Hell

[indago]

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. It was a bonus question: "Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?" Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyles Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it's compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets into Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

This student received the only "A" given.

 

[jillian]

That was actually very clever. heh...

I particularly liked the part about hell freezing over.

 

[RetiredGySgt]

Funny indeed, until one realizes Hell is earth since hell is ruled by Satan and Satan rules earth until Jesus Returns. But he would still be indirectly correct in that for a least a while now Earth will be warming and not freezing over......

 

[Shogun]

hell is earth? what?


anyone remember the hoax about a hole dug in siberia where voices from hell could be heard? Man, I bet that freaked the hell evil out of some people.

 

[RetiredGySgt]

hell is earth? what?


anyone remember the hoax about a hole dug in siberia where voices from hell could be heard? Man, I bet that freaked the hell evil out of some people.

Prove me wrong.... find a quote in the bible about there being a separate place that evil people go to when they die. You can find passages that Satan was cast down with his Angels to Earth. Further you can find passages where God gave dominion of Earth to Satan until the End of times.

What you WILL find is that when someone dies, good, bad indifferent, they go back to the Earth and the only promise made is that those that were not evil will be resurrected when Jesus returns.

Can Satan keep his minions alive? Wouldn't doubt it a bit. Though I suspect few if any ever rate that and again they will be utterly destroyed upon the finish of the End Times.

But hey this is a joke thread. lets quit hijacking it. My first post was kinda funny ).

 

[midcan5]

http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

 

[AllieBaba]

THe original post is indicative of a student who is relieved about the question because he was busy partying and didn't actually study the material.

Probably took about 2 minutes to pen it off.

 

[hjmick]

http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/hell.asp

I love Snopes.

 

[Alucard]

Funny indeed, until one realizes Hell is earth since hell is ruled by Satan and Satan rules earth until Jesus Returns. But he would still be indirectly correct in that for a least a while now Earth will be warming and not freezing over......

You really gotta get out of that cult your mixed up in.... YIKES

 

[RetiredGySgt]

You really gotta get out of that cult your mixed up in.... YIKES

Really, Where is that bible passage about hell? Refute what I said with the bible if you can.

 

[Alucard]

Really, Where is that bible passage about hell? Refute what I said with the bible if you can.

Why bother...I would rather see pompus assholes like you take the wrong road....

Smile and wave boys....smile and wave!

 

[Shogun]

Another great example of christianity's finest!


I bet the new blood just comes a flockin' to your church door, vaginacard..