Gambit/Baroness: Christmas with Aliens

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  1. Abishai100
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    Abishai100 VIP Member

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    This is a TrumpUSA eco-consciousness parable for Christmas. Since it's eco-political, I didn't feel altogether comfy posting it in the Writing section of USMB, but what do you think?

    It's my last tale anyway,


    Cheers (signing off),





    gambit2.jpg

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    "How'd you know my favorite color was blue?" -Gambit
    "Well, I saw that blue bow-tie, and I added 1+1." -Baroness

    This is how Gambit and Baroness first met. It was a Christmas party at the White House which saw attendees from all walks of life hosted by President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump. The invitees were meant to represent a cross-section of patriots, political insiders, intelligence-officers, and also military personnel. Gambit was a Navy SEAL and infiltrator-specialist of the paramilitary unit known as 'G.I. Joes.' Baroness was a terrorist-consultant for one of G.I. Joe's subdivisions and the two noticed each other at Trump's Christmas party. There was instant chemistry.

    No one knew Gambit and Baroness' real names, but the two were content knowing/loving each other with their simple field-aliases. They started dating and helping each other with their respective missions for G.I. Joe and generally being companions in times of great sociopolitical anxiety. Gambit liked Baroness's sense of worldly charm, while Baroness was in love with Gambit's special wit and sense of fair-play. Gambit had once been married but divorced when he discovered his wife was unfaithful; Baroness likewise was once married but her husband was killed in the line-of-duty.

    Christmas always brings out the best in us, and Gambit and Baroness felt the charming romantic memory of the White House Christmas party where they first met and began communing with each other over mail, phone, and soon thereafter personal meetings. Now, the G.I. Joe commander Duke ordered Gambit and Baroness to go on a special mission together, investigating a strange alien-intelligence signal coming from one of the caverns of the Grand Canyon. The two G.I. Joes prepared for the mission by polishing their silencer-pistols.

    GAMBIT: So you're called a 'Xenomorph,' eh?
    BARONESS: You claim you're from Venus, right?
    XENOMORPH: You may simply call me "Alien."

    GAMBIT: Why are you stationed at the Grand Canyon?
    BARONESS: Is there something special about Arizona?
    XENOMORPH: Earthlings are intrigued by natural wonders...

    GAMBIT: What's your special mission on Earth?
    BARONESS: Yeah, why are you here?
    XENOMORPH: Are you two married?

    GAMBIT: We married last month...
    BARONESS: Don't we make a lovely couple?
    XENOMORPH: I imagine you're very affectionate/passionate!

    GAMBIT: You've guessed correctly from our chemistry.
    BARONESS: We look good together, don't we?
    XENOMORPH: Enough with the niceties; I needed to make contact with humans.

    GAMBIT: Why?
    BARONESS: Is there something wrong?
    XENOMORPH: You've noticed my reptilian/dragon-like appearance...

    GAMBIT: You look menacing, but your intentions don't seem hostile!
    BARONESS: Yes, I'd say you're a regular 'friendly-dragon.'
    XENOMORPH: I don't want publicity; I'm here to tell you about eco-pollution.

    GAMBIT: Well, and only 4 months away from Christmastime...
    BARONESS: Couldn't you have waited until December?
    XENOMORPH: Do you humans grieve about manmade-induced climate-change?

    GAMBIT: The Environmental Protection Agency is trying to undo corporate sins.
    BARONESS: President Trump is working with energy and environment consultants now.
    XENOMORPH: How do you warm up for Christmas knowing pollution is freezing the Earth?

    GAMBIT: We think about love, trust, optimism, and the intention to redeem ourselves.
    BARONESS: We remember the value of tempering capitalism with hygiene.
    XENOMORPH: Alright; I'm convinced your intentions are sincere; I'll return to Venus.

    GAMBIT: So you simply wanted us to think/know you 'Aliens' were eco-advisors?
    BARONESS: You didn't have any other political agenda (at all)?
    XENOMORPH: Correct; we feared you would 'smear' your 'blue planet'...so Merry Christmas!



    THE END

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