Gay Marriage

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Powerman, Dec 7, 2005.

  1. Powerman
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    Powerman Active Member

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    I found this on another forum that I post on

    I can't take credit for this but I thought it was pretty funny.

    This is from my buddy [Sophandros] from www.tigerdroppings.com

    I have to give credit where credit is due. Can't be plagiarising.


    Ten Reasons to Oppose Gay marriage:

    01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

    02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

    03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

    04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

    05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

    06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

    07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

    08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

    09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

    10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
     
  2. The ClayTaurus
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    The ClayTaurus Senior Member

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    Was this an opinion piece, or a comedic piece? As an opinion piece, it's quite comedic.
     
  3. Powerman
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    Powerman Active Member

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    I'm guessing it's a bit of both. Obviously the guy is for gay Marriage but it was intended to be funny I believe. He does have some valid points though.
     
  4. The ClayTaurus
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    The ClayTaurus Senior Member

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    A couple. Some of them are quite the stretch. Methinks he should have made a top 5 list.
     
  5. Powerman
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    Powerman Active Member

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    Yeah. People always strive for 10 for some reason. But some of the points are valid to the typical arguments against homosexual marriage.
     
  6. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    moved to Humor forum.
     
  7. Powerman
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    Powerman Active Member

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    Why do I have the funny suspicion that this got moved to the humor forum because some very valid points were brought up and this wanted to be swept under the rug?
     
  8. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    Maybe you're paranoid? Seriously, I honestly doubt anyone can see anything you posted as 'valid points'.


    You're too much, Kidder McKidding. :)
     
  9. Powerman
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    Powerman Active Member

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    LOL well whatever....but that new avatar you have is kinda pissing off...


    And you have to admit the author had some decent arguments with the whole gay marriage thing.
     
  10. KarlMarx
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    KarlMarx Senior Member

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    PM --- if gay marriage is a noble cause, like the abolition of slavery and the women's suffrage let me suggest this. Do the same thing that the abolitionists and the suffragists did. Instead of getting a group of justices to legislate it from the bench, start a group to petition Congress to add an amendment to the Consitution. If 2/3 of the states ratify it within the time prescribed by the Consitution, it's in. Otherwise, I'd wish those of you who favor it would quit trying to ram it down our throats.

    P.S. and please don't bring up the subject of the Civil War. That was started because several states decided to cecede from the Union. The emancipation of slaves was an issue, but not the main reason the Civil War was fought.

    P.P.S. yes, I know, my avatar bugs you, too. I'll take it down after New Year's ... next year, I think I may be "Charlie Brown"
     

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