Hello, everybody. This is George Costanza, reporting from Atlanta, GA, where I am about to listen to the Republican candidates debate. I am standing among the crowd, waiting for the actual debate to start. A number of the participants are working the room as I speak and . . . wait a minute . . . I think I am going to be able to . . . Senator Santorum! Do you have a moment, sir? My listeners would love to hear a word from you. Sen. Santorum: Of course, George. Glad to oblige. GC: Excellent. So, tell me, Senator - I understand that you have some information about Governor Perrys handling of the immigration problem in Texas. Sen. Santorum: Yes, I do, George. Glad you asked. Did you know, George, that Governor Perry has provided in-state tuition for illegal immigrants? GC: I didnt know that, Senator. Why do you think he did that? Sen. Santorum: Maybe that was an attempt to attract the illegal vote - I mean, the Latino voters? GC: Excuse me, Senator? I guess the Senator had to rush off. Well, lets see if we can find anyone else . . . ah, yes - Governor Perry! Do you have a moment, sir? Governor Perry: Hello, George! How the hell are ya? GC: Just fine, sir. Let me ask you, are you going to unveil any new plans for how you would run the country in tonights debate? Gov. Perry: Yes, I am, George. So glad you asked. Of course, I cant give anything away yet, but lets just say that I am going to propose a three-part plan that is going to knock this countrys socks off! Yes sir, in an effort to save money and reduce federal spending, I am going to eliminate three very well known, federal departments. Did I say three? Yes, thats right. Three. Or maybe just two. I would name them for you if I could think of them. Hopefully, I can bring them to mind before the debate starts. GC: I see. Well, thank you sir. Hmmmm . . . oh, look, its Newt Gingrich. And who is that young woman with him? Must be his granddaughter. Oh, Mr. Speaker . . . do you have a moment? Newt: Sure do, George. Good to see yall. GC: Good to see you, Mr. Speaker. May I ask, sir, what is that you have there? Newt: These three luggage bags and the four duffle bags? I like to call all of these my baggage, George. I carry it with me everywhere I go. Pretty spiffy, huh? GC: Yes, it is, sir. And you certainly appear to have a lot of it. Will you be carrying it with you into the 2012 campaign? Newt: Sure will, George. Dont have much choice, if you know what I mean. (chuckling) Here you go, Valerie. Why dont you run over to Nordstroms and get yourself a little something nice to wear at beddy-time while I run through this debate. GC: Who is that, sir? Newt: (winking) My personal secretary, George. Goes with me everywhere. Isnt she a doll? GC: Hmmmmm . . . yes, sir. Well good luck tonight. We have time for one more interview and . . . yes . . . Ms. Bachman! Do you have a second or two to share with my listeners? Michelle: Of course, George. So nice to see you tonight. GC: Well, its nice to see you too. Tell me, Ms. Bachman, how would you classify yourself in this race? Michelle: Well, George, I am a candidate with spirit - the spirit that has made this country great. Did you know I am from Waterloo, Iowa. A great little town in the Center of this Great Country! Did you know that JOHN WAYNE was from Waterloo also? Thats the kind of spirit I have too - just like him! GC: Um . . . I dont think John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa, Ms. Bachman. John Wayne GACY was from Waterloo, Iowa. You were aware of that, right? John Wayne Gacy, the serial killer? Michelle: Oh, excuse me, George, I have to run. They are doing a Sarah Palin look-alike contest over there and I wanted to get into it before the debate actually begins. Ta, ta for now! GC: Well, thats about all the time we have for tonight. Sorry I couldnt interview Ron Paul but, then, no one interviews Ron Paul. Until next time, this is George Costanza signing off from the Republican debate in Atlanta, Georgia. Good night everybody.