How to Keep Sane

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Coyote, Jul 9, 2009.

  1. Coyote
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    Coyote Varmint Staff Member Senior USMB Moderator Gold Supporting Member

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    To maintain a healthy level of insanity in an otherwise straight-laced world

    1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
    hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

    2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice!

    3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
    with that.

    4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks . Once everyone has gotten
    over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

    5. In the memo field of all your checks, write for marijuana.

    6. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.

    7. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

    8. Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go'.

    9. Sing along at the opera.

    10. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
    because you have a headache.

    11. When the money comes out the atm, scream ' I won! I won !'

    12. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling
    'run for your lives! They're loose!'

    13. Tell your children over dinner, 'due to the economy, we are going to
    have to let one of you go.'

    And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity

    14. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask
    where the fitting room is.
     

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