Great Comebacks

Discussion in 'Humor' started by USViking, May 1, 2005.

  1. USViking
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    USViking VIP Member

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    There are few things cooler than a great comeback.

    Anyone know any good ones?

    Here are a couple I always get get a chuckle over
    whenI think of them:

    1.
    Lady Astor to Winston Churchill (they were famous Parliamentary opponents):
    "If you were my husband I would poison your coffee"

    Churchill: "If you were my wife I would drink it."


    2.
    Winston Churchill to Lady Astor (during a debate on agricultural policy):
    "Why, I'll wager the Lady doesn't even know how many toes a pig has."

    Lady Astor: "You're right, I don't. Take off your shoes and socks so I can find out."
     
  2. Avatar4321
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    Avatar4321 Diamond Member Gold Supporting Member

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    My fav is a cruel one. when you ask someone out and they reject you:

    "You shouldn't be so picky. I wasn't"
     
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  3. USViking
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    The 18th century UK radical politician John Wilkes was once told by some peer: "You will die either on the gallows, or of the pox (ie STD)"

    Wilkes replied: "That depends on whether I embrace his lordship's principles, or his mistress."
     
  4. Hobbit
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    Hobbit Senior Member

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    The other night I was watching friends do a "Hans and Franz" act. It was so long that they had to read from a script. One of them tripped over a line (due to distance) and got heckled.

    "Yeah, see what those steroids did to your memory?"
    *thick "Hans and Franz" accent* "No, it is just that I cannot see zee script because my pectoral muscles are in zee way."
     

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