I don't know, is it still an epiphany if it makes you feel like crap? Anyway, I'm taking a class right now in which all I need to do is write a paper comparing two books, one that is widely accepted as being canonical, and one that isn't, and we have to argue for the inclusion of the non-canonical one by comparing it to the canonical one. So, I'm doing Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. And my teacher has never read it. But, he obviously knows everything there is to know about it, nothing but drugs, and that's it. Which is fine, but the problem is, he's giving me all this crap about how it's not really accepted in the "scholarly community" as anything other than a druggie book. Now, the thing that really makes me furious isn't that this teacher (sorry, PROFESSOR, he gave us a forty-five minute lecture the other day about how teachers just come in and do their jobs, PROFESSORS have to research, do scholarly articles, and occasionally grace us with their presence in front of a class) keeps crapping all over my idea in front of the entire class. I don't like the guy, he doesn't like me, and he clearly doesn't like Hunter Thompson. What pisses me off is his attitude of, "well us SCHOLARS don't care for these types of books." Isn't the point of the paper for me to PROVE that it needs to be included? So doesn't that imply that the scholarly community does NOT need to be welcoming it with open arms? And the thing that really REALLY pisses me off is the way that so many people in the class just fall all over themselves to kiss the teacher's ass, or show off how smart they are to the rest of the class. And, really, what does it prove? What does this professor who spends all of his time sitting in classes and offices, writing articles that will only be read by other professors and underlings eager to get a piece of the scholarly circle-jerk, know about life? What does he know about art? Art is not something to be analyzed, it is something to be felt. And, for some reason, even though it was right in front of me this whole time, this never dawned on me, how full of crap all these (well, most of them) scholars are. I don't know why I am so worked up over this, it's not something as simple as 'oh, he doesn't like my idea' or 'oh, he made fun of my idea in front of the class' because that stuff doesn't affect me anymore. It's just.... I don't know, the condescention, the fear that I'm already like that, or going to be like that. The fact that I have a million times more respect for the weirdo in the class who approached me after class and told me he thought my idea was great than all the straight-A brown-nosers looking down on me because my book has lots of f-words or because, GASP, it's been made into a movie. I don't know. Apparently, I'm the other weirdo in the class, and I'm sort of realizing that among that crowd, I wouldn't want to be anything else other than the outsider who DOESN'T think like everyone else in the room. This has been my quarterly USMB rant. Thank you for listening. By the way, if anyone's actually interested, I'm comparing Fear and Loathing to Dante's Inferno on the basis of characters, plot structure, and the theme of sin and how it relates to the works' respective times as well as how it affects the human psyche.