S
Sandy73
Guest
CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't
> > > let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother
> > > appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs
> > > to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a
> > > diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?" "You
> > > must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into
> > > a pumpkin." Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The appointed
> > > hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00
> > > a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.
> > > "Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was
> > > supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"
> > > " I met a prince, Fairy Godmother.
> > > He took care of everything."
> > > The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power!
> > > Tell me his name!"
> > > Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, .
> > > Peter, Peter, something or other..."
> > > ___________________________________________
> > >
> > > PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about
> > > splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to
> > > visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a
> > > little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away
> > > enlightened. A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing
> > > happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio
> > > replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
> > > _____________________________________________
> > >
> > > LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the
> > > Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her
> > > throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!" To that,
> > > Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and
> > > pulled out a ..44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No, you're
> > > not. You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."
> > > ____________________________________________
> > >
> > > MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said
> > > to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy." Mickey replied, "I
> > > didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f-----g Goofy."
> > > ___________________________________________
> > > SNOW WHITE saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up
> > > behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face
> > > crying, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
> > > ___________________________________________
> > >
> > > Did you know...Captain Hook died from jock itch.
> > > ____________________________________________
> > >
> > > One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him
> > > and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged
> > > to have sex. "What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex
> > > was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree."
> > > Horrified, she said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show you
> > > how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground
> > > and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here."
> > > Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty
> > > kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp,
> > > "What the hell did you do that for?"
> > > "Just checking for bees," said Tarzan.
>
>
> > > let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother
> > > appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs
> > > to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a
> > > diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?" "You
> > > must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into
> > > a pumpkin." Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The appointed
> > > hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00
> > > a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied.
> > > "Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was
> > > supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"
> > > " I met a prince, Fairy Godmother.
> > > He took care of everything."
> > > The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of power!
> > > Tell me his name!"
> > > Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, .
> > > Peter, Peter, something or other..."
> > > ___________________________________________
> > >
> > > PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about
> > > splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to
> > > visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a
> > > little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away
> > > enlightened. A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing
> > > happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?" Pinocchio
> > > replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
> > > _____________________________________________
> > >
> > > LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the
> > > Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her
> > > throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!" To that,
> > > Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and
> > > pulled out a ..44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No, you're
> > > not. You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."
> > > ____________________________________________
> > >
> > > MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said
> > > to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy." Mickey replied, "I
> > > didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f-----g Goofy."
> > > ___________________________________________
> > > SNOW WHITE saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up
> > > behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face
> > > crying, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
> > > ___________________________________________
> > >
> > > Did you know...Captain Hook died from jock itch.
> > > ____________________________________________
> > >
> > > One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him
> > > and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged
> > > to have sex. "What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex
> > > was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree."
> > > Horrified, she said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show you
> > > how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground
> > > and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here."
> > > Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty
> > > kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp,
> > > "What the hell did you do that for?"
> > > "Just checking for bees," said Tarzan.
>
>
