I Want a Divorce!!!

[California Girl]

Maybe you haters should just leave the country. Just get the hell out.

im dual citizenship with israel.

But this is our country as much as theirs. Anyone who has to resort to whining 'get the hell out ' has lost the argument, along with their humor. The left are a humorless bunch, generally speaking. I guess it's all that time they have to brood over the evils of the right - cuz none of them work.

 

[xotoxi]

In the new conservative nation, will all of the roads be privately owned. And if so, how much will the tolls cost?

how much you wanna pay????

Nothing while I am driving. I want to pre-pay and have the quality and safety of the roads guaranteed.

 

[Foxfyre]

In the new conservative nation, will all of the roads be privately owned. And if so, how much will the tolls cost?

how much you wanna pay????

Nothing while I am driving. I want to pre-pay and have the quality and safety of the roads guaranteed.

Maybe you need to belong the Liberal nation? The way I understand it, they'll guarantee you whatever you want if you prepay.

 

[Modbert]

Maybe you need to belong the Liberal nation? The way I understand it, they'll guarantee you whatever you want if you prepay.

Because being able to drive on a road without having some private entity have a tollbooth every 10 feet is such a Liberal thing.

 

[Oddball]

Nice strawman, Robbie.

Toll booths aren't the only avenue by which roads could be private enterprise operations.

 

[Modbert]

Nice strawman, Robbie.

Toll booths aren't the only avenue by which roads could be private enterprise operations.

You're right, they could always have people pay a certain amount every year on the same date.

Oh wait, that's what we call taxes.

By the way, I'm not taking this thread seriously as the entire concept of the OP is a joke anyhow. I'd recommend the same to you.

 

[AvgGuyIA]

Dogbert is right though that the OP concept did not originate with me. I did write some of it, but not all. So I should have included that disclaimer.

But do any of you have that little humor program that was circulating around the internet a year or two ago? He sure could use it.

Thank you for posting it; not everyone has seen everything passed around on the internet.

 

[Foxfyre]

Nice strawman, Robbie.

Toll booths aren't the only avenue by which roads could be private enterprise operations.

Even in New Mexico which has ALWAYS been a Democratic bastion, and is most often among the blue states, there is no right to have the state build a road to your house or business. So many such private roads and bridges exist and are the responsibility of the property owner to keep up.

If the people agree to a social contract to share costs for mutually utilized roads, however, Tolls are not a bad plan to pay for them as those who use the roads are the only ones who will pay it. Fuel taxes are another good method because those who pay such taxes are the ones who use the roads. There are no doubt a combination of fair and equitable ways to do that.

Those in the Liberal Nation won't have to worry about it because they'll be promised roads and maintenance by their leaders.

 

[ihopehefails]

I would be happy to have seperate rooms within the same house where, in each room, we can do whatever we want. Big Daddy can then fend off any intruders that might attempt to mess with our rooms.

 

[The Rabbi]

Maybe you haters should just leave the country. Just get the hell out.

Like this guy?

 

[Douger]

You can have my part.
I prefer living in the first world, where there is freedom instead of FreeDumb.

 

[California Girl]

Typical liberals to whine about the divorce settlement. Always want something their better half has worked for while they stayed home in their trailer, letting the kids run wild.

 

[theDoctorisIn]

You law and order guys can take the prisons too - along with that you can take the 7 million prisoners too.

We'll keep the rehabs and clinics.

You guys can have the preachers and televangelists. We'll take the doctors and scientists.

We could go back and forth all day....

 

[California Girl]

You law and order guys can take the prisons too - along with that you can take the 7 million prisoners too.

We'll keep the rehabs and clinics.

You guys can have the preachers and televangelists. We'll take the doctors and scientists.

We could go back and forth all day....

That wouldn't be fair - the prisoners are mainly your team, so we can't have them. They are your responsibility.

 

[theDoctorisIn]

You law and order guys can take the prisons too - along with that you can take the 7 million prisoners too.

We'll keep the rehabs and clinics.

You guys can have the preachers and televangelists. We'll take the doctors and scientists.

We could go back and forth all day....

That wouldn't be fair - the prisoners are mainly your team, so we can't have them. They are your responsibility.

You're right, fair is fair.

You can have all the militia guys, all the corporate thieves and all the rapists and murderers.

We'll keep the non-violent drug offenders.

 

[California Girl]

You law and order guys can take the prisons too - along with that you can take the 7 million prisoners too.

We'll keep the rehabs and clinics.

You guys can have the preachers and televangelists. We'll take the doctors and scientists.

We could go back and forth all day....

That wouldn't be fair - the prisoners are mainly your team, so we can't have them. They are your responsibility.

You're right, fair is fair.

You can have all the militia guys, all the corporate thieves and all the rapists and murderers.

We'll keep the non-violent drug offenders.

Nope, the rapists and murderers are liberal.... and they're all innocent or even if they're not, they had really hard lives and they don't vote GOP. They vote democrat. You get them.

The militia and corporates will be fine with us. You can definitely keep the junkies though - good luck trying to fund rehabs for them without our tax dollars.

 

[theDoctorisIn]

That wouldn't be fair - the prisoners are mainly your team, so we can't have them. They are your responsibility.

You're right, fair is fair.

You can have all the militia guys, all the corporate thieves and all the rapists and murderers.

We'll keep the non-violent drug offenders.

Nope, the rapists and murderers are liberal.... and they're all innocent or even if they're not, they had really hard lives and they don't vote GOP. They vote democrat. You get them.

The militia and corporates will be fine with us. You can definitely keep the junkies though - good luck trying to fund rehabs for them without our tax dollars.

You know blue states pay more taxes than red states and get less, right? It's OUR tax dollars that are paying for YOUR services.

 

[ihopehefails]

You're right, fair is fair.

You can have all the militia guys, all the corporate thieves and all the rapists and murderers.

We'll keep the non-violent drug offenders.

Nope, the rapists and murderers are liberal.... and they're all innocent or even if they're not, they had really hard lives and they don't vote GOP. They vote democrat. You get them.

The militia and corporates will be fine with us. You can definitely keep the junkies though - good luck trying to fund rehabs for them without our tax dollars.

You know blue states pay more taxes than red states and get less, right? It's OUR tax dollars that are paying for YOUR services.

Red states actually provide all the jobs during a recovery because of the inability for blue states to produce jobs. Without those free-enterprise, low taxation, and non-union states you guys would starve. That money is just the compensation for doing the work you guys can't.

Quite frankly we need more money because blue state people smell funny. Honestly, do you guys bathe? I can smell you coming off the airplanes and I wonder if the airplanes ran out of toliet paper during the flight.

 

[theDoctorisIn]

Nope, the rapists and murderers are liberal.... and they're all innocent or even if they're not, they had really hard lives and they don't vote GOP. They vote democrat. You get them.

The militia and corporates will be fine with us. You can definitely keep the junkies though - good luck trying to fund rehabs for them without our tax dollars.

You know blue states pay more taxes than red states and get less, right? It's OUR tax dollars that are paying for YOUR services.

Red states actually provide all the jobs during a recovery because of the inability for blue states to produce jobs. Without those free-enterprise, low taxation, and non-union states you guys would starve. That money is just the compensation for doing the work you guys can't.

Quite frankly we need more money because blue state people smell funny. Honestly, do you guys bathe? I can smell you coming off the airplanes and I wonder if the airplanes ran out of toliet paper during the flight.

Got nothing better to do than troll?

Isn't it past your bed time?

 

[Sarah G]

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the 1940's, but it just isn't working anymore. We tried to stay together for the sake of the future generations, but regretfully we have to accept that this relationship has run its course. We have grown apart. The ideological and emotional divide has become so wide and irreconcilable that the only logical course is to go our separate ways.

But hey, this will be a good thing for both of us. We can end this on a high note. We can still be friends. Let's do it.

Please sign the following:

DIVORCE AGREEMENT:

We will equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a portion. That will be the hardest part but so long as we agree on roughly the same amount of coastline, mountains, lakes, north/south latitudes, etc. commensurate with a per capita division, we can work that out.

After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. We'll take along the economists who know how to design a system where everybody pays his or her fair share and no more than is necessary to operate our government which will be based on original Constitutional principles.

You are welcome to the liberal judges, the ACLU, the UAW, the AFLCIO, the SEIU, the teachers' unions, PETA, and Planned Parenthood. We'll take the Salvation Army and similar organizations, and what conservative judges, teachers, and labor experts are left.

Since you hate guns and war, it is logical that we'll take the firearms, police force, NRA, and the military, but you guys get Cindy Sheehan, Code Pink, Oprah, Alec Baldwin, and Barbra. We'll even throw in Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnel but it will be your responsibility to find bio-diesel vehicles big enough to move all of them.

We'll keep capitalism, the most greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, big oil, Wal-Mart, Ford, and Wall Street. You get benevolent socialism, Ben & Jerry,'s, Flying Star, General Motors, and the electric transportation industry.

We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's, rednecks, and Tea Partiers. You get the academics, hippies, illegal aliens, peaceniks, and war protesters.

We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain.

You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can have all the Volkswagons and Smart Cars.

We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem but will give up I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya, and We Are the World.

We'll take the private and parochial schools and the home schoolers. You get the entire public education system.

As we seem to lean on and respect them more, we'll keep and take all responsibility for our Constitution as the Founders' intended it, cultural heritage, traditional values, our history, and our flag. Unencumbered, your side will then be free to take along a flexible Constitution that you can bend or stretch any directions you want, and you can define your culture, history, and values any way you see fit.

In the interest of parting, I suggest that we get together in 10 years or so and see how its working out for each of us.

Sincerely,

Your Conservative friends, family, neighbors, colleagues, and associates

In the new conservative nation, will all of the roads be privately owned. And if so, how much will the tolls cost?

Roads? They won't have roads, they'll all want to be bosses and just making millions a year...

and no taxes., just all tax cuts for the rich.