Last night I dreamt I had passed away and went to heaven. Arriving at the pearly gates, St. Peter said to me, "come on in. I'll show you around. You'll like it here." Walking through the gates, I noticed clocks everywhere. There were grandfather clocks, wall clock, watches, and clocks in every corner. It appeared that heaven was nothing more than a giant clock warehouse. Surprised at how heaven looked, I asked, "St. Peter, what's the deal? Why are all these clocks here in heaven?" St. Peter replied, "The clocks keep track of things on earth. There is one clock for each person. Every time the person on earth sins his clock moves one minute.""For instance, this clock is for Mike Shadey, a used car salesman. If you watch it closely, it will move." "Click." The minute hand on Sam's clock moved one minute. "Click." It moved another minute. "Mike must be into closing a customer right now," said St. Peter. "The minute hand on his clock moves all day." Peter and I continued walking. Soon, we came to a clock with cobwebs on the minute hand. "Whose clock is this?" asked the man. "That clock belongs to your friend, gop_jeff. He is one of the finest, God-fearing, people on earth. I bet his clock hasn't moved in a year or two." We continued walking and touring heaven. I really enjoyed watching the clocks of all my friends. When the tour was finished, I said, "I've seen everyone's clock but Sir Evil's. Where is his clock?" Saint Peter smiled, "Ahh...John's....yeah, we keep it in the back room on warm days - We use his clock for a fan."