I am so sick of it...

[Againsheila]

Yesterday I was feeling better, the sun was out, I was happy. I made plans to finally go get my orthopedic stockings (have to be at the pharmacist when they first open up for measuring, something always comes up) and, of course, my son's caregiver didn't show up again. The company won't return my calls. According to the caregiver's facebook page, he's off to Yakima...he left yesterday, wasn't it nice of him to call and let me know so I could get a replacement?

Of course, my husband left clothes in both the washer AND dryer so I have to put up with the urine smell for hours. No one did the dishes last night so I had to do those...My back aches now, my stomach aches and I'm in tears....

I'm so sick of feeling better, getting happy and then getting shit on.....

 

[Big Black Dog]

Such is the game of life... You've been dealt a bad hand, according to some, but as bad as you feel it is, there are people who have life a whole lot worse. As they sing in the play "Annie", "The Sun will come out tomorrow..." I've read lots of your posts. You're a strong person and handle things that some of us others would simply cave in to. Stick your chin up, take a deep breath, and take a couple of your "get tough" pills. Betcha tomorrow is a better day. Know that you have a cheering squad here at USMB. You're a winner.

 

[AllieBaba]

That's all terrible but really, it's part and parcel of living.

I don't have a disabled child but my grown sons and their wives have lived with me in the past when they had nothing...and none of them did anything around the house, lol. It was pretty atrocious but I remember thinking, is this something i really want to focus on? I mean, life is work, and most of it is nasty. And yes, they're lolling around making messes eating all my food and not washing dishes or picking up clothes...but on the other hand, I love them and don't want to constantly nag at them.

So I decided hey, I'll do what I want when I want, and not complain. If I don't want to do it, I'll leave it and everyone else can wonder why there are no clean dishes and food, but they'll live.

It worked out quite well...and now when they come to MY house to visit, they clean! It's wonderful!

So just saying; yeah, the people we love do take shameless advantage of us. Yup they're inconsiderate turds. But they're OUR inconsiderate turds.

 

[Ringel05]

 

[syrenn]

Hugs, that was totally shitty of the care giver to just leave without any notice to you. I hope your day gets better hun.

 

[Ravi]

Sheila,

Though I never, or almost never, agree with you...I have to say from reading your posts I think you are one amazing woman and I applaud you.

I wish I could say something to make things better. The only thing that I can say is that having children is a blessing and a nightmare for all of us.

Sigh...but not having them would be worse.

IMO.

 

[R.D.]

(((((Hugs)))))

 

[random3434]

Hang in there Shelia.

Did you ever call a University (Special Ed Dept) to see if any college kids wanted to earn extra money to come help you out once in awhile? Try it if you haven't. {I did that in college.}

Hugs dear, and your friends at the USMB are here for you when you want to let it all out!

 

[bigrebnc1775]

Yesterday I was feeling better, the sun was out, I was happy. I made plans to finally go get my orthopedic stockings (have to be at the pharmacist when they first open up for measuring, something always comes up) and, of course, my son's caregiver didn't show up again. The company won't return my calls. According to the caregiver's facebook page, he's off to Yakima...he left yesterday, wasn't it nice of him to call and let me know so I could get a replacement?

Of course, my husband left clothes in both the washer AND dryer so I have to put up with the urine smell for hours. No one did the dishes last night so I had to do those...My back aches now, my stomach aches and I'm in tears....

I'm so sick of feeling better, getting happy and then getting shit on.....

Tell your husband men should know how to use a washer and dryer. I hate it when people are dependent on other people to do the simple things in life. And your husband sounds like he's dependent on you.

 

[Againsheila]

Here's an interesting twist. I emailed my son's counselor this morning to tell here we needed to seriously discuss placement for him. When she didn't answer me, I wrote her again and said I was in a great deal of pain, I was in tears and I was considering suicide. So, the cops show up at my door ready to take me away. I'm all excited, even hug one, then tell him that we have to take my autistic kid too as we can't leave him alone. They ended up leaving us both here. Apparently, they'll take the insane mom, but not when she insists on taking along the adult kid that can't be left alone, go figure.

 

[bigrebnc1775]

Here's an interesting twist. I emailed my son's counselor this morning to tell here we needed to seriously discuss placement for him. When she didn't answer me, I wrote her again and said I was in a great deal of pain, I was in tears and I was considering suicide. So, the cops show up at my door ready to take me away. I'm all excited, even hug one, then tell him that we have to take my autistic kid too as we can't leave him alone. They ended up leaving us both here. Apparently, they'll take the insane mom, but not when she insists on taking along the adult kid that can't be left alone, go figure.

Thats the government for you.

 

[AllieBaba]

Here's an interesting twist. I emailed my son's counselor this morning to tell here we needed to seriously discuss placement for him. When she didn't answer me, I wrote her again and said I was in a great deal of pain, I was in tears and I was considering suicide. So, the cops show up at my door ready to take me away. I'm all excited, even hug one, then tell him that we have to take my autistic kid too as we can't leave him alone. They ended up leaving us both here. Apparently, they'll take the insane mom, but not when she insists on taking along the adult kid that can't be left alone, go figure.

Sooo...what was the point? What did you expect?

 

[Grace]

I don't know what to say. I can't even begin to imagine. I'm sorry.

 

[Zoom-boing]

Sheila, aren't there any other placement facilities that would take Andrew? Have you ever called social services . . . would they be able to help or perhaps offer other alternatives?

I'm so sorry for your rotten day and while it's easy to type 'tomorrow is another day' or 'what doesn't kill us makes us stronger' type messages, I know from personal experience that those messages frequently just fall short . . . way short.

Hugs to you.

 

[Againsheila]

Sheila, aren't there any other placement facilities that would take Andrew? Have you ever called social services . . . would they be able to help or perhaps offer other alternatives?

I'm so sorry for your rotten day and while it's easy to type 'tomorrow is another day' or 'what doesn't kill us makes us stronger' type messages, I know from personal experience that those messages frequently just fall short . . . way short.

Hugs to you.

That's the problem, because of his being routine bases, no adult family will take him. When my husband and I were gone for 4 nights last summer, he tore out 3 walls. Our state is broke, at least that's what they keep telling me. They couldn't even provided emergency care when I had to go into the hospital. We are nearly broke from paying for services ourselves.

They talk about putting him on a waiver for a different kind of placement, not in an adult family home but maybe a tenant place with 24/7 care, but so far, they still haven't put him on the waiver and when they do, there's a waiting list. The last waiting list he was on he went on in 2nd grade. He got to the top (for respite care) at the age of 21, when we'd finally gotten him in an adult family home. Of course, no respite care when they are in a home and they closed the home 9 months after he got in so now he's back at the bottom of the waiting list.

Those 9 months he was in that home were a joy. The adult family home blames him for losing their license and so no other will take him. The DDD counselor was all excited that I used the word "suicide" because that she could bring to the attention of her supervisors and maybe, just maybe, they'll work a little harder on finding someplace for Andrew.

She told me to call 911 or the crisis clinic if I get that depressed again. I get the feeling they will only place him when I am in the looney bin.

 

[Againsheila]

Here's an interesting twist. I emailed my son's counselor this morning to tell here we needed to seriously discuss placement for him. When she didn't answer me, I wrote her again and said I was in a great deal of pain, I was in tears and I was considering suicide. So, the cops show up at my door ready to take me away. I'm all excited, even hug one, then tell him that we have to take my autistic kid too as we can't leave him alone. They ended up leaving us both here. Apparently, they'll take the insane mom, but not when she insists on taking along the adult kid that can't be left alone, go figure.

Sooo...what was the point? What did you expect?

I was hoping they'd place Andrew and my husband and I would have less stress, as it is, we are going to die an early death, and then they will have to deal with Andrew and we won't be there to see he's not warehoused or treated badly.

If I have to go to the looney bin to get Andrew placed, then that's what I'll do. It's better than watching my husband work himself into an early grave with all the stress and his Parkinson's.

And of course I was really depressed this morning...pain and stress and hopelessness will do that to you.

 

[AllieBaba]

Soooo...you want to have him warehoused now rather than later, so you can watch over him?

Where are you wanting him placed? Are you planning on paying for it, or someone else? What has to happen to have him "placed"?

 

[strollingbones]

Soooo...you want to have him warehoused now rather than later, so you can watch over him?

Where are you wanting him placed? Are you planning on paying for it, or someone else? What has to happen to have him "placed"?

BACK THE FUCK UP BITCH

warehousing...she is trying to find a place for him...she could have 'warehoused' him when he was born a lot damned easier....taking care of a disabled person is tough....
i dont do it 24/7 and dealing with aids is a time consuming task...i could not imagine having someone living with me like this....dont be so judge fucking mental allie....

now with that said shelia....have you looked into a private place ...wont medicaid pay for that...since he is clearly disabled

o hell no...what has happened to have him placed....he is an adult male with all the strength and drives of an adult male with none of the social skills.....

sometime allie babble....you just get it all wrong

 

[jillian]

Soooo...you want to have him warehoused now rather than later, so you can watch over him?

Where are you wanting him placed? Are you planning on paying for it, or someone else? What has to happen to have him "placed"?

you know, allie. life is funny. and we all get to make those decisions for ourselves. don't you think this is difficult enough for her without someone berating her for doing what she feels is necessary?

seriously. i always say that no one is wise enough to make my moral choices for me. and none of us are wise enough to make them for others.

so until we've walked in someone else's shoes....

 

[strollingbones]

shelia, try to find a used dryer....your washer can wash 2 loads to what the dryer can do.....you may be able to contact an autism org and get them to help or get it donated...a small thing that can really help in your situation