How many of Judaism's stories are actually true?

[Pedro de San Patricio]

We know the creation of woman from man and man from dirt 6,000 years ago didn't actually happen. We know there wasn't a global flood that wiped out all life that wasn't put on a boat. We know that Hebrew isn't the mother of all other languages on the planet. We know the entire population of the Hebrew tribes weren't enslaved by the Egyptians to bake bricks. Assuming that there was an enslaved Hebrew population, or at least a population that escaped slavery and converted to their religion, we have better explanations for how they would have reached Canaan than parting a sea with a staff and a magic word. We know Canaan wasn't conquered by the Hebrews as a foreign invading force, partially because they were native to the region to begin with. We're pretty sure Judea/Israel was never more than a minor kingdom that answered to whichever was the dominant empire of the time. I'm unaware of any key story that may have actually happened, at least as recorded in the Bible. Even the clearly metaphorical fiction is surpassed by the Sumerian originals.

 

[irosie91]

We know the creation of woman from man and man from dirt 6,000 years ago didn't actually happen. We know there wasn't a global flood that wiped out all life that wasn't put on a boat. We know that Hebrew isn't the mother of all other languages on the planet. We know the entire population of the Hebrew tribes weren't enslaved by the Egyptians to bake bricks. Assuming that there was an enslaved Hebrew population, or at least a population that escaped slavery and converted to their religion, we have better explanations for how they would have reached Canaan than parting a sea with a staff and a magic word. We know Canaan wasn't conquered by the Hebrews as a foreign invading force, partially because they were native to the region to begin with. We're pretty sure Judea/Israel was never more than a minor kingdom that answered to whichever was the dominant empire of the time. I'm unaware of any key story that may have actually happened, at least as recorded in the Bible. Even the clearly metaphorical fiction is surpassed by the Sumerian originals.

you actually know very little about anything. In fact many of the "facts" you refute have never been claimed by anyone----outside of your circle of nuts. Sumerian literature sucks and has almost nothing beyond rare coincidental similarities to biblical stuff. I always preferred superman comics to green hornet. I notice that
green hornet is very much like batman

 

[Statistikhengst]

We know the creation of woman from man and man from dirt 6,000 years ago didn't actually happen. We know there wasn't a global flood that wiped out all life that wasn't put on a boat. We know that Hebrew isn't the mother of all other languages on the planet. We know the entire population of the Hebrew tribes weren't enslaved by the Egyptians to bake bricks. Assuming that there was an enslaved Hebrew population, or at least a population that escaped slavery and converted to their religion, we have better explanations for how they would have reached Canaan than parting a sea with a staff and a magic word. We know Canaan wasn't conquered by the Hebrews as a foreign invading force, partially because they were native to the region to begin with. We're pretty sure Judea/Israel was never more than a minor kingdom that answered to whichever was the dominant empire of the time. I'm unaware of any key story that may have actually happened, at least as recorded in the Bible. Even the clearly metaphorical fiction is surpassed by the Sumerian originals.

Well, you seem to know a lot.

Not.

 

[Pedro de San Patricio]

you actually know very little about anything. In fact many of the "facts" you refute have never been claimed by anyone----outside of your circle of nuts. Sumerian literature sucks and has almost nothing beyond rare coincidental similarities to biblical stuff. I always preferred superman comics to green hornet. I notice that
green hornet is very much like batman

You're really saying that Noah and Utnapishtim are two totally different characters with no relation? And that nobody's ever said that the stories of Exodus and Joshua ever happened?

 

[Pedro de San Patricio]

Well, you seem to know a lot.

Not.

You know, you're right. I was wrong. Women did come from men. Men are made of dirt and clay. Noah is our grandfather and he spoke Biblicah Hebrew, from which English is descended. The only people who kept the pre-Babel language were the Israelites, the entire population of whom the Egyptians supported. Obviously they escaped one night by splitting a sea in half after their war god killed a fuck ton of people right before condemning murder and commanding Moses to murder all of his Ba'al worshipping kinsmen. Obviously they arrived in this brand new country after wandering around in the desert for forty years without leaving any evidence of this and conquered it in a generation. That's how they became the major regional power they still are today.

Wait, no. Sorry. That's just retarded. My bad.

 

[September]

I love Sumerian "literature" ^_^

My fav is Inanna's Descent, Enûma Eliš, and Nergal & Ereshkigal

​

 

[Statistikhengst]

Well, you seem to know a lot.

Not.

You know, you're right. I was wrong. Women did come from men. Men are made of dirt and clay. Noah is our grandfather and he spoke Biblicah Hebrew, from which English is descended. The only people who kept the pre-Babel language were the Israelites, the entire population of whom the Egyptians supported. Obviously they escaped one night by splitting a sea in half after their war god killed a fuck ton of people right before condemning murder and commanding Moses to murder all of his Ba'al worshipping kinsmen. Obviously they arrived in this brand new country after wandering around in the desert for forty years without leaving any evidence of this and conquered it in a generation. That's how they became the major regional power they still are today.

Wait, no. Sorry. That's just retarded. My bad.

Well, ok....

Keep trying, young Obiwan.

 

[Avatar4321]

We know so much less than we realize.

 

[HaShev]

To answer the OP:
Doesn't matter because the stories are used to learn and grow by (evolve), but the characters are not venerated.
That being said, most errors and lacking understanding by the reader will be the confusion for someone assuming a story as far fetched or a fable.
Example you said 6000 years yet the Hebrew word and usage means AGE as in the world has gone through 6 ages in creating order from it's chaos. Certain ages lead up to or help future ages progress like the Dinosaur age allowed for the later industrial age through the fossil fuels.
Many of the former questioned by sceptic stories were verified through archeological discoveries.
Many of the assumed miracles were proven possible like Moses breaking the rock and water flowing from it, a stream passes through the rocks and this is a common event to break the tip for wayer to flow. Food from the sky also a natural event (tired birds fall from the sky) in that region. Similar natural explainations possible for many of the events including parting waters that later enclosed troops, including finding wheels stuck in mud in an old river bed.
LACKING knowledge of use of words by the sages cause for some comical assumptions, for example:
The word son of man coming from or out of clouds sounds like a crazy superman flying persona when the word cloud in this context referred to a gathering of temple priest as the gathering of hosts look like puffy white clouds in their flowing robes.
Christianity then mistakes the word and tskes it literal and scoffers thus bash the OT because they were misslead by those who butchered it. In other words not only are followers deceived but so too are the non Christians who use their precepts and descriptions which are nothing like the intent or actual definitions and usages. Everyone's been duped and thus kept from where they could and should be if they had not been hampered with that growth (evolution) it's intending.

 

[Mr. H.]

Well, you seem to know a lot.

Not.

You know, you're right. I was wrong. Women did come from men. Men are made of dirt and clay. Noah is our grandfather and he spoke Biblicah Hebrew, from which English is descended. The only people who kept the pre-Babel language were the Israelites, the entire population of whom the Egyptians supported. Obviously they escaped one night by splitting a sea in half after their war god killed a fuck ton of people right before condemning murder and commanding Moses to murder all of his Ba'al worshipping kinsmen. Obviously they arrived in this brand new country after wandering around in the desert for forty years without leaving any evidence of this and conquered it in a generation. That's how they became the major regional power they still are today.

Wait, no. Sorry. That's just retarded. My bad.

Noah spoke perfect English. And he was a white guy that looked a lot like Russell Crowe.

 

[Jroc]

Well, you seem to know a lot.

Not.

You know, you're right. I was wrong. Women did come from men. Men are made of dirt and clay. Noah is our grandfather and he spoke Biblicah Hebrew, from which English is descended. The only people who kept the pre-Babel language were the Israelites, the entire population of whom the Egyptians supported. Obviously they escaped one night by splitting a sea in half after their war god killed a fuck ton of people right before condemning murder and commanding Moses to murder all of his Ba'al worshipping kinsmen. Obviously they arrived in this brand new country after wandering around in the desert for forty years without leaving any evidence of this and conquered it in a generation. That's how they became the major regional power they still are today.

Wait, no. Sorry. That's just retarded. My bad.

Noah spoke perfect English. And he was a white guy that looked a lot like Russell Crowe.

 

[UllysesS.Archer]

We know the creation of woman from man and man from dirt 6,000 years ago didn't actually happen. We know there wasn't a global flood that wiped out all life that wasn't put on a boat. We know that Hebrew isn't the mother of all other languages on the planet. We know the entire population of the Hebrew tribes weren't enslaved by the Egyptians to bake bricks. Assuming that there was an enslaved Hebrew population, or at least a population that escaped slavery and converted to their religion, we have better explanations for how they would have reached Canaan than parting a sea with a staff and a magic word. We know Canaan wasn't conquered by the Hebrews as a foreign invading force, partially because they were native to the region to begin with. We're pretty sure Judea/Israel was never more than a minor kingdom that answered to whichever was the dominant empire of the time. I'm unaware of any key story that may have actually happened, at least as recorded in the Bible. Even the clearly metaphorical fiction is surpassed by the Sumerian originals.

How do you know any of this? Your public school, high school education?

 

[amrchaos]

We know the creation of woman from man and man from dirt 6,000 years ago didn't actually happen. We know there wasn't a global flood that wiped out all life that wasn't put on a boat. We know that Hebrew isn't the mother of all other languages on the planet. We know the entire population of the Hebrew tribes weren't enslaved by the Egyptians to bake bricks. Assuming that there was an enslaved Hebrew population, or at least a population that escaped slavery and converted to their religion, we have better explanations for how they would have reached Canaan than parting a sea with a staff and a magic word. We know Canaan wasn't conquered by the Hebrews as a foreign invading force, partially because they were native to the region to begin with. We're pretty sure Judea/Israel was never more than a minor kingdom that answered to whichever was the dominant empire of the time. I'm unaware of any key story that may have actually happened, at least as recorded in the Bible. Even the clearly metaphorical fiction is surpassed by the Sumerian originals.

Most of what you are quoting are theories and claims supported by some archaeological and linguistic finds. They are not fully accepted universally, and considered topical, highly topical outside of the scientific communities.

However, I guess that within in the next 20 years, many of these claims will be considered fact, thus raising the cognitive dissonance among literal Bible thumpers.

I do not know if you realize it or not, but you are really questioning the inerrancy of the Bible in terms of recent discoveries. Expect a sh##storm for this!!

 

[Delta4Embassy]

We know the creation of woman from man and man from dirt 6,000 years ago didn't actually happen. We know there wasn't a global flood that wiped out all life that wasn't put on a boat. We know that Hebrew isn't the mother of all other languages on the planet. We know the entire population of the Hebrew tribes weren't enslaved by the Egyptians to bake bricks. Assuming that there was an enslaved Hebrew population, or at least a population that escaped slavery and converted to their religion, we have better explanations for how they would have reached Canaan than parting a sea with a staff and a magic word. We know Canaan wasn't conquered by the Hebrews as a foreign invading force, partially because they were native to the region to begin with. We're pretty sure Judea/Israel was never more than a minor kingdom that answered to whichever was the dominant empire of the time. I'm unaware of any key story that may have actually happened, at least as recorded in the Bible. Even the clearly metaphorical fiction is surpassed by the Sumerian originals.

PICARD
You are not God.

Q
Blasphemy! You're lucky I don't
cast you out, or smite you or
something.

What came to mind.

 

[Lipush]

We know the creation of woman from man and man from dirt 6,000 years ago didn't actually happen. We know there wasn't a global flood that wiped out all life that wasn't put on a boat. We know that Hebrew isn't the mother of all other languages on the planet. We know the entire population of the Hebrew tribes weren't enslaved by the Egyptians to bake bricks. Assuming that there was an enslaved Hebrew population, or at least a population that escaped slavery and converted to their religion, we have better explanations for how they would have reached Canaan than parting a sea with a staff and a magic word. We know Canaan wasn't conquered by the Hebrews as a foreign invading force, partially because they were native to the region to begin with. We're pretty sure Judea/Israel was never more than a minor kingdom that answered to whichever was the dominant empire of the time. I'm unaware of any key story that may have actually happened, at least as recorded in the Bible. Even the clearly metaphorical fiction is surpassed by the Sumerian originals.

There's a point hidden somewhere here.

I'm sure.

 

[Pedro de San Patricio]

I thought it was pretty clear. A good example of my point is the escape from slavery story from the seder. It makes a good story. It's taught and commonly believed as historical fact. It's been found never to have actually happened.

 

[irosie91]

We know the creation of woman from man and man from dirt 6,000 years ago didn't actually happen. We know there wasn't a global flood that wiped out all life that wasn't put on a boat. We know that Hebrew isn't the mother of all other languages on the planet. We know the entire population of the Hebrew tribes weren't enslaved by the Egyptians to bake bricks. Assuming that there was an enslaved Hebrew population, or at least a population that escaped slavery and converted to their religion, we have better explanations for how they would have reached Canaan than parting a sea with a staff and a magic word. We know Canaan wasn't conquered by the Hebrews as a foreign invading force, partially because they were native to the region to begin with. We're pretty sure Judea/Israel was never more than a minor kingdom that answered to whichever was the dominant empire of the time. I'm unaware of any key story that may have actually happened, at least as recorded in the Bible. Even the clearly metaphorical fiction is surpassed by the Sumerian originals.

Most of what you are quoting are theories and claims supported by some archaeological and linguistic finds. They are not fully accepted universally, and considered topical, highly topical outside of the scientific communities.

However, I guess that within in the next 20 years, many of these claims will be considered fact, thus raising the cognitive dissonance among literal Bible thumpers.

I do not know if you realize it or not, but you are really questioning the inerrancy of the Bible in terms of recent discoveries. Expect a sh##storm for this!!

expe

I thought it was pretty clear. A good example of my point is the escape from slavery story from the seder. It makes a good story. It's taught and commonly believed as historical fact. It's been found never to have actually happened.

wrong----there is no such "finding" you are a real idiot. How do you "find" something like that-------consult the old copies of the NEW YORK TIMES OF CAIRO? Is there any proof that you DID NOT RAPE AND MURDER that little girl next door??? give me a link

 

[Pedro de San Patricio]

Is there any proof that you DID NOT RAPE AND MURDER that little girl next door??? give me a link

Well, for one thing, there has never been a little girl living in this dorm let alone the room next door.

wrong----there is no such "finding" you are a real idiot. How do you "find" something like that-------consult the old copies of the NEW YORK TIMES OF CAIRO?

Actually, yeah. That kind of is how we do it. We can consult the recovered records of the local peoples. Loanwords or cultural influence can be indicative. We can use the presence or lack of objects associated with a culture to determine whether it existed in an area. Pottery is better than gold to an archaeologist.

 

[BluePhantom]

Well I doubt any of them are true as far as giving an accurate historical accounting on a grand scale. There might be some accurate parts such as Cyrus the Great ending the Jewish exile, for example, but most of them are fully mythical or legends based on historical figures. However, archaeology continues to find new evidence so we have to take that into account. For example, King David was thought by scholars to be a purely mythical figure until the discovery of the Tel Dan Stele in the early 1990s. That piece of evidence doesn't establish conclusively that David was a historical figure (at least not in my mind) but it certainly lends credibility to it.

The reality though is that I am not sure it really matters. It's how we can apply the moral of a story to our every day lives that is important, not whether the events actually happened or not. Don't you think?

 

[irosie91]

Is there any proof that you DID NOT RAPE AND MURDER that little girl next door??? give me a link

Well, for one thing, there has never been a little girl living in this dorm let alone the room next door.

wrong----there is no such "finding" you are a real idiot. How do you "find" something like that-------consult the old copies of the NEW YORK TIMES OF CAIRO?

Actually, yeah. That kind of is how we do it. We can consult the recovered records of the local peoples. Loanwords or cultural influence can be indicative. We can use the presence or lack of objects associated with a culture to determine whether it existed in an area. Pottery is better than gold to an archaeologist.

you make an interesting point----there are loan words that entered Hebrew
that are consistent with the history of Hebrews sojourning in Egypt. "RECORDS
OF THE LOCAL people" ROFLMAO when you find a diary that read "DE JOOOS WEREN'T HERE......let me know. Osnat or ASNAT---is an Egyptian name-----nothing at all to do with Hebrew------it was the Egyptian name of the
woman who became the wife of Joseph----I have a relative in Israel named ASNAT. It remained a name used traditionally by Sephardic jews. The lack
of physical evidence of an event that took place more than 3000 years ago is not
"proof" that it did not happen. I am no linguist----but there are several other "loan words" from Egyptian to Hebrew-----that show up in old and current usage. There is more evidence that jews were in Egypt than there is that Jesus existed.
But I am confident that he did-----just as I am confident that you sorta exist