Hehehehehe...Golf anyone?

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Mr. P, Oct 20, 2005.

  1. Mr. P
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    Mr. P Senior Member

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    Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local
    golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind
    if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."

    "Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed
    the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of
    the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"

    "I'm a hit man," was the reply. "You're joking!" was the response.

    "No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a
    beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my
    tools."

    "That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a
    look? I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up
    the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.

    "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see
    right in the window. Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can
    see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbour in there with her. He's
    naked, too!!! The bitch!"

    He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?

    "I'll do a flat rate for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the
    trigger."

    "Can you do two for me now?"

    "Sure, what do you want?"

    "First, shoot my wife, but don't kill her, she's always been mouthy, so
    shoot her in the mouth. Then the neighbor, he was a friend of mine, but
    don't kill him either, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson."

    The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few
    minutes.

    "Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.

    "Just be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a grand
    here..."
     

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