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The characters in this movie should be arrested for loitering with intent to moan. Never have teenagers been in greater need of a jump-start. Granted some of them are more than 100 years old, but still: their charisma is by Madame Tussaud.
Yes, Edward (Robert Pattinson) is back in school, repeating the 12th grade for the 84th time. Bella sees him in the school parking lot, walking toward her in slow-motion, wearing one of those Edwardian Beatles jackets with a velvet collar, pregnant with his beauty. How white his skin, how red his lips. The decay of middle age may transform him into the Joker.
Edward and the other members of the Cullen vampire clan stand around a lot with glowering skulks. Long pauses interrupt longer ones. Listen up, lads! You may be immortal, but we've got a train to catch.
Edward leaves, because Bella was not meant to be with him. Although he's a vegetarian vampire, when she gets a paper cut at her birthday party one of his pals leaps on her like a shark on a tuna fish.
My wife is still going to make me take her to see it
The first movie was just so awful, and then I read the books thinking they may be better than the movies. I was wrong. Stephenie Meyer is by far one of the worst writers I've ever had the displeasure of reading. She does a good job of making you interested in the end result of the book's overall plot, but the drudgery you are forced to skim through to get to the end is unbearable.
The final book is literally a buildup to a big battle between the Cullen clan and the Volturri clan, and in the end, both sides walk away. It was such a fucking waste of 400 pages. I wanted to find this daft bitch and punch her in the throat.
The Twilight Saga is an extended metaphor for teen chastity, in which the punishment for being deflowered I will leave to your imagination.
Robert Pattinson had the luck to be cast as Edward, THAT'S why they love him. They loved Edward before Robert was even cast in the part.
But you are absolutely right about the acting talent in this franchise. Kristen Stewart is easy to appreciate in a film like Into the Wild or Adventureland. She is 100% WRONG for the part of Bella. In the fourth book, Bella is pregnant and gives birth to a vampire baby. Kristen will butcher the motherly role that was portrayed in the book.
Robert Pattinson had the luck to be cast as Edward, THAT'S why they love him. They loved Edward before Robert was even cast in the part.
But you are absolutely right about the acting talent in this franchise. Kristen Stewart is easy to appreciate in a film like Into the Wild or Adventureland. She is 100% WRONG for the part of Bella. In the fourth book, Bella is pregnant and gives birth to a vampire baby. Kristen will butcher the motherly role that was portrayed in the book.
Someone call the police. Edward's a Pedo.
It gets worse. The lore of the werewolves is that they "imprint" onto a mate, and they have no choice as to whom they imprint to. Jacob imprints on the baby the minute he sees it. It's fucking weird shit.
It gets worse. The lore of the werewolves is that they "imprint" onto a mate, and they have no choice as to whom they imprint to. Jacob imprints on the baby the minute he sees it. It's fucking weird shit.
So wait, she ends up fucking with Werewolf lore too? She should apologize to all of the people who brought those two characters to where they were for her to destroy them.
And so Jacob is technically a pedo too. No wonder she said she thought of this in her dream supposedly, it's batshit insane.
Did you actually read the books or use wikipedia?
What I don't get is how that last book won the Children's Book Award for Book of the Year. Seriously, a childbirth scene and other fucked up shit and that's a kids book?
