I struck gold with a song I wrote

[Blake Allyn]

Listen to this, I have convinced myself I hit gold with this song, but keep fearing its possible I am hearing as I want to.

Please listen to this song and give me an honest assessment. I feel like I am either right and its a gem, or its fucking terrible and I tricked myself. Lyrics below.



“Every Generation”

Every Generation Makes fun of the old fashions
But Every generation follows the new fashion
Every situation is wrong if you think it through
Thoughts and inclinations are borrowed by me and you

Chorus:
What we need is some love in here
Something strong to help us pass away all the tears

All this locomotion is mumbled under the sun
Changes in emotion don’t help anyone
And every conversation is misunderstood
This is my station go with the flow for the good

Chorus:
What we need is some love in here
Something strong to help us pass away all the tears

 

[miketx]

I think it needs to change the words around to go with the music somewhat.

 

[WheelieAddict]

needs a short bridge with lyrics "what we need" quiet in the backround repeating fading out.

 

[Rambunctious]

I like it....

 

[flacaltenn]

Listen to this, I have convinced myself I hit gold with this song, but keep fearing its possible I am hearing as I want to.

Please listen to this song and give me an honest assessment. I feel like I am either right and its a gem, or its fucking terrible and I tricked myself. Lyrics below.



“Every Generation”

Every Generation Makes fun of the old fashions
But Every generation follows the new fashion
Every situation is wrong if you think it through
Thoughts and inclinations are borrowed by me and you

Chorus:
What we need is some love in here
Something strong to help us pass away all the tears

All this locomotion is mumbled under the sun
Changes in emotion don’t help anyone
And every conversation is misunderstood
This is my station go with the flow for the good

Chorus:
What we need is some love in here
Something strong to help us pass away all the tears

Lyrics are a great start. Worth working with. But you need a new tune.. Pounding 3 chords and the same arppegios for 3 minutes just isn't going on the charts. Find a hook musically, massage the lyrics to fit. Either pick up the beat or slow it down.. Thanks for the preview.

 

[ValerieYanez]

I think it’s cool. I like it

 

[miketx]

Listen to this, I have convinced myself I hit gold with this song, but keep fearing its possible I am hearing as I want to.

Please listen to this song and give me an honest assessment. I feel like I am either right and its a gem, or its fucking terrible and I tricked myself. Lyrics below.



“Every Generation”

Every Generation Makes fun of the old fashions
But Every generation follows the new fashion
Every situation is wrong if you think it through
Thoughts and inclinations are borrowed by me and you

Chorus:
What we need is some love in here
Something strong to help us pass away all the tears

All this locomotion is mumbled under the sun
Changes in emotion don’t help anyone
And every conversation is misunderstood
This is my station go with the flow for the good

Chorus:
What we need is some love in here
Something strong to help us pass away all the tears

Lyrics are a great start. Worth working with. But you need a new tune.. Pounding 3 chords and the same arppegios for 3 minutes just isn't going on the charts. Find a hook musically, massage the lyrics to fit. Either pick up the beat or slow it down.. Thanks for the preview.

OP, ^This. I tried to say that but failed.

 

[flacaltenn]

Oh. and welcome to USMB. I'm a big fan of Songwriters' Night at the Blue Bird Cafe here in Nashville. The city where there's more songwriters than Starbucks baristas..

 

[BULLDOG]

Post it again at 45rpm. You accidentally left on 33.