How to cure snoring.

[Stash]

A woman has a dog that snores very loud. If she keeps the dog inside she can’t sleep, but if she leaves the dog outside the neighbors complain. One day she asks the vet what she can do about a snoring dog. The vet tells her to tie a strip of soft cloth snugly around the dog’s testicles. She thinks that is the craziest thing she has ever heard and she is not about to do it, but that night the dog’s snoring is keeping her awake. She gets out of bed and finds a strip of red cloth and ties it around the dog’s testicle. As soon as she ties the cloth snugly on the dog…the snoring stops.

She is thrilled that she can finally sleep, but a short while later her husband comes in (drunk as usual) and falls down asleep on the bed beside her. The husband is snoring louder that the dog had been, so she wonders if the same trick will work on him. She gets up and finds a strip of blue cloth and ties it around her husband’s testicles. He immediately stops snoring and the wife is able to sleep.

The next morning the husband gets up, in bad shape from all the drinking. He staggers into the other room. He looks down and sees the blue cloth around his testicles, and then he looks over and sees the red cloth around the dog’s testicles and he is amazed. “Boy, I don’t know where we went last night or what we did, but by God we took first and second place.”