I called in sick because I am sick, can't talk, can't breathe, don't want to work. But honestly, I can't talk. So I got my fifth of bacardi gold and came home with it and ALMOST COULDN'T OPEN IT! Panic! True terror! It's like, if you can't call in sick and then drink yourself well, why not just go to work and infect all the assheads you come into contact with? Luckily, I was able to open it. Enjoy my drunken ramblings as I proceed to drink it. BTW...if you ever find yourself with a bottle of fine (that means with a real cork) wine in the wilderness and NO FUCKING CORKSCREW (I have bought hundreds of them in my time. I never have one. NO clue where they go) you can oust the cork by tapping the bottom of the bottle (medium gentle) against a tree trunk, exposed root (best) or if you must, a block of wood. It will come out. Takes a bit of tapping. Provides about 15 minutes of drunken hilarity for all.