How Does Your Church or Spiritual Community Handle Abuse?

[Sky Dancer]

but didnt he know all that when they got married? not in temple?

Many in all religions abuse their teachings in this manner, even the sitcom Seinfeld had an episode about it though less complex than this. It's a scapegoat, like the "devil", allowing an easy excuse to do something then evade responsibility for those actions.

It's the same in my community. The teachings on emptiness can be misused. That's why the view of emptiness is always supposed to be balanced by teachings on conduct, and why the higher teachings--such as the view--are supposed to be introduced after ethical conduct is stabilized.

The teachings on an 'equal kind regard' for all beings can be similarly misunderstood. It doesn't mean you are supposed to put the other person's happiness over your own, it means equal kind regard, including kindness for yourself. It means you don't stay in an abusive situation--out of some misguided idea of placing your abusive family members happiness over your own.

It's not a kindness to abusers to allow them to committ serious non-virtue. It's not like the abuser gets kicked out of the spiritual community--he or she does that on their own when they break their vows, and won't change their behavior.

The debate continues in our community. Obviously, when there are legal matters pressing, such as civil or criminal law, the law issue comes first.