Hell Explained by Chemistry Student.

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Terry, Feb 27, 2010.

  1. Terry
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    Terry Shut the $%$ Up!

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    Ok some might have already seen this but it was so good I had to post it.


    HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT


    The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
    chemistry mid term.

    The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
    with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
    pleasure of enjoying it as well :


    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
    heat)?

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
    cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

    One student, however, wrote the following:
    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
    to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
    they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
    Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
    souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in
    the world today.

    Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
    religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
    religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
    project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are,
    we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we
    look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states
    that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the
    volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. < /P>

    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
    Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
    breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
    then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
    that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into
    account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be
    true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
    over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
    follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
    extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
    being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."


    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
     
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  2. JW Frogen
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    JW Frogen Gold Member

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    As one who has done shore patrol I know Hell.

    Hell is a drunk Marine jilted in love.
     
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    Last edited: Feb 27, 2010
  3. sboyle24
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    sboyle24 Tired of fatties

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    Oh my fellow washingtonians...
     
  4. Oddball
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    Oddball BANNED Supporting Member

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    Me ...want...jink...wit...JW!...:)
     

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