‘I Didn’t Even Graduate’: ‘PhD’ Comes Clean in Hilarious Obituary

[Sarah G]

‘I Didn’t Even Graduate’: ‘PhD’ Comes Clean in Hilarious Obituary

Here‘s the second paragraph of Patterson’s first-person obituary:

…I have confessions and things I should now say. As it turns out, I AM the guy who stole the safe from the Motor View Drive Inn back in June, 1971. I could have left that unsaid, but I wanted to get it off my chest. Also, I really am NOT a PhD. What happened was that the day I went to pay off my college student loan at the U of U, the girl working there put my receipt into the wrong stack, and two weeks later, a PhD diploma came in the mail. I didn’t even graduate, I only had about 3 years of college credit. In fact, I never did even learn what the letters “PhD” even stood for. For all of the Electronic Engineers I have worked with, I’m sorry, but you have to admit my designs always worked very well, and were well engineered, and I always made you laugh at work. Now to that really mean Park Ranger; after all, it was me that rolled those rocks into your geyser and ruined it. I did notice a few years later that you did get Old Faithful working again. To Disneyland – you can now throw away that “Banned for Life” file you have on me, I’m not a problem anymore – and SeaWorld San Diego, too, if you read this. [Emphasis added]

Cancer Victim Val Patterson‘s ’Fake PhD’ Obituary Goes Viral: Admits He Never Graduated, Stole a Safe in 1971 | TheBlaze.com

Ok, this is pretty funny, too bad he passed away (or did he), he sounds like a crazy guy..