House Bill 101

Discussion in 'Current Events' started by Mr. P, May 31, 2005.

  1. Mr. P
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    Mr. P Senior Member

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    If this wasn't so close to true, it would be really funny...



    No Child Left Behind

    In response to President Bush's Federal "No Child Left Behind Act"
    (NCLB), it is proposed that students will have to pass a test to be
    promoted to the next grade level. In the hope that this proposal will
    be uniformly adopted by all of the states, the new test will be called
    the Federal Arithmetic and Reading Test, or F.A.R.T.

    All students who cannot pass a FART in the second grade will be retested
    in Grades 3, 4, and 5 until they are capable of passing a FART with a
    score of 80%. If a student does not successfully pass a FART by grade 5,
    that student shall be placed in a separate English program known as the
    Special Mastery Elective for Learning Language, or S.M.E.L.L.

    If, with this increased SMELL program, the student still cannot pass the
    required FART test, he or she can still graduate to middle school by
    taking another one-semester course in Comprehensive Reading and
    Arithmetic Preparation, or C.R.A.P.

    If by age fourteen the student cannot FART, SMELL, or CRAP, he or she
    can earn promotion in an intensive one-week seminar known as the
    Preparatory Reading for Unprepared Nationally Exempted Students, or
    P.R.U.N.E.S.

    It is the opinion of the Department of Instruction for Public Schools
    (D.I.P.S.) that an intensive week of PRUNES will enable any student to
    FART, SMELL, or CRAP.

    This revised provision of the student component of the House Bill 101
    should help "clear the air" as part of the "No School Left Standing"
    Act.
     
  2. Bullypulpit
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    Bullypulpit Senior Member

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    :laugh:

    But yeah, it is too close to the truth to be anything more than a sick joke on the country. I'm sure students inChina, South Korea and elswhere are secretly thanking the Bush administration for helping wreck what was left of America's public schools.
     
  3. Mr. P
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    Mr. P Senior Member

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    Well, I think most would agree this trend has be going on for years, we can't blame Bush alone.
    On the other hand he hasn't done anything to change it, IMO.
     
  4. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    The American public education system has been attacked by so many factors that I think it would be impossible to accurately judge the effect that 'no Child left Behind' has had on it.
     
  5. no1tovote4
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    no1tovote4 VIP Member

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    Geez, I wonder if I could pass a FART if I needed to...

    :smoke:
     

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