I Am The Bad Man

[Samson]

My last was putting a cigarrette out on a guy's forehead.

There's probably a law against that sort of thing.

Are you gonna tell why you couldn't find an ashtray?

 

[Conspiracist]

One guy made an extremely smart ass remark towards my wife in a bar.... Probably not knowing I was her husband. When I said something to him some asshole buddy of his jumped in my face and I put my cigarrette out on his forehead.

 

[Samson]

One guy made an extremely smart ass remark towards my wife in a bar.... Probably not knowing I was her husband. When I said something to him some asshole buddy of his jumped in my face and I put my cigarrette out on his forehead.

And that was it?

He said, "Gee, I'm really sorry. If I'd known you were gonna put a cigarrette out on my forehead, I'd never had interferred in your evening?"

 

[Middleman]

Whenever anyone in my family is annoyed or needs the support of berzerker-like fury, they come to me: "Will YOU make this phone call? YOU are.......

good at 'this sort of thing.'"

"This sort of thing," is always dealing with customer service issues, unpleasent neighbors, irritating sales people, kids being bullied.....all the activity in life that may require less than a polite response.

When I respond, to their requests, they're usually happy, but always unsettled. There's always the unsaid but understood feeling that they feel sorry for the target of my response.

And, GOD FORBID that I respond to those who annoy, bully, or irritate ME!!! Then I'm just being A RAVING LUNATIC!!!

That doesn't surprise me.

 

[Conspiracist]

One guy made an extremely smart ass remark towards my wife in a bar.... Probably not knowing I was her husband. When I said something to him some asshole buddy of his jumped in my face and I put my cigarrette out on his forehead.

And that was it?

He said, "Gee, I'm really sorry. If I'd known you were gonna put a cigarrette out on my forehead, I'd never had interferred in your evening?"

Yah right.. I am sure if we had a couple drinks in our hands and were kicking back tellin' lies I may embellish a bit more... But realistically the guy seemed to have freaked the fuck out and grabbed my shirt with one hand and tried punching me with the other while I was pretty much just throwing rights until the bouncers came and broke it up. They made me leave and the other guys stayed.

The guy that talked smack about my wife claimed he wasn't even talking about my wife. It was funny to see the big black mark from the cigarrette on the guys forehead.

 

[Samson]

Whenever anyone in my family is annoyed or needs the support of berzerker-like fury, they come to me: "Will YOU make this phone call? YOU are.......

good at 'this sort of thing.'"

"This sort of thing," is always dealing with customer service issues, unpleasent neighbors, irritating sales people, kids being bullied.....all the activity in life that may require less than a polite response.

When I respond, to their requests, they're usually happy, but always unsettled. There's always the unsaid but understood feeling that they feel sorry for the target of my response.

And, GOD FORBID that I respond to those who annoy, bully, or irritate ME!!! Then I'm just being A RAVING LUNATIC!!!

That doesn't surprise me.

Just because I wanna burn down everyone's 30' ft trailor home that runs their fucking gas generator ALL DAY in the middle of my campground?

 

[Samson]

One guy made an extremely smart ass remark towards my wife in a bar.... Probably not knowing I was her husband. When I said something to him some asshole buddy of his jumped in my face and I put my cigarrette out on his forehead.

And that was it?

He said, "Gee, I'm really sorry. If I'd known you were gonna put a cigarrette out on my forehead, I'd never had interferred in your evening?"

Yah right.. I am sure if we had a couple drinks in our hands and were kicking back tellin' lies I may embellish a bit more... But realistically the guy seemed to have freaked the fuck out and grabbed my shirt with one hand and tried punching me with the other while I was pretty much just throwing rights until the bouncers came and broke it up. They made me leave and the other guys stayed.

The guy that talked smack about my wife claimed he wasn't even talking about my wife. It was funny to see the big black mark from the cigarrette on the guys forehead.

Well, I'm sure you're wife appreciated having a Real Man with her at the bar to defend her honor.....right?

 

[Conspiracist]

And that was it?

He said, "Gee, I'm really sorry. If I'd known you were gonna put a cigarrette out on my forehead, I'd never had interferred in your evening?"

Yah right.. I am sure if we had a couple drinks in our hands and were kicking back tellin' lies I may embellish a bit more... But realistically the guy seemed to have freaked the fuck out and grabbed my shirt with one hand and tried punching me with the other while I was pretty much just throwing rights until the bouncers came and broke it up. They made me leave and the other guys stayed.

The guy that talked smack about my wife claimed he wasn't even talking about my wife. It was funny to see the big black mark from the cigarrette on the guys forehead.

Well, I'm sure you're wife appreciated having a Real Man with her at the bar to defend her honor.....right?

Isn't that the fuckin funniest part about women? If you don't react they give ya attitude, when you do you get attitude.

 

[Samson]

Yah right.. I am sure if we had a couple drinks in our hands and were kicking back tellin' lies I may embellish a bit more... But realistically the guy seemed to have freaked the fuck out and grabbed my shirt with one hand and tried punching me with the other while I was pretty much just throwing rights until the bouncers came and broke it up. They made me leave and the other guys stayed.

The guy that talked smack about my wife claimed he wasn't even talking about my wife. It was funny to see the big black mark from the cigarrette on the guys forehead.

Well, I'm sure you're wife appreciated having a Real Man with her at the bar to defend her honor.....right?

Isn't that the fuckin funniest part about women? If you don't react they give ya attitude, when you do you get attitude.

Oh I'm sure she told the story to her little friends around a nice soothing cup of tea whilst nibbling crumpets, and all her friends agreed that you were a Beast while secretly comparing the size of your balls to their own husbands'.

 

[Middleman]

Whenever anyone in my family is annoyed or needs the support of berzerker-like fury, they come to me: "Will YOU make this phone call? YOU are.......

good at 'this sort of thing.'"

"This sort of thing," is always dealing with customer service issues, unpleasent neighbors, irritating sales people, kids being bullied.....all the activity in life that may require less than a polite response.

When I respond, to their requests, they're usually happy, but always unsettled. There's always the unsaid but understood feeling that they feel sorry for the target of my response.

And, GOD FORBID that I respond to those who annoy, bully, or irritate ME!!! Then I'm just being A RAVING LUNATIC!!!

That doesn't surprise me.

Just because I wanna burn down everyone's 30' ft trailor home that runs their fucking gas generator ALL DAY in the middle of my campground?

Good thing my trailer is only 16 ft, with only a lousy marine battery.

Hey brother, I'm with you on the generators, they piss me off too.