Green Activists Want a Ban On Soft Toilet Paper or May be time to stock up

Discussion in 'Current Events' started by Neotrotsky, Dec 19, 2009.

  1. Neotrotsky
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    Neotrotsky Council to Supreme Soviet

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    Green Activists Want a Ban On Soft Toilet Paper or May be time to stock up


    Kentucky.com reported:

    Greenpeace, the Natural Resources Defense Council and other environmental groups have pushed manufacturers such as Kimberly-Clark (Cottonelle) and Procter & Gamble (Charmin) to stop using wood from virgin forests to make tissue products.

    Mountains of paper are dumped every day into recycling bins in homes, offices, factories and schools. Use that to make toilet paper, the activists said.

    Time to roll off the big number: If each American family would buy one recycled roll just one time, it would save 400,000 trees, allegedly.

    The problem, though, is that each time paper is shredded during the recycling process, its fibers get shorter. The shorter the fiber, the less soft the tissue. And Americans, though indicating in surveys that they embraced green initiatives, also said they don’t want to sacrifice comfort.

    “The truth is that other parts of the world are further along in using recycled content,” said Kay Jackson, spokeswoman for Kimberly-Clark. “The American consumer still wants softness, and they are speaking with their pocketbooks.”

    Pulling back in a competitive market is asking a lot, manufacturers said. They also point out that only 5 percent of forest-industry production goes toward toilet paper.

    Darby Hoover, a senior resource specialist with the Natural Resources Defense Council, understands the pressure of customer demand but wonders: Do we really need toilet paper to be as soft as it can be, or do we need it just soft enough?

    Environmentalists said other countries — particularly in South America, Africa and Asia — seem to be OK with “soft enough
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    Comrades,

    Having dealt with shortages before in other Great Socialist societies,
    I strongly recommend that you stock up now on toilet paper.

    Coming off his recent "success" at Nopenhagen, Papa Obama may even be more driven to get us faster to a "green economy"

    Indeed, it was not too long ago that we found out about the toilet paper shortage in our fellow socialist country of Cuba:

    See: Cash-strapped Cuba says toilet paper running short



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------



    I have recently come upon a large supply of toilet paper through my "black market" connections with Democratic Senators who always seems to have an ample supply.
    I will gladly give out to people as needed. After all, "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need" is one of our primary dictates.

    My only request is that Fisters keep their request to a minimum; we want to have enough to go around for all.

    If interested then just email through this forum.

    Remember, if you really want to be "green" then only use one piece of toilet paper and flush once after using the toilet twice.



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  2. garyd
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    garyd Senior Member

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    Get your corn cobs right here. Fresh corn cobs for sale...
     
  3. Jeff9
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    Jeff9 Rookie

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    This covers all the bases = saves you money, helps the environment, helps your health, makes you feel better, it's so easy to do and it costs less than $50.00; Save money and the Earth and be clean at the same time! Add Bathroom Bidet Sprayers to all your bathrooms. I think Dr. Oz on Oprah said it best: "if you had pee or poop on your hand, you wouldn't wipe it off with paper, would you? You'd wash it off” Available at bathroomsprayers.com with these you won't even need toilet paper any more, just a towel to dry off! Don’t worry, you can still leave some out for guests and can even make it the soft stuff without feeling guilty. It's cheap and can be installed without a plumber; and runs off the same water line to your toilet. You'll probably pay for it in a few months of toilet paper savings. As for water use a drought is always a concern and must be dealt with prudently but remember the water use of industrial users far exceeds the water use of household users and in the case of toilet paper manufacture it is huge. The pollution and significant power use from that manufacturing process also contributes to global warming so switching to a hand bidet sprayer and lowering your toilet paper use is very green in multiple ways.
     
  4. Skull Pilot
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    Skull Pilot Platinum Member

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    We should just go back to using our hands to wipe.
     
  5. Neotrotsky
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    Neotrotsky Council to Supreme Soviet

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    Good Idea!

    Left hand or right?

    :eusa_angel:
     
  6. Neotrotsky
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    Neotrotsky Council to Supreme Soviet

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    I just don't know if Americans are ready for bidets

    Perhaps, the ONE could promote them


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  7. chanel
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    chanel Silver Member

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  8. Skull Pilot
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    I'm ambidextrous
     
  9. Neotrotsky
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    That is good comrade

    But, not all proletariats are this fortunate.

    In fact, what would we do for people who are missing appendages?

    Perhaps, we need a gov't program. After all, it is every person's right to a good wipe!

    In fact, it may be possible to extend the program of Official "ass wipers" we have in DC to all of the masses

    A socialized "ass wipe" program
    :eusa_whistle:
     

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