Haggar/Cyclonus: Capitalism Doctorate

Abishai100

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Sep 22, 2013
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This is a modernism vignette about Cyclonus (fictional wolfish A.I. robot from Hasbro's Transformers) and Haggar (fictional evil-witch from fantasy-adventure cartoon series Toei Animation's Voltron) involving capitalism paranoia.

This vignette was inspired by Alien: Covenant and Ruthless People.


Cheers,



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As the global warming disaster took a grip over Earth, the evil witch Haggar ascended from the underworld and the diabolical alien-robot Cyclonus arrived from the evil planet Cybertron to exploit humanity's newfound vulnerabilities. America was 'TrumpUSA,' but there was much angst and street-protests, since commerce-focus was yielding many forms of socio-political corruption. Haggar and Cyclonus wanted to take advantage of these weaknesses to establish a new dark dominion on Earth, but the two evildoers realized they were ironically competing with each other(!).

HAGGAR: Why are you here?
CYCLONUS: I'm here to create terrorism...
HAGGAR: Well, I want a new fascist republic based in Europe!
CYCLONUS: You will lose; Europeans are weak.
HAGGAR: Terrorism is temporary and won't yield a permanent state.
CYCLONUS: I plan to use capitalism to create power-realms.
HAGGAR: You're a robot and hence vulnerable to sociology.
CYCLONUS: You're a witch and hence sensitive to religion.
HAGGAR: Have you seen this new sci-fi horror film Alien: Covenant?
CYCLONUS: Yes, and it's intriguing; it explores exploration-paranoia.
HAGGAR: Very symbolic for modern-America, no?
CYCLONUS: Surely. Wall Street is a river of sharks I'd say!
HAGGAR: Well, we both can't reign on Earth, and we disagree too.
CYCLONUS: Perhaps I'll let you 'rule' here, and I'll try another planet.
HAGGAR: I'm sure the planet you'll find will be equally 'stifled.'
CYCLONUS: I anticipate another capitalism-frailty...

Haggar was relieved Cyclonus was departing, since she knew she'd never be able to compel him to compromise so he'd conform to her plans for a dark dominion on Earth. Cyclonus left, and Haggar proceeded to infiltrate the White House and begin corrupting U.S. President Donald Trump and U.S. First Lady Melania Trump. Haggar invaded Donald's dreams while he slept and whispered into his mind, "Make sure the European Union initiates some kind of commerce-war with North Korea!" When President Trump awoke, he ominously wondered to himself, "Is capitalism (by definition) a 'greed-system'?"

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