Here are some rules, have you tried "friends with benefits?"

Stainmaster

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Apr 15, 2010
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Occasionally, you'll meet a woman you have a lot of chemistry with, but for some reason, you don't want to commit to her. So you remain friends with the woman, while still being intimate with each other.

It can become a problem though, if the woman is insistent upon turning it into more than that. You don't want to be pulled into a relationship. To prevent this, you need to lay some ground rules.

Here are some tips for keeping the "Friends With Benefits" alive and well, for as long as possible.

1. No spending the night.

Letting her spend the night, or spending the night at her place sends the wrong message! It communicates a desire to settle down. If you can, keep the encounters at her place, and then leave. It's much nicer than kicking her out of your place.

2. Keep cuddling to a minimum!

Doing a lot of intimate stuff is going to create an emotional desire for more. Avoid this! You want to keep things physical rather than emotional. Fifteen minutes of cuddling is the max I would recommend. But displays of affection is generally discouraged.

3. Do not enter into a "Friends With Benefits" arrangement while drunk.

There's a difference between a one-night stand and a friend with benefits. But entering either drunk is not wise. God forbid there's a beer-goggles situation. You don't want to go to bed with a supermodel and wake up with a dog, do you? Besides, don't you want to be sober enough to remember all the marvelous fun you had the night before?

4. No leave-behinds!

Do not allow the girl to leave any of her stuff at your place! No toothbrushes, no clothes - nothing! There should be no ties at all. Believe me, women WILL try and do this if they're over enough times, just for "convenience." But it's really a doorway into moving more and more things in, until she's effectively attached herself to you.

5. Don't discuss anything real.

Remember, we're trying to avoid intimacy here, and nothing creates intimacy like talking about important things. No family history, no favorite colors, no goals, no personal triumphs or tragedies. If you want to keep it a friends with benefits situation, you have to stay light: movies, bands, and favorite brands of booze.

6. Pet names aren't allowed.

No sweetie, honey, schmoopie allowed. Once you start with the nick names, a sense of ownership is implied. Don't even call her "babe." Keep it to her name only, because once you start with the terms of endearment, she's going to get the wrong idea.

7. No dinners, no movies, no "quality time" of any sort.

If she insists on going out at all, meet her at a bar for drinks no earlier than ten o'clock at night. The hour between nine and ten is the gray zone between when a real date starts and when it's just a hook-up. Going out late means you don't have to go through the effort of buying her dinner and talking, you just want to get to the good stuff.

8. Hide all evidence of your arrangement.

Throw out all condom wrappers (although you should no matter what), change your sheets, and don't get any hickeys, bruises, bites, or scratches if you expect to date anyone else any time soon.

9. Always play it safe!

You do not want a pregnancy. So always, always, ALWAYS use condoms and birth control when playing with your friend with benefits!

And more importantly, be sure to properly dispose of the condoms after you're done! Flush 'em down that toilet to make sure there's no possibility of "leakage."

10. Pee with the door closed.

Even if you are using each other for cheap thrills, doesn't mean you should act indecent.

These rules probably sound harsh, but if it's too much, then having a friend with benefits is probably not for you. Many people can get it on and not feel any attachment. Most can't though, and it's a rough game that not everyone can play. Just figure out what you are willing to do and go from there.

Joseph Matthews has been instructing men how to meet women since 2004, and is widely known as an authority in the subject of confidence building and dating advice. If you want to discover more about how to meet women, check out his free newsletter.

http://ezinearticles.com/?10-Rules-For-Being-Friends-With-Benefits&id=2397126


friends-with-benefits1.jpg
 
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Sounds like a Seinfeld episode...

JERRY
Now here's another little rule. When
we see each other now, we retire to
our separate quarters. But sometimes,
when people get involved with that,
they feel pressure to sleep over. When
that is not really sleep. Sleep is separate
from that. And I don't see why sleep
got all tied up and connected with that.

ELAINE
Okay, okay. Spending the night is optional!


JERRY
Well now we're gettin' somewhere.
 
Wow. Rules to decieve yourself and your partner with while using her for your own personal gratification.

And you wonder why women have a low opinion of men nowadays.
 
11. But always remember that a woman is not just a piece of meat.


btw, this probably should've gone in the Health & Relationship forum, right?
 
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Wow. Rules to decieve yourself and your partner with while using her for your own personal gratification.

And you wonder why women have a low opinion of men nowadays.

Women have long had a low opinion of us men. At least this "friends with benefits" is straight forward and honest about sex. I am just waiting for the self-appointed prudes to get here. It gives them a chance to see me shirtless!
 
Wow. Rules to decieve yourself and your partner with while using her for your own personal gratification.

And you wonder why women have a low opinion of men nowadays.

Why do you suppose these are not "Rules to decieve yourself and your partner with while using HIM for your own personal gratification."

IMHO FWB is a Female Contrivance, not something Men Invented.
 
Wow. Rules to decieve yourself and your partner with while using her for your own personal gratification.

And you wonder why women have a low opinion of men nowadays.

Some women don't like commitment either. ;)
I have had a few friends with benefits. My friend and I tried it for awhile, and it was probably the best relationship I ever had. We had rules we followed, we had a time limit, and we even have hooked up since. He is still one of my best friends, and I still think he is a great guy.
We were young, and didn't want to be attached. We also didn't want to sleep around, so it worked out great.
 
with some of those rules, how were they ever friends to begin with? And where's the benefit?
I agree with Silky though, nice placement.
 
Wow. Rules to decieve yourself and your partner with while using her for your own personal gratification.

And you wonder why women have a low opinion of men nowadays.

Women have long had a low opinion of us men. At least this "friends with benefits" is straight forward and honest about sex. I am just waiting for the self-appointed prudes to get here. It gives them a chance to see me shirtless!

And tell you to go fuck yourself in the process.:eusa_angel:
 
I don't know about your list. I have a better way to prevent an unwanted attachment. If things start to go in a direction that you don't want, say something like, "I'd really like to see you tonight but my herpes is roaring it's ugly head again and I feel like just staying home." This has worked well for me in the past. More often than not, the girl seems to find other interests when I call back and then seems to get too busy to go out.
 
Wow. Rules to decieve yourself and your partner with while using her for your own personal gratification.

And you wonder why women have a low opinion of men nowadays.

Women have long had a low opinion of us men. At least this "friends with benefits" is straight forward and honest about sex. I am just waiting for the self-appointed prudes to get here. It gives them a chance to see me shirtless!

And tell you to go fuck yourself in the process.:eusa_angel:

This is the kind of post that scares me. If mudwhistle is a parent, his kids are going to be burried in therapy bills.
With my luck they'll buy the house next door.

Psychotherapy-002.jpg
 
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Wow. Rules to decieve yourself and your partner with while using her for your own personal gratification.

And you wonder why women have a low opinion of men nowadays.

Women have long had a low opinion of us men. At least this "friends with benefits" is straight forward and honest about sex. I am just waiting for the self-appointed prudes to get here. It gives them a chance to see me shirtless!

There is nothing honest about pretending sex is meaningless. Nor is there anything honest about using people for your own gratification. You're lying to yourself and that kind of moral schizophrenia is going to destroy you.
 
Women have long had a low opinion of us men. At least this "friends with benefits" is straight forward and honest about sex. I am just waiting for the self-appointed prudes to get here. It gives them a chance to see me shirtless!

And tell you to go fuck yourself in the process.:eusa_angel:

This is the kind of post that scares me. If mudwhistle is a parent, his kids are going to be burried in therapy bills.
With my luck they'll buy the house next door.

Please, you honestly think you can use women and that's not going to effect your children?
 
Wow. Rules to decieve yourself and your partner with while using her for your own personal gratification.

And you wonder why women have a low opinion of men nowadays.

Well then, I guess the low feelings are mutual, eh?

[youtube]7lu81z2E6pE[/youtube]

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
That's the way, I like it
That's the way, I like it
That's the way, I like it
That's the way, I like it
 
Women have long had a low opinion of us men. At least this "friends with benefits" is straight forward and honest about sex. I am just waiting for the self-appointed prudes to get here. It gives them a chance to see me shirtless!

And tell you to go fuck yourself in the process.:eusa_angel:

This is the kind of post that scares me. If mudwhistle is a parent, his kids are going to be burried in therapy bills.
With my luck they'll buy the house next door.

Psychotherapy-002.jpg

I was giving you the highly probable reaction from any woman exposed to a vain and self-absorbed dude like yourself.

If I met a woman with your attitude...I'd broom her from my life.

Laying pipe is fine.....but telling everyone not to be nice or loving afterward is the stuff of an A number one asshole.
 
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And tell you to go fuck yourself in the process.:eusa_angel:

This is the kind of post that scares me. If mudwhistle is a parent, his kids are going to be burried in therapy bills.
With my luck they'll buy the house next door.

Please, you honestly think you can use women and that's not going to effect your children?

Now something new - amazing! I have not posted my thoughts about 'friends with benefits' because I don't have any. Not yet anyway. I respect women, and I am engaged to a feminist. She has expressed a postive attude on the subject of friends with benefits, but like myself has no experience. We are as interested as anyone else here to read posts.

In the past I have posted sexual questions, and ended up being blamed for the content of the thread as victorian prudes blew things out of perspective. This time place your blame on the writer of the article, Joseph Mathews.

victorian-sex-040210-main.jpg
 
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