God Damned Red-Necks

[Sunni Man]

I grew up in the southwest.
Two seasons; hot and dry in the summer, bitter cold but no snow in the winter.
Few trees; you can see for miles in any direction.
And the wind is always blowing; straight south or back towards the north.
Our rednecks are called cowboys.
Love the SW plains...... ...

 

[mudwhistle]

You can't camp because of a little warm weather and a few mosquitos? Maybe you just need to stay home.

Oh, and I have traveled all over the US. Those redneck you denigrate are all over. Up north they just wear hats with flaps and plaid jackets.

But of the South is so bad, feel free to haul your ass back up north anytime.

Shhhh.....I almost got us a tourist!

I used to roll around in the woods and not think about it much while I was in the Army.
I've been in swamps and deserts....some of the harshest parts on the planet. But that was when I was young.
Now I'm 62 and I'm tired of it.

I hear ya. I went tent camping last summer and I have to admit, I would have preferred a cabin. But hey, the company was great, so I put up with the tree roots beneath my sleeping bag and feeling my way to the bathrooms at 3 a.m.

Army Cots are a magical thing....especially if they have a bug-nets.

 

[OldLady]

I've been living in the South for over 30 years, primarily because I've spent most of my life ether in the military, or working as a Department of Defense employee.

Most military posts are located in the worst shitholes in America and most of them are in the South. Who in their right mind wants to live in a hot place with over 79% humidity and is so tick infested you can't walk through your front yard without picking up an unwanted hitchhiker. Where I grew up the nights were so cool that you didn't need AC. All you had to do was open your window at night and you could sleep comfortably. Not in the South. If you open your windows you're gonna end up sweating your ass off. The South is practically the reason AC was invented. The air stinks. The water is green from algae, not blue like back home. If you ever wonder why there are so many fat people in the South you can blame AC. All the city people do here is sit in their air-conditioning and drive to some place to eat. That's the only thing they seem to want to do.....other than get drunk, get in a fight, and fuck.....not necessarily in that order.

Camping out in the South isn't like back home. Back home you needed a fire to stay warm, sometimes even in the Summer. Here in the South, I cannot fathom wanting to willingly go out and live in that sweltering bug invested craphole. Being outdoors during the Spring lets you know that you have allergies. There is so much pollen, mold, and mildew in the air it's difficult to breath.
Even the fireworks display on the 4th is a major pain in the ass. The only good thing is the sulfur in the air tends to chase the bugs away temporarily. It's still hot and sticky and miserable.
When it comes to the type of people that live here, you get all kinds. But the ones that stick out the most are those idiots that think a ball cap and a pair of overalls is high fashion. Folks that don't know one thing about politics, but they can tell you about cutting Tobacco, bailing Hay, or cutting the balls off of hogs.

Once a friend of mine at work and I where telling war stories among a bunch of the local yocals. We were talking about all of the foreign countries we had deployed to. This one kid was asked where he had been.....he said he'd been to Dover TN. That's a little town about 50 miles to the West of Clarksville. The only time a Red-neck wants to travel it seems is when it's going to the closest Corn-holing contest or a Squash festival or NASCAR race. And if you don't know who is leading in points on the NASCAR circuit they look at you like you're an idiot. Who gives a shit about a car race that essentially was an off-shoot for bootlegging. Red-necks do. I don't. I think it's just a major waste of fuel. Going in circles for 5 hours isn't a sport to me.....it's pure stupidity.

In the South it's not called a car....it's a VEE-HICLE.
In the South you don't step on the gas.....you mash the pedal.
In the South you don't drink a soda....you drink a coke or a sugar water.
In the South people practice Witchcraft.
In the South kids get a job at 16 and stay there until they turn old and gray.
In the South if you have a full set of teeth by the time you reach 30 that's a major accomplishment.
In the South most people chew Tobacco....even some of the women.
In the South....if you don't know what "ROLL TIDE" means then you're a damned Yankee.

​

Sounds like you need a couple of weeks at Acadia. C'mon down, Mudwhistle.

I'm just homesick.
I grew up in Montana.

I hear it's beautiful out there. But we got lobster.
You know you're from rural Maine when:

1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

2. "Vacation" means going to Bangor for the weekend.

3. You measure distance in hours.

4. You know several people who have hit moose more than once.

5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

6. You use a down comforter in the summer.

7. Your grandparents drive at 65 mph through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

8. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.

9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

10. You think of the major food groups as moose meat, beer, fish, and berries.

11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.

12. There are 4 empty cars running in the parking lot at the convenience store at any given time.

13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

15. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas.

16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter/winter/still winter/construction

Down here when snowflakes start falling the schools start closing.
Back home a foot of snow is just the start of the season. Snow tires are installed by Halloween. Chains by Thanksgiving.

To be honest, when I lived in upstate New York, on Lake Ontario, we got more snow and were more like Montanans than the folks in coastal Maine as far as winter closures. It is because our roads are so bad here and things are so spread out.

 

[OldLady]

I grew up in the southwest.
Two seasons; hot and dry in the summer, bitter cold but no snow in the winter.
Few trees; you can see for miles in any direction.
And the wind is always blowing; straight south or back towards the north.
Our rednecks are called cowboys.
Love the SW plains...... ...

I love being able to see for miles. Can't do that up here--too many trees everywhere. That's why I love the blueberry barrens. Closest you can come to an unobstructed view.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

Rednecks - The ony group in America that you can still mock and get away with it

Then be surprised that you are somehow losing votes.

 

[mudwhistle]

I've been living in the South for over 30 years, primarily because I've spent most of my life ether in the military, or working as a Department of Defense employee.

Most military posts are located in the worst shitholes in America and most of them are in the South. Who in their right mind wants to live in a hot place with over 79% humidity and is so tick infested you can't walk through your front yard without picking up an unwanted hitchhiker. Where I grew up the nights were so cool that you didn't need AC. All you had to do was open your window at night and you could sleep comfortably. Not in the South. If you open your windows you're gonna end up sweating your ass off. The South is practically the reason AC was invented. The air stinks. The water is green from algae, not blue like back home. If you ever wonder why there are so many fat people in the South you can blame AC. All the city people do here is sit in their air-conditioning and drive to some place to eat. That's the only thing they seem to want to do.....other than get drunk, get in a fight, and fuck.....not necessarily in that order.

Camping out in the South isn't like back home. Back home you needed a fire to stay warm, sometimes even in the Summer. Here in the South, I cannot fathom wanting to willingly go out and live in that sweltering bug invested craphole. Being outdoors during the Spring lets you know that you have allergies. There is so much pollen, mold, and mildew in the air it's difficult to breath.
Even the fireworks display on the 4th is a major pain in the ass. The only good thing is the sulfur in the air tends to chase the bugs away temporarily. It's still hot and sticky and miserable.
When it comes to the type of people that live here, you get all kinds. But the ones that stick out the most are those idiots that think a ball cap and a pair of overalls is high fashion. Folks that don't know one thing about politics, but they can tell you about cutting Tobacco, bailing Hay, or cutting the balls off of hogs.

Once a friend of mine at work and I where telling war stories among a bunch of the local yocals. We were talking about all of the foreign countries we had deployed to. This one kid was asked where he had been.....he said he'd been to Dover TN. That's a little town about 50 miles to the West of Clarksville. The only time a Red-neck wants to travel it seems is when it's going to the closest Corn-holing contest or a Squash festival or NASCAR race. And if you don't know who is leading in points on the NASCAR circuit they look at you like you're an idiot. Who gives a shit about a car race that essentially was an off-shoot for bootlegging. Red-necks do. I don't. I think it's just a major waste of fuel. Going in circles for 5 hours isn't a sport to me.....it's pure stupidity.

In the South it's not called a car....it's a VEE-HICLE.
In the South you don't step on the gas.....you mash the pedal.
In the South you don't drink a soda....you drink a coke or a sugar water.
In the South people practice Witchcraft.
In the South kids get a job at 16 and stay there until they turn old and gray.
In the South if you have a full set of teeth by the time you reach 30 that's a major accomplishment.
In the South most people chew Tobacco....even some of the women.
In the South....if you don't know what "ROLL TIDE" means then you're a damned Yankee.

​

You forgot add the food is terrible.
There is no indoor plumbing.
Crime is rampant ... Your chance of surviving the night is next to zero.
There is nothing to do but watch American Idol on a black and white television (they don't sell colored televisions here after desegregation).

To everyone else, Be Advised ...
If you're a damn Yankee ... Just stay where you are and don't even come for a visit ...

.​

Atlanta....or Hotlanta.

 

[mudwhistle]

Imagine if someone wanted to sue someone in Country music,.... because every GD song sounds exactly the same. They just change the words.

 

[mudwhistle]

I grew up in the southwest.
Two seasons; hot and dry in the summer, bitter cold but no snow in the winter.
Few trees; you can see for miles in any direction.
And the wind is always blowing; straight south or back towards the north.
Our rednecks are called cowboys.
Love the SW plains...... ...

Give me the Rocky Mountains any day.

 

[mudwhistle]

I've been living in the South for over 30 years, primarily because I've spent most of my life ether in the military, or working as a Department of Defense employee.

Most military posts are located in the worst shitholes in America and most of them are in the South. Who in their right mind wants to live in a hot place with over 79% humidity and is so tick infested you can't walk through your front yard without picking up an unwanted hitchhiker. Where I grew up the nights were so cool that you didn't need AC. All you had to do was open your window at night and you could sleep comfortably. Not in the South. If you open your windows you're gonna end up sweating your ass off. The South is practically the reason AC was invented. The air stinks. The water is green from algae, not blue like back home. If you ever wonder why there are so many fat people in the South you can blame AC. All the city people do here is sit in their air-conditioning and drive to some place to eat. That's the only thing they seem to want to do.....other than get drunk, get in a fight, and fuck.....not necessarily in that order.

Camping out in the South isn't like back home. Back home you needed a fire to stay warm, sometimes even in the Summer. Here in the South, I cannot fathom wanting to willingly go out and live in that sweltering bug invested craphole. Being outdoors during the Spring lets you know that you have allergies. There is so much pollen, mold, and mildew in the air it's difficult to breath.
Even the fireworks display on the 4th is a major pain in the ass. The only good thing is the sulfur in the air tends to chase the bugs away temporarily. It's still hot and sticky and miserable.
When it comes to the type of people that live here, you get all kinds. But the ones that stick out the most are those idiots that think a ball cap and a pair of overalls is high fashion. Folks that don't know one thing about politics, but they can tell you about cutting Tobacco, bailing Hay, or cutting the balls off of hogs.

Once a friend of mine at work and I where telling war stories among a bunch of the local yocals. We were talking about all of the foreign countries we had deployed to. This one kid was asked where he had been.....he said he'd been to Dover TN. That's a little town about 50 miles to the West of Clarksville. The only time a Red-neck wants to travel it seems is when it's going to the closest Corn-holing contest or a Squash festival or NASCAR race. And if you don't know who is leading in points on the NASCAR circuit they look at you like you're an idiot. Who gives a shit about a car race that essentially was an off-shoot for bootlegging. Red-necks do. I don't. I think it's just a major waste of fuel. Going in circles for 5 hours isn't a sport to me.....it's pure stupidity.

In the South it's not called a car....it's a VEE-HICLE.
In the South you don't step on the gas.....you mash the pedal.
In the South you don't drink a soda....you drink a coke or a sugar water.
In the South people practice Witchcraft.
In the South kids get a job at 16 and stay there until they turn old and gray.
In the South if you have a full set of teeth by the time you reach 30 that's a major accomplishment.
In the South most people chew Tobacco....even some of the women.
In the South....if you don't know what "ROLL TIDE" means then you're a damned Yankee.

​

Sounds like you need a couple of weeks at Acadia. C'mon down, Mudwhistle.

I'm just homesick.
I grew up in Montana.

I hear it's beautiful out there. But we got lobster.
You know you're from rural Maine when:

1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

2. "Vacation" means going to Bangor for the weekend.

3. You measure distance in hours.

4. You know several people who have hit moose more than once.

5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

6. You use a down comforter in the summer.

7. Your grandparents drive at 65 mph through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

8. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.

9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

10. You think of the major food groups as moose meat, beer, fish, and berries.

11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.

12. There are 4 empty cars running in the parking lot at the convenience store at any given time.

13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

15. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas.

16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter/winter/still winter/construction

Down here when snowflakes start falling the schools start closing.
Back home a foot of snow is just the start of the season. Snow tires are installed by Halloween. Chains by Thanksgiving.

To be honest, when I lived in upstate New York, on Lake Ontario, we got more snow and were more like Montanans than the folks in coastal Maine as far as winter closures. It is because our roads are so bad here and things are so spread out.

You can tell when you are in Montana because of all of the potholes.

 

[BlackSand]

Atlanta....or Hotlanta.

Worse ... Louisiana.

I would discuss it more ... But I was putting on my extra small tube top when it got stuck around my arms and head.
I don't have a chin or any teeth to help get it unstuck ... And typing is pretty hard at the moment.

Guess I'm gonna have to just leave the snakes and gator in the Wal-Mart special kiddie pool out back

.​

 

[boedicca]

Besides family being here, the big reason I am still in the SF Bay Area is the weather. Low humidity, no swarms of mosquitos, no gray piles of hideous snow. Oaklandtown in particular is blessed with fresh air coming in from the GoldenGate. Not too cold, not too hot. Today is particularly glorious.

 

[mudwhistle]

Besides family being here, the big reason I am still in the SF Bay Area is the weather. Low humidity, no swarms of mosquitos, no gray piles of hideous snow. Oaklandtown in particular is blessed with fresh air coming in from the GoldenGate. Not too cold, not too hot. Today is particularly glorious.

So the piles of feces and piles of needles doesn't bother you??

 

[boedicca]

Besides family being here, the big reason I am still in the SF Bay Area is the weather. Low humidity, no swarms of mosquitos, no gray piles of hideous snow. Oaklandtown in particular is blessed with fresh air coming in from the GoldenGate. Not too cold, not too hot. Today is particularly glorious.

So the piles of feces and piles of needles doesn't bother you??

Easy to avoid. I try to limit going to SF; the Oaklantown tent cities are largely clustered under freeway overpasses in areas of town I do not frequent.

I don't like it. mr. boe and I are starting to plan our migration out of CA. But it's difficult to identify a place to go. I can't stand extreme heat or piles of snow, so the choices are limited. We'll be out of here within 3-4 years. That's the definite part.

 

[mudwhistle]

Atlanta....or Hotlanta.

Worse ... Louisiana.

I would discuss it more ... But I was putting on my extra small tube top when it got stuck around my arms and head.
I don't have a chin or any teeth to help get it unstuck ... And typing is pretty hard at the moment.

Guess I'm gonna have to just leave the snakes and gator in the Wal-Mart special kiddie pool out back

.​

I've never had that issue before....not because I don't wear tube-tops....but because I have a chin and plenty of teeth.

 

[mudwhistle]

Besides family being here, the big reason I am still in the SF Bay Area is the weather. Low humidity, no swarms of mosquitos, no gray piles of hideous snow. Oaklandtown in particular is blessed with fresh air coming in from the GoldenGate. Not too cold, not too hot. Today is particularly glorious.

So the piles of feces and piles of needles doesn't bother you??

Easy to avoid. I try to limit going to SF; the Oaklantown tent cities are largely clustered under freeway overpasses in areas of town I do not frequent.

I don't like it. mr. boe and I are starting to plan our migration out of CA. But it's difficult to identify a place to go. I can't stand extreme heat or piles of snow, so the choices are limited. We'll be out of here within 3-4 years. That's the definite part.

Most people say that Colorado Springs is like L.A. without all of the smog and steaming piles.
You just have to get used to the altitude.

 

[eagle1462010]

 

[Flash]

I have seen as many "rednecks" up north as I have seen in the South.

There is always a cure for a stupid Yankee not liking the South. All they have to do is get on their bicycle and start peddling northward.

 

[eagle1462010]

People come here to work from Hot DRY climates........They always say hell this place isn't hot ................they are the first to fold when the Humidity smacks them in the face......................Within days they are how the hell do you deal with shit..............

Wonder why the SEC kicks ass every year....try training, working and living in this Sauna....

 

[mudwhistle]

People come here to work from Hot DRY climates........They always say hell this place isn't hot ................they are the first to fold when the Humidity smacks them in the face......................Within days they are how the hell do you deal with shit..............

Wonder why the SEC kicks ass every year....try training, working and living in this Sauna....

Yep.....this weather kicks everyone's ass.

 

[eagle1462010]

People come here to work from Hot DRY climates........They always say hell this place isn't hot ................they are the first to fold when the Humidity smacks them in the face......................Within days they are how the hell do you deal with shit..............

Wonder why the SEC kicks ass every year....try training, working and living in this Sauna....

Yep.....this weather kicks everyone's ass.

Yes it is brutal................The Gnats at the morning meeting at work keeps everyone swatting...........and you gotta drink a lot of water during the day because you sweat your balls off. LOL

Yep.....it's brutal and as we get older it's harder to deal with. You have a point.