havaing a bad day

Discussion in 'Humor' started by manu1959, Feb 17, 2005.

  1. manu1959

    manu1959 Left Coast Isolationist

    Oct 28, 2004
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    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
    it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
    someone you don't know.

    I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to

    I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."
    I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robin

    Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that
    anyone could be so rude.

    I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed
    the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I
    decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

    When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an A**hole!" and
    hung up.

    I wrote his number down with the word 'A**hole' next to it, and put it
    in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had
    a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an A**hole!" It
    always cheered me up.

    When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'A**hole'
    calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this
    is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're
    familiar with our Caller ID Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed down
    the phone.

    I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an A**hole!"

    One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
    Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
    patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting
    for that spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his
    car window, so I wrote down his number.

    A couple of days later, right after calling the first A**hole (I had his
    number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW A**hole,

    I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
    "Yes, it is."
    "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
    "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the
    car's parked right out in front."
    "What's your name?" I asked.
    "My name is Don Hansen," he said.
    "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
    "I'm home every evening after five."
    "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
    "Don, you're an A**hole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my
    speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two A**holes to call.

    But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it
    used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called A**hole #1.

    "You're an A**hole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
    "Are you still there?" he asked.
    "Yeah," I said.
    "Stop calling me," he screamed.
    "Make me," I said.
    "Who are you?" he asked.
    "My name is Don Hansen."
    "Yeah? Where do you live?"
    "A**hole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black
    Beamer parked in front."

    He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
    saying your prayers."
    I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, A**hole."

    Then I called A**hole #2. "Hello?" he said.
    "Hello, A**hole," I said.
    He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
    "You'll what?" I said.
    "I'll kick your A**," he exclaimed.
    I answered, "Well, A**hole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right

    Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
    1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my
    gay lover.

    Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th

    I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street. There I saw
    two A**holes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad
    cars, a police helicopter and a news crew.

    NOW I feel much better. Anger management really works.

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