How many republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Discussion in 'Humor' started by midcan5, Feb 6, 2008.

  1. midcan5
    Offline

    midcan5 liberal / progressive

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2007
    Messages:
    10,787
    Thanks Received:
    2,366
    Trophy Points:
    245
    Location:
    Philly, PA
    Ratings:
    +3,299
    1. One to deny that the light bulb needs to be changed

    2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed.

    3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb.

    4. One to tell the nations of the world that they are either for changing the light bulb or for darkness.

    5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid/cost-plus contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb.

    6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a stepladder under the banner: "Light Bulb Change Accomplished."

    7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark.

    8. One to viciously smear #7.

    9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light bulb changing policy all along.

    10. Finally, Joe Lieberman to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing the light bulb and screwing the country.

    clipped from: downwithtyranny.blogspot.com
     
  2. Shattered
    Offline

    Shattered Guest

    Ratings:
    +0
    How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Twenty.

    One to change it.
    Three to do an environmental impact study.
    Two to ensure that Affirmative Action criteria are being met.
    One to liase with the Unions.
    Five to grumble about how the Republicans were trying to keep everyone in the dark.
    Two to get an abortion to celebrate the occasion.
    Three to hold a press conference calling attention to their accomplishment and proclaiming how much more brightly the bulb would be shining if we elected more Democrats to office.
    Three to pass a law banning incandescent light bulbs, because they cause global warming.

    However, when it's all over, everyone is still in the dark because the Democrats don't have enough sense to flip the switch.
     
  3. Ninja
    Offline

    Ninja Senior Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2006
    Messages:
    2,220
    Thanks Received:
    377
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Glorious People's Republic of California
    Ratings:
    +377
  4. Taomon
    Offline

    Taomon Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2007
    Messages:
    1,563
    Thanks Received:
    47
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Ratings:
    +47
    The original joke I heard was How many Bush Administration members does it take to change a lightbulb? The answer: None. There is nothing wrong with the lightbulb, any reference to the incandescence of the lightbulb is a smear from the liberal press, why do you hate freedom?
     
  5. mattskramer
    Offline

    mattskramer Senior Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2004
    Messages:
    5,852
    Thanks Received:
    359
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Texas
    Ratings:
    +359
    How many Democrats or Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?

    We will never know. While each side was reaching and grabbing at the bulbs and while they were fighting among themselves to prove which side could do it better, they broke the one that they were reaching for and smashed all of the replacement bulbs under their feet in the struggle.
     
  6. Taomon
    Offline

    Taomon Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2007
    Messages:
    1,563
    Thanks Received:
    47
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Ratings:
    +47
    But they are passing an education bill filled with earmarks that will bring lightbulbs to each state and wads of cash to pet projercts.
     
  7. Taomon
    Offline

    Taomon Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2007
    Messages:
    1,563
    Thanks Received:
    47
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Ratings:
    +47
    Bush vowed to veto the bill unless the lightbulb clause is dropped completely.
     

Share This Page