How the hell are you supposed to FEEL?

Cecilie1200

Diamond Member
Nov 15, 2008
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Phoenix, AZ
A friend of mind just died in a traffic accident last night. He was on his motorcyle and a car t-boned him in an intersection.

All of our friends were crying their eyes out today, and posting soppy, sloppy emotional poems on his Facebook page. And some bitch I never heard of before showed up and changed his profile to show how they were all in love and involved and shit, which is news to me since he was still trying to get in my pants as recently as three days ago.

I honestly don't even know what I'm supposed to feel at this point. I'm upset, obviously, but if I wasn't shitfaced drunk, I probably wouldn't even be able to cry. Until about an hour ago, it didn't even feel real. I kept checking my phone, expecting a text from him telling me it was a mistake. And who the hell is this total stranger on his profile, telling me they were "in love" and that all these changes were things he was "intending" to do?

How the hell do you be 23 years old, with your entire life ahead of you and all kinds of plans and dreams, and then just not exist in the next moment, with no one to mourn you except family members who didn't understand you and people who didn't even know you well enough to be able to call and find out when your funeral is?
 
I am sooooo sorry for your loss.

I am not even going to try to make ya feel better.... impossible right now.

Just dont drink too much. It will just make it 10 times worse.

I remember being 23, and thats too f'ing young to die, and exactly why I dont own a motorcycle. Its the other drivers that worry me.

Again I am so sorry for your loss.
 
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Getting in touch with your feelings isn't as necessarily easy as most of us assume it is.

I didn't FEEL anything when my mother died.

It took me some time before the reality of the event really took hold of me.

This is perfectly normal.

Whatever you feel right now is what you need to feel.
 
Cecilie . . . so very, very sorry to hear this. What an awful thing to have happen to anyone let alone someone so very young. Hang in there . . . .
 
It is traumatic. Life is going along and suddenly there is a hole in your life. A person who you counted on, who was there to talk to, to laugh with and to enjoy life with is gone. Emptiness is left, a feeling of emptiness in your chest, your heart. It is so ... aching. A life, promising life gone in a second. Yet life for the living must go on. They will always live in our hearts and they would want us to go on with life. All we can do is cherish those memories and show them respect and love and live our lives to the fullest we can.
 
He wasn't close to his mom, there being some religious issues between them, so not many of us know how to get in touch with her and find out about the funeral. We're working on that. Meanwhile, we are all getting together at his favorite local bar on Friday evening to hold a wake for him.

One more thing: for the love of God, if you're going to ride a motorcycle, WEAR A HELMET.
 
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Cecilie, I am so very sorry for your loss, and understand the feelings you are having. Time. Only time, will help you accept this tragedy. I am glad you wanted to come here and share with people you have known over time and who care.

Athena..
 
Word is that the friends who are hosting the wake want to do some sort of remembrance bonfire, where everyone puts some sort of offering into the fire at the end of the night.

The first time Drew and I met, I told him about how my dad died, and how his funeral was full of people who came to tell us how knowing Dad had changed their lives. I told him that that inspired me so that my goal in life is to have even ONE person show up at my funeral and say that his/her life was better because I existed, and that would mean my life had been worthwhile. Drew said he thought he'd been meant to meet me and hear me say that, because it was exactly what he needed to hear at that point in his life.

So I thought for the remembrance fire, I'd take a rubbing of the face of my dad's crypt, to sort of bring the whole thing full circle, and pay Drew my ultimate compliment of saying that my life is better for having had him in it.

What do y'all think?
 
I am sorry for your loss. I always revert to music when I go into a funk.

This is a song about the death of a young man who was closer to his friends then his religious family. I don't know, it just reminded me of your situation.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHT_KdE_ka4]Lucinda Williams Live - Pineola 2001 - YouTube[/ame]
 
All I can tell you - its life.

I've lost 4 best friends.

I'm not fucking with anyone..

Car crash
Murder
Heroin OD
Prison

Sometimes God takes us when we least expect it and thats their destiny....


When you die he will take your hand and bring you what you always wanted in life.


Yes it hurts your soul a and can hit you like a rock in your chest - you will for them/him tho...
 
Word is that the friends who are hosting the wake want to do some sort of remembrance bonfire, where everyone puts some sort of offering into the fire at the end of the night.

The first time Drew and I met, I told him about how my dad died, and how his funeral was full of people who came to tell us how knowing Dad had changed their lives. I told him that that inspired me so that my goal in life is to have even ONE person show up at my funeral and say that his/her life was better because I existed, and that would mean my life had been worthwhile. Drew said he thought he'd been meant to meet me and hear me say that, because it was exactly what he needed to hear at that point in his life.

So I thought for the remembrance fire, I'd take a rubbing of the face of my dad's crypt, to sort of bring the whole thing full circle, and pay Drew my ultimate compliment of saying that my life is better for having had him in it.

What do y'all think?

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks Cecilie...it's your tribute, no-one else's.

All the best mate.
 
I knew a dude and he died in a ditch and he was coming to see me- not a best friend tho but.....Found his body several days later...

He was on the way to my house and the next day i get a call from the guys mature wife stating concern.

I'm responsible for his death because he was on route to my pad - If i didnt answer the phone that kid would have never died.....
 
A century and more ago, death wasn't the stranger to most people that it is today.

Everybody knew and loved somebody who died too young.

You see this effect in the poetry of the age.

Death and lament was a constant subject. That's because death was no stranger to our forefathers. They all had brothers or sisters, parents, close friends, lovers who died in childhood or in their prime of life. Pathogenic diseases would rage through the population periodically and no family was immune.

Now that HC has made death seem like just one more medical option, we're shocked by it when it comes to someone we know before old age.
 
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