Frank Feldman

Discussion in 'Humor' started by fairandbalanced, Jul 30, 2012.

  1. fairandbalanced

    fairandbalanced VIP Member

    Jul 16, 2012
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    A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.

    He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, 'Perfect timing.

    You're just like Frank.'

    Passenger: 'Who?'

    Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman.. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.'

    Passenger: 'There are always a few clouds over everybody.'

    Cabbie: Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.

    Passenger: Sounds like he was something really special.

    Cabbie: 'There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, could do everything right.'

    Passenger: 'Wow, some guy then.

    Cabbie: 'He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.

    Passenger: An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?

    Cabbie: 'Well... I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his fucking wife."

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