Gay Marriage

[Powerman]

I found this on another forum that I post on

I can't take credit for this but I thought it was pretty funny.

This is from my buddy [Sophandros] from www.tigerdroppings.com

I have to give credit where credit is due. Can't be plagiarising.


Ten Reasons to Oppose Gay marriage:

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

 

[The ClayTaurus]

I found this on another forum that I post on

I can't take credit for this but I thought it was pretty funny.

This is from my buddy [Sophandros] from www.tigerdroppings.com

I have to give credit where credit is due. Can't be plagiarising.


Ten Reasons to Oppose Gay marriage:

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Was this an opinion piece, or a comedic piece? As an opinion piece, it's quite comedic.

 

[Powerman]

Was this an opinion piece, or a comedic piece? As an opinion piece, it's quite comedic.

I'm guessing it's a bit of both. Obviously the guy is for gay Marriage but it was intended to be funny I believe. He does have some valid points though.

 

[The ClayTaurus]

I'm guessing it's a bit of both. Obviously the guy is for gay Marriage but it was intended to be funny I believe. He does have some valid points though.

A couple. Some of them are quite the stretch. Methinks he should have made a top 5 list.

 

[Powerman]

A couple. Some of them are quite the stretch. Methinks he should have made a top 5 list.

Yeah. People always strive for 10 for some reason. But some of the points are valid to the typical arguments against homosexual marriage.

 

[dmp]

moved to Humor forum.

 

[Powerman]

Why do I have the funny suspicion that this got moved to the humor forum because some very valid points were brought up and this wanted to be swept under the rug?

 

[dmp]

Why do I have the funny suspicion that this got moved to the humor forum because some very valid points were brought up and this wanted to be swept under the rug?

Maybe you're paranoid? Seriously, I honestly doubt anyone can see anything you posted as 'valid points'.


You're too much, Kidder McKidding.

 

[Powerman]

Maybe you're paranoid? Seriously, I honestly doubt anyone can see anything you posted as 'valid points'.


You're too much, Kidder McKidding.

LOL well whatever....but that new avatar you have is kinda pissing off...


And you have to admit the author had some decent arguments with the whole gay marriage thing.

 

[KarlMarx]

LOL well whatever....but that new avatar you have is kinda pissing off...


And you have to admit the author had some decent arguments with the whole gay marriage thing.

PM --- if gay marriage is a noble cause, like the abolition of slavery and the women's suffrage let me suggest this. Do the same thing that the abolitionists and the suffragists did. Instead of getting a group of justices to legislate it from the bench, start a group to petition Congress to add an amendment to the Consitution. If 2/3 of the states ratify it within the time prescribed by the Consitution, it's in. Otherwise, I'd wish those of you who favor it would quit trying to ram it down our throats.

P.S. and please don't bring up the subject of the Civil War. That was started because several states decided to cecede from the Union. The emancipation of slaves was an issue, but not the main reason the Civil War was fought.

P.P.S. yes, I know, my avatar bugs you, too. I'll take it down after New Year's ... next year, I think I may be "Charlie Brown"

 

[Zhukov]

you have to admit the author had some decent arguments with the whole gay marriage thing

No I don't.

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

It's not natural. Americans don't reject 'being gay'.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

Like most of these, it isn't even worded in an internally consistent way. It should read 'hanging around tall people will encourage people to be tall'. Of course once worded that way, well, it's probably true in most cases now isn't it?

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

There is no coherent point here. Funny or otherwise.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

Straight marriage? Clever. Take away the first word, and add at the end 'and it has always been straight' by definition?

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

Since A makes marriage less meaningfull we may as well just allow and accept B, C, and D. How about we frown on A? Most people do. At least the ones who value the importance of marriage, who just happen to be the same as those who oppose same sex marriage. So you won't win many arguments there.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

Marriage is between man and woman. To produce children you need a man and a woman. So long as that simple requirement is met the rest is a private matter between the man and the woman. As for the end of the second part, denying old people marriage rights won't result in more children so again there's a real lack of logical thought here.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

Parents raise their children with their values, do they not? Do straight parents ever try to raise gay children? Why wouldn't a gay parent raise their child to believe that homosexuality is perfectly natural and acceptable? It would be naive to believe they would not.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

Gay marriage is in fact supported by some religious sects.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

No one would argue that children couldn't succeed without a mother and father at home. But many do argue that children have a better chance at success with both a mother and father at home. Statistical evidence supports this. The over representation in our prisons of men raised by single mothers is just one example.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Not all change is good. Take Crystal Pepsi for example....

 

[KarlMarx]

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

This one isn't even funny... women are property? Since when can property vote? Since when is property given equal protection under law? Blacks can't marry whites? That may have been true in some parts of the country a century ago, but it certainly isn' true now. Divorce is illegal?!?!?!?!? I'll have to inform my ex-wife, her attorney and my attorney of this astonishing turn of events!

This is typical of the gay rights advocacy people, they get all their facts wrong and distort the truth.

 

[The ClayTaurus]

This one isn't even funny... women are property? Since when can property vote? Since when is property given equal protection under law? Blacks can't marry whites? That may have been true in some parts of the country a century ago, but it certainly isn' true now. Divorce is illegal?!?!?!?!? I'll have to inform my ex-wife, her attorney and my attorney of this astonishing turn of events!

This is typical of the gay rights advocacy people, they get all their facts wrong and distort the truth.

To be fair, I think he was trying to make a point, not claim that women were property. It was sarcasm.

 

[dmp]

This one isn't even funny... women are property? Since when can property vote? Since when is property given equal protection under law? Blacks can't marry whites? That may have been true in some parts of the country a century ago, but it certainly isn' true now. Divorce is illegal?!?!?!?!? I'll have to inform my ex-wife, her attorney and my attorney of this astonishing turn of events!

This is typical of the gay rights advocacy people, they get all their facts wrong and distort the truth.

He was showing how marriage HAS changed in the pass, and advocating that change again, to include those who want special rights to marry whom they please.

 

[Powerman]

No I don't.

Sounds like some really pathetic points you had there. Congrats.

 

[Powerman]

This one isn't even funny... women are property? Since when can property vote? Since when is property given equal protection under law? Blacks can't marry whites? That may have been true in some parts of the country a century ago, but it certainly isn' true now. Divorce is illegal?!?!?!?!? I'll have to inform my ex-wife, her attorney and my attorney of this astonishing turn of events!

This is typical of the gay rights advocacy people, they get all their facts wrong and distort the truth.

You completely missed the point. In ancient times you could buy your wife if that's what you wanted to do. Women were very much treated as property long ago. And don't forget women in this country were not afforded the right to vote until after blacks were allowed the same freedom. And long ago divorce WAS illegal. So you just made the points for him in a way. Marriage has completely changed. You need to get your sarcastadar fixed over there buddy.

His entire point was that marriage has changed. You obviously missed it.

 

[KarlMarx]

You completely missed the point. In ancient times you could buy your wife if that's what you wanted to do. Women were very much treated as property long ago. And don't forget women in this country were not afforded the right to vote until after blacks were allowed the same freedom. And long ago divorce WAS illegal. So you just made the points for him in a way. Marriage has completely changed. You need to get your sarcastadar fixed over there buddy.

His entire point was that marriage has changed. You obviously missed it.

Oh.... OK... I guess being the jokster that I am, I'll have to admit that I flubbed this one...

People have changed, marriage may have changed, no use in changing the democratic process to accomodate the gays....

As I said before... there's a process for this sort of thing, it's called amending the Constitution.

 

[Zhukov]

Sounds like some really pathetic points you had there. Congrats.

So much so that you couldn't respond to one of them? What does that say?

 

[Bonnie]

No I don't.

You are so good at that

 

[LuvRPgrl]

Sounds like some really pathetic points you had there. Congrats.

So tell us ol wise one. What exactly IS THE POINT of same sex marriage? (gays can marry, its not "gay marriage")

I mean, really. You knock the institution as it is, the 55 hour marriage, then you fight like hell to let homo's do it.