Hugs in Kindergarten

[Jackson]

Why not just teach him to write the name he goes by?

Seriously. Indians often go by nicknames...if your student is named "Gina" but goes by "Pod" and that's the name her folks call her, who are you to refuse to teach her to spell that name?

The curricula calls for "the child will learn to write his name". I don't think that is unreasonable.I would feel responsible if she got to second grade and the teacher took the papers and looked at "Pod" and wondered "wth?" She'd have to ask what "Pod" was and then she would ask her to write her given name only to find out she couldn't. My way, The child can write either her given name and if the teacher allows, "Pod."

 

[koshergrl]

The child's name is "Pod" regardless of what you think it should be.

Yeah, this is the problem with educators. So freaking statist. We can use any names we want to use, and we expect you to respect our wishes. OMG that the second grade teacher should be brought to a standstill by the use of (horrors) A NAME THAT ISN'T THE ONE THE STATE APPROVES OF.

Hopefully the second grade teacher is at least intelligent enough to understand "This is what we call this child, and what she goes by."

Whether or not it's on the birth certificate, it's still HER NAME.

Too complicated a concept?

 

[koshergrl]

Officious retards, I swear.

 

[koshergrl]

So what do you do in the instance of an Indian kid, who is named after an uncle. The uncle dies, and in their family, they observe mourning by not saying the uncle's name for a year.

So the child decides to go by the name "Jon-Jon" instead of his GIVEN name.

Are you going to force that kid to write "Jonathan" on all his math papers?

 

[koshergrl]

Of course not. He's an INDIAN! They're DIFFERENT.

But if my daughter wants to use the name "Bella" instead of her given name "Isabella", which is also the name of her grandmother but she has never been called by, you're going to shit cookies.

 

[Jackson]

Before the children even arrive in the classroom, the teacher is familiar with their names by doing paperwork and preparations for them. If say, 7 students have nicknames out of the entire classroom, that is 7 more names she has to relearn and possible redo in the class lists. And where do you draw the line? "Jimmy" for James in fine but "Cricket" for Harold is getting awfully casual whereas "Batman" for Seth is just plain strange.

 

[koshergrl]

OMG! Not 7 names!

Psst..you didn't answer my question.

What do you do with Jon Jon, and why do his family customs rate higher than Pod's?

 

[koshergrl]

If you're that overwhelmed, that rigid, and that undone by simple, common changes/occurrences that take place, you really shouldn't be teaching children at all.

 

[koshergrl]

Incidentally, if you were the teacher of one of my kids', I would take this to the superintendent, and you'd be told to cope.

Seriously. And we wonder what's wrong with kids today. Take a look at the people we force them to spend time with.

 

[Jackson]

So what do you do in the instance of an Indian kid, who is named after an uncle. The uncle dies, and in their family, they observe mourning by not saying the uncle's name for a year.

So the child decides to go by the name "Jon-Jon" instead of his GIVEN name.

Are you going to force that kid to write "Jonathan" on all his math papers?

Do I have to say this again?? He has to write his given name until he can write it without a model. Then he can write Jon-Jon on his math paper next to his given name. By the middle of the year, the given name will be dropped as I will be assured he can write it without a model.

Why didn't you name him Jon Jon in the first place if you find it so obtrusive?

 

[Jackson]

If you're that overwhelmed, that rigid, and that undone by simple, common changes/occurrences that take place, you really shouldn't be teaching children at all.

And you are one to judge.

 

[Jackson]

Incidentally, if you were the teacher of one of my kids', I would take this to the superintendent, and you'd be told to cope.

Seriously. And we wonder what's wrong with kids today. Take a look at the people we force them to spend time with.

Do say.

I believe he would be telling you to cope, dear. When writing the given name is in the curriculum, there's not much he can do. Add to that, I gave a concession that the child could write his nickname once he demonstrated he could write his own name without a model.

It isn't what is wrong with kids today, it may be about their unyielding "know it all" parents who don't step back and think. Sorry, It had to be said. I explained the concept three times now.

 

[Jackson]

Incidentally, if you were the teacher of one of my kids', I would take this to the superintendent, and you'd be told to cope.

Seriously. And we wonder what's wrong with kids today. Take a look at the people we force them to spend time with.

Seriously, wouldn't you be embarrassed if your son left 1st grade without being able to write his own name?

 

[koshergrl]

You should be embarassed that you're so incompetent that you can't navigate the use of a nickname in first grade.

 

[Jackson]

You just can't get it, can you? Relax. The world is not against you. It's just the curriculum.

 

[koshergrl]

I find it disgusting that the people who teach our children don't have any more sense than this.

 

[koshergrl]

PS..you're completely wrong on the name thing. You don't have a right to dictate to us that children will learn to spell and go by their given name. If a parent says "Please refer to Joseph as Joey" then you will do that.

Trust me on this, I've actually had this discussion with admin before. The rigid, foolish teacher loses every single time.

 

[Ravi]

The child's name is "Pod" regardless of what you think it should be.

Yeah, this is the problem with educators. So freaking statist. We can use any names we want to use, and we expect you to respect our wishes. OMG that the second grade teacher should be brought to a standstill by the use of (horrors) A NAME THAT ISN'T THE ONE THE STATE APPROVES OF.

Hopefully the second grade teacher is at least intelligent enough to understand "This is what we call this child, and what she goes by."

Whether or not it's on the birth certificate, it's still HER NAME.

Too complicated a concept?

Can they also pretend to be whatever gender they wish?

 

[koshergrl]

I could care less. As long as the boys aren't in my daughter's bathroom.

 

[Delta4Embassy]

My 5-year-old just completed his first week of kindergarten. Already, this year is shaping up into a pain in the ass. I do not understand what it is with public school teachers that they all believe themselves to be infallible know-it-alls about the "right" way to think and be.

First day of school, I had lengthy meetings with Quinn's teacher, the principal, and the school counselor to discuss the behavior issues he's been having while he deals with the aftermath of my divorce (Primarily, he has an exaggerated dislike of change and transition, and has been very clingy and bad-tempered about the switch from preschool to kindergarten.) During this conversation, I explained to her why he often insists on being called, "Robin": he decided months ago that his father was Batman, he was Robin, and his older brother was Superman, and they fight "bad guys" together. His preschool just shrugged and went with it, not considering it worth a power struggle. His new teacher, however, informed me that she didn't believe in accommodating fantasies and was "really invested in making him live in reality and be Quinlan". I looked at her like a dog hearing a high-pitched sound and said, "I should explain that Quinlan's parents were both creative writing majors, his older brother is studying to be a video game designer, and we're members of the SCA. For Quinlan, this IS reality." Seriously, lady? You think your job is to define reality for kindergartners and make them reign in their imaginations? I shudder to think.

Now we have a new conflict. Quinlan is a very physically affectionate child, who lives in a very physically affectionate world. For several days now, the teacher has been reporting - in very disapproving tones - that he needs to learn to "stop touching people". By this, she means that he's prone to patting people on the arm or shoulder, either to get their attention or to tell them that he likes them.

Okay, fine. I'm not impressed, but I actually do get the issue. There are some freaky-weird parents in the world, and the teachers and schools are concerned about protecting themselves from accusations of molestation. It's lousy that kindergarten teachers can't hug their students when appropriate, but whatever. And those same parents probably have passed on all sorts of strange aversions to physical contact to their kids. I explained this to Quinlan, and told him that he needs to only hug and pat people that Mommy has told him are okay with that sort of behavior, because we don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable.

However, he came home last night and told me that "Hugs are only for mommies and daddies. No one else." Excuse me? You need to enforce your rules, but you won't be doing it by making negative value judgements to my kid about how his family works.

Hoo boy.

Don't stop the hugging and physical affection. Proven science physical sensation deprivation results in self-harm and violent behaviours.

"As a developmental neuropsychologist I have devoted a great deal of study to the peculiar relationship between violence and pleasure. I am now convinced that the deprivation of physical sensory pleasure is the principal root cause of violence. Laboratory experiments with animals show that pleasure and violence have a reciprocal relationship, that is, the presence of one inhibits the other. A raging, violent animal will abruptly calm down when electrodes stimulate the pleasure centers of its brain. Likewise, stimulating the violence centers in the brain can terminate the animal's sensual pleasure and peaceful behavior. When the brain's pleasure circuits are 'on,' the violence circuits are 'off,' and vice versa. Among human beings, a pleasure-prone personality rarely displays violence or aggressive behaviors, and a violent personality has little ability to tolerate, experience, or enjoy sensuously pleasing activities. As either violence or pleasure goes up, the other goes down."
Article Body Pleasure and the Origins of Violence

Better to hug and pat on the arm/back or other expressions of connection and affection than raise a child where those are bad things. Whole good touch/bad touch thing has had disatrous results. Because the result has been 'no touch ever' instead of differentiating between sexual and non-sexual contact.