1. Sag, you're It. 2. Hide and go pee. 3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear. 4. Kick the bucket. 5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over . 6. Musical recliners 7. Simon Says something incoherent. 8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy. SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE 1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. 2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' name on them. 3. You change your underwear after a sneeze. OLD IS WHEN 1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. 2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. 3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today. 4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot. 5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee.