How in the heck

[Phoenix]

It's a place to exchange information. For DISCUSSION. Once it turns to DEBATE or ARGUEMENT, I have no interest. I know what my viewpoints, worldview, and opinions are. There is nobody here at USMB that is likely to ever make me even consider changing any of them.

Hmmm ... perhaps some just enjoy the mechanics of a debate. As to viewpoints, opinions, etc. - it is important to at least be able to consider other opinions or viewpoints. You can't be right about everything. No one can be.

I have no children and want none. My sister in law's mother saw me playing with my nephew a couple years ago and commented that I should have a couple kids of my own. I told her she was nuts. She asked me why. I told her that I have zero patience, a massive temper and a violent streak. I also have significant Control Issues (I have to be in charge). She said... "So what?" That's when I explained that I could easily see myself accidentally shaking a baby to death at 3am because I couldn't get the kid to be quiet.

Kudos to you for having the foresight to not bringing a child into the world if you feel you would not be able to parent him or her properly. More people should take that stance.

That "filtering" is what I use the Ignore List for. In my real life I can't and wouldn't want to do that for personal reasons, but here online thankfully I can.

Perhaps.

I will agree with your second sentence. Everyone does know something I don't. However, more often than not it's not anything I have an interest in knowing or that will be beneficial to me in any way.

But we don't know what might end up being beneficial or of value. There are people here from all walks of life, different countries, all ages and each has had a life of some sort - obviously. Every person here has lived a different life in almost every way than the one I have lived. There is much to be learned.

I take every moment of life as seriously as a heart attack. I assume everone is a threat to me until proven otherwise and act accordingly. Humor, joy, fun, and happiness are not significant factors in my life, nor will they likely ever be.

I'm sorry. It's difficult for me to imagine humor, joy and happiness not being integral to a fulfilling life.

 

[Phoenix]

I do it by pretending Phoenix looks like her avi.

Sometimes I do. But then the PMS is over.

 

[Anachronism]

Hmmm ... perhaps some just enjoy the mechanics of a debate. As to viewpoints, opinions, etc. - it is important to at least be able to consider other opinions or viewpoints. You can't be right about everything. No one can be.

I'm sure that some do enjoy the mechanics of Debate or Arguement. I do not and never have. It terms of being Right about everything.... we'll have to agree to disagree.

Kudos to you for having the foresight to not bringing a child into the world if you feel you would not be able to parent him or her properly. More people should take that stance.

If nothing else, my bringing a child into this world would likely have severe and long term genetic issues. I am very fortunate that I have a very mild form of the birth defect that affects me. I don't think I'd want to bring a child into the world who might have the more serious version of what I do. Besides, I'd be an AWFUL parent. Though I have been told that I make a pretty awsome "Uncle".

Perhaps.

In real life, I treat every individual I meet as a potential Threat until proven otherwise. Therefore I cannot ignore them. I have to be on the ball and paying attention at all times, as one word, action, movement, etc... can be a potential signal of their intentions.

But we don't know what might end up being beneficial or of value. There are people here from all walks of life, different countries, all ages and each has had a life of some sort - obviously. Every person here has lived a different life in almost every way than the one I have lived. There is much to be learned.

I've never really found the idea of learning simply for its own sake to be of much value. That's part of why I did much better in College than in High School. In HS I was required to take a bunch of classes that I had no interest in and which had no value to what I wanted to do with my life. As such I didn't put much effort in and was a mediocre student. The college I went to had a unique curriculum where everything was focused on your major (which you declared when you applied). Since I saw a value in the information I put a lot more effort in and got a lot better grades and a lot more out of it.

I'm sorry. It's difficult for me to imagine humor, joy and happiness not being integral to a fulfilling life.

Realize that I don't believe those things are integral to a proper life. I believe that we are here to be Tested as to our soul's understanding of Right and Wrong and ability to live a proper life; regardless of whether joy, fun, or happiness are part of it.

I have never met any person in my life that I couldn't live without having in my life or who could bring true joy, happiness, etc... to my life. I believe that IF such a person is out there (and I doubt it), that she would be the one I would marry and spend my life with. Never found her and doubt I ever will.

 

[Phoenix]

Realize that I don't believe those things are integral to a proper life. I believe that we are here to be Tested as to our soul's understanding of Right and Wrong and ability to live a proper life; regardless of whether joy, fun, or happiness are part of it.

I have never met any person in my life that I couldn't live without having in my life or who could bring true joy, happiness, etc... to my life. I believe that IF such a person is out there (and I doubt it), that she would be the one I would marry and spend my life with. Never found her and doubt I ever will.

A "proper" life and a "fulfilling" life are two different things, IMO.

I could live a proper life and be miserable the entire time. Living a fulfilling life is another thing altogether.

If your happiness depends on another person, you're in trouble. It's not so much about finding somebody you can't live without, although the romance novels and movies would like us to believe that. It's more about finding the person that does make your life better. Because true happiness and joy is found within ourselves. Someone else may amplify that but we must first have it.

 

[Anachronism]

A "proper" life and a "fulfilling" life are two different things, IMO.

I could live a proper life and be miserable the entire time. Living a fulfilling life is another thing altogether.

Yes they are two different things. Our difference comes in that you are apparently focused on living a fulfilling life whereas I am focused on living a proper one. I don't know what your spiritual beliefs are, but mine require me to focus on the proper life rather than the fulfilling one.

If your happiness depends on another person, you're in trouble. It's not so much about finding somebody you can't live without, although the romance novels and movies would like us to believe that. It's more about finding the person that does make your life better. Because true happiness and joy is found within ourselves. Someone else may amplify that but we must first have it.

In almost 37 years I haven't found anyone who truly makes my life better, Phoenix. Well, that's not true.... but the one person who I would say does that is already attached and while we have a great friendship we would have made a terrible couple.

If happiness and joy are found in ourselves, then until someone comes up with a time machine and a genetic manipulation device I'm pretty much out of luck.

 

[Cal]

do you guys keep your sanity? Only been on this forum for a short time, my first time doing something like this. Already seen some posts which might be described as 'unusual', but also a few intelligent and lucid ones whether I agreed with them or not. But some are less than respectful, some outright angry and resentful, and some weird ones too. So, for those of you that've been here awhile, how did you manage it and remain rational?

Or have I made a rash assumption?

I was a bit shocked too when i first joined too, but you learn to deal with it. Other boards i came from were all about "respect" and "no flaming" and being "civil" that is not so much the case here.

Think of all of this as freedom of speech. If you want to be able to say what you want, in the fashion that suits you best, you have to allow others to do the same.

Wade in and enjoy yourself. After all if you are not enjoying yourself here what is the point?

Exactly.

 

[Phoenix]

Yes they are two different things. Our difference comes in that you are apparently focused on living a fulfilling life whereas I am focused on living a proper one. I don't know what your spiritual beliefs are, but mine require me to focus on the proper life rather than the fulfilling one.

The two can be combined. My definition of a fulfilling life may be very similar to the definition of a proper one. I can live a good, proper life and it still be a fulfilling life.

In almost 37 years I haven't found anyone who truly makes my life better, Phoenix. Well, that's not true.... but the one person who I would say does that is already attached and while we have a great friendship we would have made a terrible couple.

If happiness and joy are found in ourselves, then until someone comes up with a time machine and a genetic manipulation device I'm pretty much out of luck.

No one that makes your life better, save this one friend? That's too bad.

I'm sure you can find some happiness/joy within but it might be a lot of work. Or it could be very simple. Only you can figure that out.

 

[xsited1]

do you guys keep your sanity? Only been on this forum for a short time, my first time doing something like this. Already seen some posts which might be described as 'unusual', but also a few intelligent and lucid ones whether I agreed with them or not. But some are less than respectful, some outright angry and resentful, and some weird ones too. So, for those of you that've been here awhile, how did you manage it and remain rational?

Or have I made a rash assumption?

I was a bit shocked too when i first joined too, but you learn to deal with it. Other boards i came from were all about "respect" and "no flaming" and being "civil" that is not so much the case here.

Think of all of this as freedom of speech. If you want to be able to say what you want, in the fashion that suits you best, you have to allow others to do the same.

Wade in and enjoy yourself. After all if you are not enjoying yourself here what is the point?

I was also shocked when I came here for the same reasons you mentioned. The reason I stayed is because the freedom of speech bit. I've also been humbled because I have been out-trolled by several people here so it's a great learning environment for trolls-in-training like myself.

 

[Anachronism]

The two can be combined. My definition of a fulfilling life may be very similar to the definition of a proper one. I can live a good, proper life and it still be a fulfilling life.

If you can find a way to combine the two, great. I have not been able to find any way to do that in this time and place, thus the screenname that I post under.

No one that makes your life better, save this one friend? That's too bad.

It is what it is, Phoenix. I learned at a very early age that there were going to be very few people in my life that I would be able to trust or care for because of who and what I am, physically, emotionally, and philosophically. It's only in the last two years that I've found this one individual. I've had other friendships, but none have lasted. This one I think will, so long as neither of us are dumb about it.

I'm sure you can find some happiness/joy within but it might be a lot of work. Or it could be very simple. Only you can figure that out.

I do not have the time, the energy, the patience, or the personality for that sort of search. Especially being as much of a control freak as I am. Every time I think I've found something that might do it, it turns into dog crap in my hands; so I seldom even bother trying anymore.

 

[Phoenix]

I do not have the time, the energy, the patience, or the personality for that sort of search. Especially being as much of a control freak as I am. Every time I think I've found something that might do it, it turns into dog crap in my hands; so I seldom even bother trying anymore.

That could be a big part of the issue.

The people I know who try to control things the most tend to be the least happy. Because one can never control everyone and everything around them. Therefore, they become very unhappy. The ones I know tend to make the people around them unhappy too.

When we stop trying to be in control, we can have a wonderful sense of not having to be responsible for EVERYTHING we come in contact with. For me, it worked.

Obviously, I don't know you, your life, your issues or any of that, but perhaps you will find someday a bit of peace and joy. I wish you the best.

 

[Anachronism]

That could be a big part of the issue.

I'm sure that it is.

The people I know who try to control things the most tend to be the least happy. Because one can never control everyone and everything around them. Therefore, they become very unhappy. The ones I know tend to make the people around them unhappy too.

I know that concept very well. However, for people like me we know that without the control, our lives devolve into literally nothing. Therefore we avoid that which we cannot control and remove ourselves from those things which we find we cannot control.

As for making those around us unhappy as well.... Very True. That's why I'm being thrown out of my apartment at the end of this year. Though I'm not quite sure how my roommates will make ends meet without my portion of the rent; but that's not MY problem.

When we stop trying to be in control, we can have a wonderful sense of not having to be responsible for EVERYTHING we come in contact with. For me, it worked.

That sense of not being responsible would be VERY BAD for me. That sense of responsibility is the only thing that has kept me from doing many, many impolite, violent, and illegal things over the years.

Obviously, I don't know you, your life, your issues or any of that, but perhaps you will find someday a bit of peace and joy. I wish you the best.

Thank you for your kind words. I'm not sure it will ever happen, but the words are very kind anyway.

 

[MikeK]

do you guys keep your sanity? Only been on this forum for a short time, my first time doing something like this. Already seen some posts which might be described as 'unusual', but also a few intelligent and lucid ones whether I agreed with them or not. But some are less than respectful, some outright angry and resentful, and some weird ones too. So, for those of you that've been here awhile, how did you manage it and remain rational?

Or have I made a rash assumption?

Most of the truly offensive posts come from the same individuals (belligerent adolescents and adult fools). Once you know who they are you can put them on Ignore and their messages won't appear in your threads any longer. It effectively makes them go away.

Just go to USER CP, scroll down the left column to "Edit Ignore List," click on it, follow the prompts and your experience here will be enhanced.

 

[boedicca]

Two things....

#1. USE THE IGNORE FEATURE. I know it works great for me.

#2. It helps to be slightly "insane" or bombastic yourself to survive at a place like this. Milque toast posters tend to find themselves very annoyed at places like USMB

One would call that "works great" only if one's objective was to carry on a monologue.

 

[LumpyPostage]

Message board rants are easy if you don't take seriously the people who take themselves so seriously. It's also much funnier when they're ranting.

 

[Two Thumbs]

do you guys keep your sanity? Only been on this forum for a short time, my first time doing something like this. Already seen some posts which might be described as 'unusual', but also a few intelligent and lucid ones whether I agreed with them or not. But some are less than respectful, some outright angry and resentful, and some weird ones too. So, for those of you that've been here awhile, how did you manage it and remain rational?

Or have I made a rash assumption?

Links or it didn't happen.

 

[LumpyPostage]

http://www.usmessageboard.com/religion-and-ethics/163457-braise-wally.html

 

[Two Thumbs]

do you guys keep your sanity? Only been on this forum for a short time, my first time doing something like this. Already seen some posts which might be described as 'unusual', but also a few intelligent and lucid ones whether I agreed with them or not. But some are less than respectful, some outright angry and resentful, and some weird ones too. So, for those of you that've been here awhile, how did you manage it and remain rational?

Or have I made a rash assumption?

I remember, it was a bit bewildering.

Look for patterns.
When someone gets to being an ass and you don't like it, wonder off to another thread, there's hundreds. If you want you can pull up a very old thread, post something and get some laughs as people respond to 2-3 y/o posts.

I stayed in the politics section for a couple of months, just to get an idea of about everyone.

Be generous with your rep, you don't get to save it up.

As far as putting people on ignore. meh, I shun certain bloggers. Spot thier name, see thier avi or note a crazed posting style, and just scroll on over, maybe pausing to see if the stopped clock is right this time.

 

[LumpyPostage]

It's also a good idea to have a cocktail or two while posting.