How to spot a Republican:

[JBeukema]

seriously, you negged him for saying he first ever heard it as a swipe at mgmt?


lame, dude, uber lame

 

[JBeukema]

Guess YOU don't have the magic touch.

That's not what women tell me!

a lot of women LIE about things like that

maybe to you

 

[JBeukema]

leave it to edthemoron to make a joke thread in the HUMOR forum serious

what a fucking moron

it was y'all who got butthurt and started on about the OP 'stealing' the joke

 

[DiveCon]

leave it to edthemoron to make a joke thread in the HUMOR forum serious

what a fucking moron

it was y'all who got butthurt and started on about the OP 'stealing' the joke

dude, i was JOKING
sheeesh you have about as much humor as edthemoron

 

[DiveCon]

That's not what women tell me!

a lot of women LIE about things like that

maybe to you

and to YOU too

 

[JBeukema]

leave it to edthemoron to make a joke thread in the HUMOR forum serious

what a fucking moron

it was y'all who got butthurt and started on about the OP 'stealing' the joke

dude, i was JOKING
sheeesh you have about as much humor as edthemoron

simma down, now

How do you tell a Democrat from a Republican?























No, seriously, I can't see any real difference

 

[Article 15]

This thread has long since gone full retard. Please stop.

 

[JBeukema]

a lot of women LIE about things like that

maybe to you

and to YOU too

So she was lying?

I feel much better now...

thanks, dive!

 

[mudwhistle]

The following joke is by a commenter over at Crooks and Liars. I thought it was good enough to pass on to you guys.
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

old joke
with the examples reversed

but kinda funny that the liberals at that site had to plagiarize it

LOL

Another example of the first quote in my sig.

The joke originally had "engineers" and "management" as the two characters, so if what you say is true, then the CON$ plagiarized it first!

Oh....so there are no Conservative engineers and managers?

Your constant hyperbole is quite amusing.

Btw....I just made an ABSURD comment just to make fun of your usual tactics.

 

[edthecynic]

old joke
with the examples reversed

but kinda funny that the liberals at that site had to plagiarize it

LOL

Another example of the first quote in my sig.

The joke originally had "engineers" and "management" as the two characters, so if what you say is true, then the CON$ plagiarized it first!

Oh....so there are no Conservative engineers and managers?

Your constant hyperbole is quite amusing.

Btw....I just made an ABSURD comment just to make fun of your usual tactics.

You are too BRILLIANT for words.
I was just illustrating absurdity by being absurd.

 

[daveman]

Oh....so there are no Conservative engineers and managers?

Just 6%.

 

[rdean]

Oh....so there are no Conservative engineers and managers?

Just 6%.

6% of scientists.

I suspect for engineers, the numbers are probably similar. I've never met a Republican engineer.

Managers? Now many of those are probably Republicans. I don't see Republicans having a problem firing anyone or taking advantage. I think it may be part of their Party Platform, I'm not sure.

http://onthehillblog.blogspot.com/2010/09/unions-engineers-welcome-obamas-50.html

Engineers Welcome Obama's $50 Billion Infrastructure Plan -- GOP, Not So Much

Support for President Obama's proposal to spend $50 billion to create American jobs by repairing roads and other U.S. infrastructure came from various quarters Monday. Not surprisingly, however, a top Washington Republican immediately opposed the plan.

The civil engineering profession and the unions that played host to Obama's Labor Day announcement are among those to voice approval for the president's strategy to boost the sagging U.S. economy through a large infrastructure expenditure.

 

[rdean]

According to a quick search on Fundrace, in the 2008 Presidential race 3,944 donors who identified themselves as software engineers donated to Democrats vs. 1,128 to Republicans.

https://www.quora.com/Do-Silicon-Valley-engineers-tend-to-skew-Republican-or-Democrat

I think you would actually expect there to be more Republicans in some engineering fields. Software, chemical, a few others.

Fields where you wouldn't expect many are in geology, biology, climatology, anything that might touch on "evolution" or the "age of the earth" or "climate change". Those fields interferes with "mystical beliefs".

Another surprising discovery, when you look up engineering organizations, you find ones such as this:

Student Alliance of Gay Engineers (SAGE) | Facebook

Student Alliance of Gay Engineers (SAGE)Category:Student Groups - Clubs & SocietiesDescription:The mission of SAGE is to create a safe space for LGBTQ students in engineering and similar majors.

SAGE strives for that goal by holing various social and professional development events for undergraduate and graduate LGBTQ and ally students, catering to the fields of engineering, science, technology, and math.

There are also organization of scientists for women, blacks, Hispanics. I couldn't find any for Republicans or conservatives. I didn't say they exist, I just couldn't find any, and believe me, I looked.

 

[Liability]

retardean. Just wind him up! Look at him go.

It's like a Pavlovian response.

If retardean sees the number 6 and the percentage sign following it, he is OBLIGATED (obsessive compulsive behavior) to make his "argument."

Hey, retardean! pssst ...

6%

 

[daveman]

Oh....so there are no Conservative engineers and managers?

Just 6%.

6% of scientists.

I suspect for engineers, the numbers are probably similar. I've never met a Republican engineer.

Managers? Now many of those are probably Republicans. I don't see Republicans having a problem firing anyone or taking advantage. I think it may be part of their Party Platform, I'm not sure.

On The Hill: Unions, Engineers Welcome Obama's $50 Billion Infrastructure Plan -- GOP, Not So Much

Engineers Welcome Obama's $50 Billion Infrastructure Plan -- GOP, Not So Much

Support for President Obama's proposal to spend $50 billion to create American jobs by repairing roads and other U.S. infrastructure came from various quarters Monday. Not surprisingly, however, a top Washington Republican immediately opposed the plan.

The civil engineering profession and the unions that played host to Obama's Labor Day announcement are among those to voice approval for the president's strategy to boost the sagging U.S. economy through a large infrastructure expenditure.

I work with engineers. They are all conservatives.


For someone who claims to be all science-y, you sure do bitterly cling to that unscientific poll.

 

[sangha]

So what's the republican version of this joke?

The wingnuts claim they got one, but I haven't seen it yet.

 

[Liability]

So what's the republican version of this joke?

The wingnuts claim they got one, but I haven't seen it yet.

The wingnut version was the one quoted in the OP.

The "Republican" version was something like this (although it too got updated):

A woman in a hot-air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below.
She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I
don't know where I am."
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."
"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."
The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama Democrat."
"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going.. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

I recall a version from some years back that involved Shrillary Rotten Clinton as the one in the balloon.

 

[sangha]

So what's the republican version of this joke?

The wingnuts claim they got one, but I haven't seen it yet.

The wingnut version was the one quoted in the OP.

The "Republican" version was something like this (although it too got updated):

A woman in a hot-air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below.
She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I
don't know where I am."
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."
"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."
The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama Democrat."
"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going.. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

That makes no sense. Why would anyone think that the member of a party that rejects evolution and science, and thinks the universe is 5000 years old, would know about latitude and longitude and altitude?

 

[Liability]

So what's the republican version of this joke?

The wingnuts claim they got one, but I haven't seen it yet.

The wingnut version was the one quoted in the OP.

The "Republican" version was something like this (although it too got updated):

A woman in a hot-air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below.
She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I
don't know where I am."
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."
"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."
The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama Democrat."
"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going.. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

That makes no sense. Why would anyone think that the member of a party that rejects evolution and science, and thinks the universe is 5000 years old, would know about latitude and longitude and altitude?

The GOP does not reject any of those things. Your mindless reliance on dishonest stereotypes distinguishes you as one of the less intelligent liberoidal idiots.

 

[Liability]

Q. What's the difference between Obama giving a speech and a cardboard cutout of Obama giving a speech?

A. The cardboard cutout looks at the camera instead of the teleprompter.