Here's how to fix the Sequester

Discussion in 'Political Satire' started by hazlnut, Apr 27, 2013.

  1. hazlnut
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    hazlnut Gold Member

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    The Sequestration would have worked had there been more direct incentives for Senators and Congressmen to reach a budget compromise before Jan. 1.

    Proposed Amendments to the Sequestration Bill:

    1) On Tuesdays and Fridays, one member of congress is pushed from the top of the Capitol Dome.
    2) Capitol cafeteria only serves food leftover from D.C. public school lunches.
    3) The Capitol subway system is replaced with Pedicabs working for tips.
    4) The CCTV system is discontinued.
    5) Capitol police force furloughed, replaced with mall cops.
    6) Congressional health care plan is discontinued in favor of D.C. free clinics.
    7) Pensions are siphoned off daily until budget compromise is achieved. That includes pensions of retired members.

    Amendments to Revenue Raising Measures:

    1) Senators and Congressmen are required to pay a fee when they appear on television, issue a press release, write an op-ed, miss a vote or a committee meeting.
    2) All donations to campaign funds are taxed.
    3) Congressmen sleeping in their offices pay rent.
    4) Office space on K Street is taxed per square foot, paid by occupant.
    5) A "per Plate" fee charged at any fundraiser raising money for a campaign "war chest" -- fee to be based on the total weight in lbs. of guests attending the fundraiser. Guests to be weighted only after desert.
    6) Lobbyists are charged like checked luggage on airlines - $500 for first visit, $1000 for second visit, $10,000 for 3rd visit in a calendar year. Meetings with Senators and Congressmen outside the Capitol building or their official D.C. offices are double.

    **All of the above fees and taxes are collected by the Treasury and go directly to the FBI's corruption and fraud divisions and the D.C. vice squad.
     
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  2. Dugdale_Jukes
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    Dugdale_Jukes Senior Member

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    I'd give a year of every nutball in America's life to see that done.

    Thanks!
     
  3. Grandma
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    Grandma Geezer Chick Supporting Member

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    Sequester Amendment 1 won't work. The Dome is in the center, they'll just land on the roof, which will eventually require repairs. Instead, they should be made to telemarket their political donors for donations that will go towards balancing the budget.

    Otherwise, I LOVE it!:clap2:
     

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