Home Remedies

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Sandy73, Aug 6, 2004.

  1. Sandy73
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    Sandy73 Guest

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    HOME REMEDIES


    1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
    Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat
    and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly
    removed.

    2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
    vegetables by getting someone else to hold them
    while you chop away.

    3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the
    toilet se at by simply peeing in the sink.

    4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut
    yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing
    the pressure in your veins.

    5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
    will prevent you from rolling over and going back to
    sleep when you hit the snooze button.

    6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
    laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

    7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a
    hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.

    Sometimes we Just Need to Remember What The Rules of life
    really are...

    You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it
    doesn't move and! it should, use WD-40. If it moves
    and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

    The five most essential words for a healthy, vital
    relationship are "I apologize" and "You are right."

    Never pass up an opportunity to go potty.

    If you woke up breathing, Congratulations! You have
    another chance!

    And Finally... Be Really Good To Your Family and
    Friends..... You never know when you are going to need
    them to empty your bedpan!
     
  2. janeeng
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    janeeng Guest

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    Only you Sandy! :thup:
     
  3. Joz
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    Joz Senior Member

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    :rotflmao:

    Around here that's called Kentucky Chrome.
     
  4. Sandy73
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    Sandy73 Guest

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    :teeth:
     
  5. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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