it went down. I suppose it's entirely possible that the guy remained sober (on new years eve) just so he could date rape a drunk and defenseless chick. But not very likely.

Sounds like you have some experience in a situation like this.

Considering your condemnation of your friend's "stupid bitch wife", no surprise you'd find a way to blame the victim.

I didn't blame anyone.

All I'm saying is that if both people are falling down drunk, yet somehow manage to fuck, I'm disinclined to call it rape.

Considering your track record of man-hating, I can understand why you think it's ok for a chick to get drunk, fuck a dude, and then ruin his life because she feels like a whore afterward. You're quite a gal!

Warming up for your mani-meltdown #1 of 2010 ?

Falling down drunks can barely get it up much less manage to rape. Still, if they manage to do the crime they must do the time. Drunkenness is not accepted as an excuse in drunk driving incidents, nor it it an excuse for rape.

 

[AllieBaba]

Which is actually what handfasting, betrothals, and marriage ceremonies are all about. Though they don't eliminate rape, at least you have the initial consent forms, and a binding contract which names the perpetrator if rape does occur.

 

[Darkwind]

K. Drinking alcohol does not mean a woman wants to be raped or that she deserves to be raped.

My point is that apparently the law indicates that drunk persons cannot consent to sex. But, we all know that honest sex happens while drunk. Does that mean the girl was raped or that the guy is a rapist? Not in my book.

But, a drunk girl who is passed out and gets raped is clear rape in my book. A drunk girl who is coerced into sex is raped too, in my book. But, a drunk girl who had sex with a guy who interested her while she was drunk, is not a victim of rape. Yet, it seems like the law would make her one.

See my point? If drunks cannot consent, then how would the law make for a demarcation of these situations?

I agree with this.

There has to be a way in which a woman who suddenly starts having remorse over her actions cannot simply cry rape and ruin a mans life.

Of course, the best policy is not to have sex with any woman who has been drinking unless she is your wife. The law is just to grey here to risk it in My opinion.

Its probably a good idea not to act like an animal without any conscious control over your sexual drive and fuck every woman than comes within your visual field.

Maybe men should consider a few dates before dipping their sausage into the sauce pit.

Well, its a good idea not to act like an animal in any situation.

I've always been of the belief that a man who can't go without sex isn't much of a man. Much better to get them to chase you and then pick carefully who you are willing to lay with.

 

[manifold]

Sounds like you have some experience in a situation like this.

Considering your condemnation of your friend's "stupid bitch wife", no surprise you'd find a way to blame the victim.

I didn't blame anyone.

All I'm saying is that if both people are falling down drunk, yet somehow manage to fuck, I'm disinclined to call it rape.

Considering your track record of man-hating, I can understand why you think it's ok for a chick to get drunk, fuck a dude, and then ruin his life because she feels like a whore afterward. You're quite a gal!

Warming up for your mani-meltdown #1 of 2010 ?

Falling down drunks can barely get it up much less manage to rape. Still, if they manage to do the crime they must do the time. Drunkenness is not accepted as an excuse in drunk driving incidents, nor it it an excuse for rape.

So they are both guilty of rape in your opinion?

So who is the victim?

 

[Anguille]

What about her being so drunk? What if she was acting like she wanted to get laid?

intercourse without consent is rape...if a women is too wasted to be aware of her actions then she cant give consent....so its rape....

And what if the man is also too wasted to be aware of his actions?

I once passed out while making out with a chick at a party and she proceeded to undress me, and ride me. Of course when I woke up in the middle of it I wasn't about to complain, but I certainly didn't give any sort of consent beforehand. And at 22 years old, apparently my cock didn't need any conscious consent either.

Just because you enjoyed being raped while passed out at a frat party doesn't mean women should too.

BYW, if that girl had turned out to be A-man-duh, would you still have been so pleased with yourself?

 

[AllieBaba]

Zoning in and out of consciousness while making out with the girl of your drunken choice is a little different than passing out and finding out 15 guys you don't know have just used you like a sex doll.

 

[manifold]

intercourse without consent is rape...if a women is too wasted to be aware of her actions then she cant give consent....so its rape....

And what if the man is also too wasted to be aware of his actions?

I once passed out while making out with a chick at a party and she proceeded to undress me, and ride me. Of course when I woke up in the middle of it I wasn't about to complain, but I certainly didn't give any sort of consent beforehand. And at 22 years old, apparently my cock didn't need any conscious consent either.

Just because you enjoyed being raped while passed out at a frat party doesn't mean women should too.

BYW, if that girl had turned out to be A-man-duh, would you still have been so pleased with yourself?

I hate to burst your bubble, but it'll take a lot more than just acting like a garden variety stupid **** if a meltdown is what you seek.

 

[chanel]

Jillian is right about the law. And of course running around topless does not mean someone deserves to be raped. But with that said, there are girls who tease to a point that all signs say "fuck me". I don't want to sound all prudish here, but I have seen obscene pics of teen girls who advertise their sluttiness. With the internet and "sexting", boys certainly get the idea that a girl is easy. I'd be curious if a case of "rape" was ever rebutted with seductive messages sent by the victim. I just want to shake some of these girls and tell them how dangerous this "playful" exhibitionism can be. Check your kids myspace folks and ask to see their text messages. You may be in a for a rude awakening. Even my SONS have asked good friends of theirs to remove erotic pics because they were worried for their safety and reputations.

 

[manifold]

Zoning in and out of consciousness while making out with the girl of your drunken choice is a little different than passing out and finding out 15 guys you don't know have just used you like a sex doll.

Of course.

And perhaps you have the courage Anguille lacks and will answer my simple question.

What if both parties are falling down drunk and neither protests? Is the man still guilty of rape?

I say no.

 

[Anguille]

I didn't blame anyone.

All I'm saying is that if both people are falling down drunk, yet somehow manage to fuck, I'm disinclined to call it rape.

Considering your track record of man-hating, I can understand why you think it's ok for a chick to get drunk, fuck a dude, and then ruin his life because she feels like a whore afterward. You're quite a gal!

Warming up for your mani-meltdown #1 of 2010 ?

Falling down drunks can barely get it up much less manage to rape. Still, if they manage to do the crime they must do the time. Drunkenness is not accepted as an excuse in drunk driving incidents, nor it it an excuse for rape.

So they are both guilty of rape in your opinion?

So who is the victim?

The person who initiates intercourse is the rapist if the other person, the victim, is too drunk or drugged or mentally deficient or in some obvious way too incapacitated to give informed consent. If no consent at all is given or if the victim protests it's even more obvious that a rape has occurred.
Duh!

Sometimes consent is given out of fear. It's no less a rape when that happens either.

 

[Anguille]

Zoning in and out of consciousness while making out with the girl of your drunken choice is a little different than passing out and finding out 15 guys you don't know have just used you like a sex doll.

I wonder if manifold feels less of a stud because he was only raped by one cheerleader and not the whole cheerleading team.