Hope, Despair, and those who inspire it

[speederdoc]

If someone has EVER been sexually aroused by children (particularly 2 year olds! ) then they are ALWAYS going to be sexually aroused by children. There is no way to reform a pedophile. That is what they are, and will always be, as long as they live.

Our children will never be safe if people like that are allowed to go free. Ever.

 

[Nuc]

If someone has EVER been sexually aroused by children (particularly 2 year olds! ) then they are ALWAYS going to be sexually aroused by children. There is no way to reform a pedophile. That is what they are, and will always be, as long as they live.

Our children will never be safe if people like that are allowed to go free. Ever.

Unfortunately this is right more often than it's wrong.

 

[Nuc]

He is now. I've talked to him quite a bit since I found out, and he's penitent. I've seen many people over the years who say they're sorry, and most of them are only sorry they got caught. This guy was truly sorry. In fact, he started feeling remorseful before he got caught, but didn't seek help. I mean, do you think YOU could just walk up to a friend and say, "I'm into child porn and need help?"

Of course he's penitent now that he's locked up and doesn't have access to children anyway. It's easy to get over something you can't find. Maybe he'll have sex with adult males in prison and just fantasize about the kids. Eventually he'll get out of jail and then, sorry to say, you will be a sucker one more time. Bail. God takes good care of religious zealots who rape children. You don't have to.

 

[Hobbit]

If someone has EVER been sexually aroused by children (particularly 2 year olds! ) then they are ALWAYS going to be sexually aroused by children. There is no way to reform a pedophile. That is what they are, and will always be, as long as they live.

Our children will never be safe if people like that are allowed to go free. Ever.

I judge by actions, and if catholic priests (the good ones, not the ones that show up in the news) can remain celibate their entire lives voluntarily, then a person can learn to control their...desires.

I'm not going to try to convince you otherwise, but I think you're making a big mistake. I also think that any person that has ever had such a crime committed against their own children, or a child they know would feel exactly the same as I do. Until it happens to you....

Oh, I'm not forgetting this, if that's what you mean, but I'm not going to stop being his friend, either. Now that I know for sure, I'm going to be more wary and less trustful, and if he lives long enough to get out of prison, he's not going to meet my kids (which I'll probably have by then) until they're at least 18, probably not until they're 40 or so. I've learned exactly who he is now and will keep that in mind. He betrayed my trust once and will not easily do so again. Kicking him to the curb, however, would be cold and heartless. I'm making no pretenses, and he's not making a sucker out of me again, but he's still my friend. Now, you say I can't fully understand until a child I know is a victim, but on the other had, you can't fully understand until someone you know and love was the aggressor. It's easy to hate someone you never knew who hurt you deeply. It's not so easy to hate someone who has been your friend and has stuck by you through the hard times in the past, no matter what despicable things he has done.

Of course he's penitent now that he's locked up and doesn't have access to children anyway. It's easy to get over something you can't find. Maybe he'll have sex with adult males in prison and just fantasize about the kids. Eventually he'll get out of jail and then, sorry to say, you will be a sucker one more time. Bail. God takes good care of religious zealots who rape children. You don't have to.

I've seen both the 'sorry I did it' and the 'sorry I got caught' crowd, and taking into account how good he has been at fooling people before, I'd say that I'm 80% confident he's in the former group. I'm bigger on actions than words, and his actions have suggested true remorse rather than regret over being caught. I was there when he finally started talkingabout realizing that no, child porn wasn't just pictures and that there were real victims. He broke down a cried. Old habits may die hard, but I think he can kill this one and bury it in a very deep grave.

 

[Abbey Normal]

Hobbit, it's okay to be a friend to him now if your heart tells you to be, but when the time comes that he is out of prison, and you have children, do not ever leave them alone with him. Just don't take that chance.

 

[Zhukov]

What many have wrote here is correct. Pedophiles cannot reform.

Encourage your friend to have himself castrated. That may or may not work, but it's worth a shot. And it doesn't matter if he's penitent (doesn't matter in the real world I mean), because that has nothing whatsoever to do with whether or not he would do something again if given the chance. Typically what happens next is they abduct a child, rape said child as before, but take it a step further and now feel the need to murder the child.

I'm completely serious about the castration. If even after that he still feels urges to abuse children and he's to be let back out into the world, it would be better for everyone if he just killed himself.



Don't feel bad for being fooled. You saw the best in him, nothing really wrong with that. It's enough that once confronted with incrontrovertible evidence you accepted the truth of his nature.