I Return, and the Harper's Index Strikes Again

May 12, 2008
46
4
6
Michigan
It's time for everybody's favorite game, Fun with Harper's Index!

In the interests of my sanity and time, I regretfully will not be going through the zine to painfully link every statistic with its source. Personally, I blame Harper's for making it a pain to find their sources - rather disingenuous, I have no choice other than to admit.

All the same, I like what they do. If you would like to call a statistic on the carpet, I would be glad to look up its source for you - you might even catch Harper's in wrongdoing! (The statistics are compiled by interns, after all.)

So without further ado, those parts of the Index I found most interesting:

Number of corporations that have publicly committed to sponsoring the Democratic National Convention, as of June: 75
Number for the Republican National Convention: 50

Well, I daresay that defies CONVENTIONal wisdom! Yuck yuck yuck. (It also reveals a lot about the Dems, imho.)

Percentage of Americans who say that they or someone in their family has married in order to get health insurance: 7

Did they include American expats in our northern neighbor, Canuckistan? Because I know I've been on the lookout for a reasonably-tolerable Canadian woman - actually, could anyone help me out, maybe with a phone number?

Estimated amount by which per-gallon gas prices would change if the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge were drilled: -4 cents

Wow! Four whole cents! But those sneaky buggers at Harper's forgot to tell us how long that would take, or how many refineries we'd have to build...oh, somebody call T. Boone Pickens!

Number of U.S. troops sent to Iraq and Afghanistan since 2003 after being deemed medically "non-deployable:" 43,000

Well, I'm sure most of those were just dudes with flat feet. Surely not the developmentally disabled... (No, that's not a John Kerry-style joke - that's a reference to recruiters who've been caught going after developmentally disabled people.)

Minimum number of extraordinary renditions that the United States has made since 2006: 200

It's a good thing Bush took Nelson Mandela off the terrorist list. We might have had an embarassing fiasco, kidnapping a nobel peace prize laureat, torturing him, and leaving him (IF we found him innocent) ignominously on a dirt road somewhere in Eritrea!

Number of Texas school districts that keep track of truants with electronic monitoring devices: 3

Well. What do you expect from the place where this and this happened? I'm just glad that the man responsible for those fiascos is no longer in charge of Texas education - he got a gig at the White House!

Number of times per year that Canada's defense ministry requires a think tank it funds to be mentioned in the press: 29
Number of op-ed pieces the think tank's staff must publish, including letters: 15

I love when this happens. I get to say "Harper's Magazine is Harping on Steven Harper!" :rofl: And you know, this is proof that we liberals aren't only concerned with criticizing our own government. After all, we don't do things like that in the United States (but if we did, it would look something like this. At least that column was transparent, listing the author as the Secretary of Commerce).

"Year of the Potato," according to the United Nations: 2008

...I got nothing.

Social Security number of Todd Davis, CEO of the identity-protection firm LifeLock: --
Months after he published the number as a dare to thieves that his identity was, in fact, stolen: 13

Ah, our uncrushable enterpreneurial miracle-working spirit. (I left out his SS number on ethical grounds, despite its already being made public and his identity having been stolen. It's just good practice.)

And finally, la pièce de résistance:

Number of condoms shipped to Antarctica's McMurdo Station in January, just before winter began:

I'll let you all guess at that one - it's just too incredible. (And no cheating!)
 
Last edited:
It's time for everybody's favorite game, Fun with Harper's Index!

In the interests of my sanity and time, I regretfully will not be going through the zine to painfully link every statistic with its source. Personally, I blame Harper's for making it a pain to find their sources - rather disingenuous, I have no choice other than to admit.

All the same, I like what they do. If you would like to call a statistic on the carpet, I would be glad to look up its source for you - you might even catch Harper's in wrongdoing! (The statistics are compiled by interns, after all.)

So without further ado, those parts of the Index I found most interesting:



Well, I daresay that defies CONVENTIONal wisdom! Yuck yuck yuck. (It also reveals a lot about the Dems, imho.)



Did they include American expats in our northern neighbor, Canuckistan? Because I know I've been on the lookout for a reasonably-tolerable Canadian woman - actually, could anyone help me out, maybe with a phone number?



Wow! Four whole cents! But those sneaky buggers at Harper's forgot to tell us how long that would take, or how many refineries we'd have to build...oh, somebody call T. Boone Pickens!



Well, I'm sure most of those were just dudes with flat feet. Surely not the developmentally disabled... (No, that's not a John Kerry-style joke - that's a reference to recruiters who've been caught going after developmentally disabled people.)



It's a good thing Bush took Nelson Mandela off the terrorist list. We might have had an embarassing fiasco, kidnapping a nobel peace prize laureat, torturing him, and leaving him (IF we found him innocent) ignominously on a dirt road somewhere in Eritrea!



Well. What do you expect from the place where this and this happened? I'm just glad that the man responsible for those fiascos is no longer in charge of Texas education - he got a gig at the White House!



I love when this happens. I get to say "Harper's Magazine is Harping on Steven Harper!" :rofl: And you know, this is proof that we liberals aren't only concerned with criticizing our own government. After all, we don't do things like that in the United States (but if we did, it would look something like this. At least that column was transparent, though.)



...I got nothing.



Ah, our uncrushable enterpreneurial miracle-working spirit. (I left out his SS number on ethical grounds, despite its already being made public and his identity having been stolen. It's just good practice.)

And finally, la pièce de résistance:



I'll let you all guess at that one - it's just too incredible. (And no cheating!)

Hey penguins need love to man!!
 
Quote:
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=6 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER-TOP: 1px inset; BORDER-LEFT: 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset">Number of corporations that have publicly committed to sponsoring the Democratic National Convention, as of June: 75
Number for the Republican National Convention: 50
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
Well, I daresay that defies CONVENTIONal wisdom! Yuck yuck yuck. (It also reveals a lot about the Dems, imho.)

It reveals more, I suspect, that corporations are prone to support both parties, but support the perceieved winners (this time) more than losers.

Quote:
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=6 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER-TOP: 1px inset; BORDER-LEFT: 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset">Percentage of Americans who say that they or someone in their family has married in order to get health insurance: 7 </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
Did they include American expats in our northern neighbor, Canuckistan? Because I know I've been on the lookout for a reasonably-tolerable Canadian woman - actually, could anyone help me out, maybe with a phone number?

Add me to that list, please.


Quote:
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=6 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER-TOP: 1px inset; BORDER-LEFT: 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset">Estimated amount by which per-gallon gas prices would change if the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge were drilled: -4 cents </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
Wow! Four whole cents! But those sneaky buggers at Harper's forgot to tell us how long that would take, or how many refineries we'd have to build...oh, somebody call T. Boone Pickens!

Four cents here, four cents there TWENTY OF THIRTY TIMES, and we've got cheaper gas.

Seriously, thought that's more than I thought it would be.


Quote:
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=6 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER-TOP: 1px inset; BORDER-LEFT: 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset">Number of U.S. troops sent to Iraq and Afghanistan since 2003 after being deemed medically "non-deployable:" 43,000 </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
Well, I'm sure most of those were just dudes with flat feet. Surely not the developmentally disabled... (No, that's not a John Kerry-style joke - that's a reference to recruiters who've been caught going after developmentally disabled people.)

That's shocking.

Quote:
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=6 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER-TOP: 1px inset; BORDER-LEFT: 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset">Minimum number of extraordinary renditions that the United States has made since 2006: 200 </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
It's a good thing Bush took Nelson Mandela off the terrorist list. We might have had an embarassing fiasco, kidnapping a nobel peace prize laureat, torturing him, and leaving him (IF we found him innocent) ignominously on a dirt road somewhere in Eritrea!

I love the way they create a word for this crime that makes it seem so innocuous.

Quote:
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=6 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER-TOP: 1px inset; BORDER-LEFT: 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset">Number of Texas school districts that keep track of truants with electronic monitoring devices: 3 </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
Well. What do you expect from the place where this and this happened? I'm just glad that the man responsible for those fiascos is no longer in charge of Texas education - he got a gig at the White House!

Those Texans love their freedoms, don't they?

Quote:
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=6 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER-TOP: 1px inset; BORDER-LEFT: 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset">Number of times per year that Canada's defense ministry requires a think tank it funds to be mentioned in the press: 29
Number of op-ed pieces the think tank's staff must publish, including letters: 15
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
I love when this happens. I get to say "Harper's Magazine is Harping on Steven Harper!" :rofl: And you know, this is proof that we liberals aren't only concerned with criticizing our own government. After all, we don't do things like that in the United States (but if we did, it would look something like this. At least that column was transparent, listing the author as the Secretary of Commerce).

PR is important to everybody, I suppose, in the media age.


Quote:
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=6 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER-TOP: 1px inset; BORDER-LEFT: 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset">"Year of the Potato," according to the United Nations: 2008 </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
...I got nothing.

"I got nothing" he spuddered?


Quote:
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=6 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER-TOP: 1px inset; BORDER-LEFT: 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset">Social Security number of Todd Davis, CEO of the identity-protection firm LifeLock: --
Months after he published the number as a dare to thieves that his identity was, in fact, stolen: 13
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
Ah, our uncrushable enterpreneurial miracle-working spirit. (I left out his SS number on ethical grounds, despite its already being made public and his identity having been stolen. It's just good practice.)

We all live in glass houses

And finally, la pièce de résistance:


Quote:
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=6 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER-TOP: 1px inset; BORDER-LEFT: 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset">Number of condoms shipped to Antarctica's McMurdo Station in January, just before winter began: </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
I'll let you all guess at that one - it's just too incredible. (And no cheating!)

Two dozen per person?<!-- google_ad_section_end -->
 
Four cents here, four cents there TWENTY OF THIRTY TIMES, and we've got cheaper gas.

I'll admit it's higher than I expected, too - but at $4 a gallon, it's still only 1%.

"I got nothing" he spuddered?

XD Seriously, I got nothing. Year of the Potato? Huh? Anyone know the significance of this move by the UN?

Two dozen per person?

I don't know how many people they have, so that could be right. The answer was over 12,000. (When I tried to impress my friends with this knowledge, they were like "dude that's old news, it was on the Daily Show." Go figure...)

Can't say I blame those scientists - gotta have something to do in the cold months, you know? And I bet getting pregnant/someone else pregnant is a good way to lose that scientist's-dream-job.
 

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