I just read this on my favorite GWB website

Discussion in 'Politics' started by Moi, Mar 9, 2004.

  1. Moi
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    Moi Active Member

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    Subject: The Ant & The Grasshopper

    OLD VERSION:

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
    house and laying up supplies for the winter. The
    grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the
    summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

    The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

    MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

    MODERN VERSION:

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
    house and laying up supplies for the winter. The
    grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the away.
    Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a
    press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be
    warm and well fed while others are cold and
    starving.

    CBS, NBC, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering
    grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable
    home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp
    contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such
    wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

    Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody
    cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy Being Green."

    Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where
    the news stations film the group singing, "We shall
    overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the
    grasshopper's sake.

    Tom Daschle & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings
    that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the
    grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make
    him pay his "fair share."

    Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act,"
    retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The
    ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs
    and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive
    taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

    Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
    defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried
    before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list
    of single-parent welfare recipients during his
    administration. The ant loses the case.

    The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of
    the ant's food while the government house he is in,
    which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him
    because he doesn't maintain it.

    The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper is found dead in a
    drug related incident and the house, now abandoned,
    is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful
    neighborhood.

    MORAL OF THE STORY:
    Vote Republican




    If anyone wants the address of the site, just PM me.
     
  2. MtnBiker
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    MtnBiker Senior Member

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    I like it thanks Moi. :)

    Poor shivering grasshopper.
     
  3. janeeng
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    janeeng Guest

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    :clap: :clap: Very interesting!!!!!!!
     
  4. kcmcdonald
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    kcmcdonald Guest

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    that is so relevant!!!! A easy picture for a welfare state. HA Ha
     
  5. jon_forward
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    jon_forward Active Member

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    :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap1: send me the site Moi..
     
  6. nbdysfu
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    nbdysfu Member

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    :laugh:

    I saw the original version of this. It was called "Canadian Grasshopper." I think there is also a second liberal rewrite. Don't know if this is de facto original.

    The Ant and the Canadian Grasshopper

    An updated allegory.

    The Traditional Fable
    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

    The Updated Canadian Version
    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate like him are cold and starving.

    CBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table filled with food. Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

    The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant’s house. The CBC, interrupting an Inuit cultural festival special from Nunavut with breaking news, broadcasts them singing “We Shall Overcome.”

    Svend Robinson rants in an interview with Pamela Wallin that the ant has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his “fair share.”

    In response to polls, the Liberal Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant’s taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. The ant moves to the US, starts a successful agribiz company.

    The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant’s food though Spring is still months away, while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around him because he hadn’t maintained it. Inadequate government funding is blamed, Roy Romanow is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.

    The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Toronto Star blames it on obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for enriching Canada’s multicultural diversity, who promptly terrorize the community
     

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