Guard/Sentinel: A Patriot-Tale for TrumpUSA

Abishai100

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Sep 22, 2013
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Here's a patriot-tale symbolic of the consumerism-rhetoric of our arguably commerce-biased 'TrumpUSA.'

Who would you think would fit the bill as Universal Guard (the fictional comic book adapted patriot-character created in this tale), and who would you regard as the Night Sentinel?

I'm beginning to fall in love with TrumpUSA, so here are my 'candidates':

GUARD: Tom Cruise
SENTINEL: Steve Jobs

GUARD: Michael Corleone
SENTINEL: Sonny Corleone

GUARD: Babe Ruth
SENTINEL: Stephen King

I wrote this optimistic 'tale,' because today's my birthday (June 13!), and I'm ironically feeling lucky. I'm especially giddy when my birthday does not fall on Friday the 13th.


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Steve Rogers, the valiant but meek American soldier, became Captain America after a careful strength-enhancement procedure performed on him by military scientists and took over the new federal curfew program known as Hydra. Captain America now went by the name Universal Guard. President Trump was very happy, since the curfew program encouraged Americans to sit at home comfortably at night and watch TV and observe all the consumerism-friendly product ads. Trump said, "If Hydra contributes to vital spending by consumers on special shopping-days such as Black Friday, then Universal Guard is truly our friend!"

Rogers' half-brother Damien Rogers came to town to find his long-lost brother Steve, only to discover that his little brother was now Universal Guard, head of America's consumerism-geared curfew program known as 'Hydra.' Damien himself was a vigilante and went by the name Night Sentinel, and he wanted to help Universal Guard determine the ethical parameters of Hydra and the non-fascist approach to pro-consumerism curfew policies. However, Universal Guard was very set in his ways and did not appreciate any kind of 'pushy advice' from Night Sentinel. This created a sort of 'cultural Civil War,' and those suspicious of 'federally-mandated curfews' joined Sentinel's side, while those who believed in consumerism greatly endorsed Guard.

Sentinel won the Civil War based on mass voting, but Guard won the Civil War based on overall motivation to create federalism organization programs, something that Sentinel was simply not studying. Guard explained to the American people that Sentinel would not become obsolete or excommunicated but would remain a part of the consumerism-culture that defined modern America and would work closely with the pro-capitalism Trump Administration to determine how to use liberal idealistic methods to promote continental commerce and promote consumerism-friendly programs in Canada and Mexico for the U.S. government. Sentinel gladly accepted the mission and went in search of his personal 'pro-populism' rhetoric.

Sentinel and Guard remained close and were considered very honorable and loyal brothers by the American people. Guard took some of Sentinel's advice that fascism and McCarthyism-esque policies must always be tempered by considerations about democratic rule by consent and laissez-faire law enforcement (an American value!). Sentinel began agreeing with Guard's insistence that federally-mandated supervision of American culture could guide the public towards a more productive and teamwork-oriented consumerism-friendly future, so Western critics would not say, "Americans are Starbucks-guzzling Facebook-hypnotized mindless shoppers!" Guard confessed to Sentinel that he considered having him assassinated during their terrible Civil War, and Sentinel confessed to Guard that he considered fleeing to Canada/Mexico and becoming a poet rather than assimilating into Guard's pro-consumerism and stern 'TrumpUSA' policies!

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