Forgiveness I just can't let this one go

[tinydancer]

I have been betrayed by husbands. Only two no big smurf. Thirds a winner. CHECK. I have been whacked at by my mother as my dad was dying .CHECK. I'm good to go in so many ways.

But I just can't let go that a person that I believed to be the best of friends stole from me.

I had a collection that most wouldn't think twice about but I had Hopi and Zuni pieces that were to die for. What makes them so special was as I worked at a place called the Beaverhead and yes it's another Sophia moment old men brought me what I would like to call art in silver. The jewellry was art beyond. Especially the Zuni.

So my friend ripped me off. I still to this day cannot forgive. How do you get past this? How does one?

 

[Dot Com]

did they skip town?

In the end, they are just material possessions unless they are electric guitars then I would rip someone a new one!!!

 

[Moonglow]

What will it gain you to not forgive?

 

[Derideo_Te]

I have been betrayed by husbands. Only two no big smurf. Thirds a winner. CHECK. I have been whacked at by my mother as my dad was dying .CHECK. I'm good to go in so many ways.

But I just can't let go that a person that I believed to be the best of friends stole from me.

I had a collection that most wouldn't think twice about but I had Hopi and Zuni pieces that were to die for. What makes them so special was as I worked at a place called the Beaverhead and yes it's another Sophia moment old men brought me what I would like to call art in silver. The jewellry was art beyond. Especially the Zuni.

So my friend ripped me off. I still to this day cannot forgive. How do you get past this? How does one?

“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

― Nelson Mandela

You get past it because it is doing you more harm than your friend.

There is nothing you can do about it now. Nothing is going to change the past. No one would have eulogized you for having an awesome collection of Hopi and Zuni art.

You will be remembered for the love you gave and shared. You will be remembered for the happiness you brought to the lives of others.

This is your life, not hers. You get to decide what you life is going to be, not her. So if you allow your resentment of her to poison your life you are giving her control over you. She has already taken your silver so why do you want to give her any more of your life?

Time to chalk this up to experience and move on with your life. Decide what you want you life to be from here forward and make that your focus.

Oh, and the requisite disclaimer. That advice was worth everything you just paid for it.

Peace
DT

 

[Tresha91203]

Hugs, Tiny. Forgiveness is for you. Your friend was not who you thought he was or pretended she was. Your friend cares not about your forgiveness or for you. You, on the other hand, are hurt and angry. The hardened and the jaded, those who cannot forgive and let go, are held in the darkness that mindset brings. Your heart is the one darkened without forgiveness, your service diminished, your message tainted.

The items themselves, although fabulous, mean nothing. Before that friend revealed her self, if she had come to you with a real need for those items, would you not be without them today, just as you are now? Yes. You may miss the treasures, but you would not be bitter.

Be blessed that you held such art, but more importantly, be blessed that you share God's love despite every effort from the world to stifle it. That is the real treasure so be sure to protect it. Your friend stole beautiful silver that you cherished. Don't throw away something more precious lamenting its loss. Keep your eye on the ball and do not sway. The path is narrow.

 

[Mojo2]

I have been betrayed by husbands. Only two no big smurf. Thirds a winner. CHECK. I have been whacked at by my mother as my dad was dying .CHECK. I'm good to go in so many ways.

But I just can't let go that a person that I believed to be the best of friends stole from me.

I had a collection that most wouldn't think twice about but I had Hopi and Zuni pieces that were to die for. What makes them so special was as I worked at a place called the Beaverhead and yes it's another Sophia moment old men brought me what I would like to call art in silver. The jewellry was art beyond. Especially the Zuni.

So my friend ripped me off. I still to this day cannot forgive. How do you get past this? How does one?

Marianne Williamson makes sense in times of stress and emotional upset.

I hope this helps.

Marianne Williamson on the How to Handle Betrayal - Video

 

[Pennywise]

In cases like this, we often remain unforgiving but it's not truly directed at the object of our ire (supposedly) rather it is at ourselves. We punish ourselves for either being hoodwinked by a so-called friend, or by remaining friends with someone we had suspicions about already, but ignored our little inner voice.

Be mindful also, that forgiveness is not all it's cracked up to be. I have had more than a few relationships go bad in time, because the person was either not who I thought they were, or I knew they had issues, but remained friendly regardless. I know people who are truly in need of years of therapy at the very least. One guy is I think beyond help, he is a sociopath who's default position in any difficult situation is lying. I've known this, but did business with him anyway and it went bad, duh. On the one hand I despise this person, but I also feel pity for him, because he is incapable of healthy interpersonal relationships (bad marriage too) and it's because of his upbringing. He screwed me on a lot of money, but I chalk it up to not being honest with myself (I knew there were risks) and his pathological issues.

I recommend you read a book called PEOPLE OF THE LIE. It will help you gain more perspective and find some solace, and better still it will help you avoid people who are evil. Evil comes in big and small measures.

 

[Tom Sweetnam]

Remember the scene in Cleopatra when Caesar is back in Rome teaching his son the fundamentals of life? He asks the boy, "What do you do you do when an enemy betrays you?" The boy says, "Forgive him." Caesar smiles and says, "Yes." Then Caesar asks the boy, "What do you do when a friend betrays you?" The boy projects his pointer finger and makes a slashing gesture across his throat. Caesar smiles and says, "Yes."

I think too much has been made of "forgiveness." It comes from the same new age bullshit vocabulary as "closure". Someone close violates your trust, so you forgive them and then everything is patchouli oil and unicorns again? Tell that to the husband or wife who discovers their mate has been unfaithful. Some things are never forgiven, in spite of superficial appearances. Don't forgive your "friend." Just don't let anger possess you. They were never your friend to begin with anyway. Try to put it behind you as best you can. Get on with life.

 

[bigrebnc1775]

Kick their ass

 

[guno]

Revenge is best served cold

 

[Steven_R]

Seduce her husband. Don't tell him why you've decided to let him get freaky on your funbox. Set up a hidden camera. Periodically send her one photo of you and her husband engaging in sexyfuntime for each piece she stole.

 

[JakeStarkey]

Such feelings are poison and they can be terribly addictive.

You, in my opinion, only victimize yourself if you let the addiction control your feelings.

Having said the above, I know just how hard it can be to release such addictions.

 

[RandomVariable]

I have been betrayed by husbands. Only two no big smurf. Thirds a winner. CHECK. I have been whacked at by my mother as my dad was dying .CHECK. I'm good to go in so many ways.

But I just can't let go that a person that I believed to be the best of friends stole from me.

I had a collection that most wouldn't think twice about but I had Hopi and Zuni pieces that were to die for. What makes them so special was as I worked at a place called the Beaverhead and yes it's another Sophia moment old men brought me what I would like to call art in silver. The jewellry was art beyond. Especially the Zuni.

So my friend ripped me off. I still to this day cannot forgive. How do you get past this? How does one?

Perhaps God took it from you so you could find truth. Sometimes what you cherish most does you the most harm. God can give you what the son of man can not take away. Not just after you sleep but in every waking moment.

 

[Avatar4321]

forgiveness for some may take much fasting and prayer.

 

[September]

Most people are not worth Vengeance, as beautiful as it is. Or Hate.

Or Love.

My advice is this:

Every human that you truly Love is an expoitable weakness. The human, as well as the Love you have for them...

Do eveything in your Power to keep that number to a minimum.

Those whom you truly Love have the Powers to hurt you in ways all other humans cannot.

Forgiveness... Forgiveness can free you from Hate, Love, Pain.

Forgiveness doesn't have to mean reverting to the Way things were before someone hurt you.

It can also mean extinguishing the Power someone has over your emotions and actions by choosing to release yourself from whatever emotion they have caused you to experience, whether its Pain, Hate, Love...

Sometimes, forgiveness is more about letting something go than getting something back.​

 

[Delta4Embassy]

I have been betrayed by husbands. Only two no big smurf. Thirds a winner. CHECK. I have been whacked at by my mother as my dad was dying .CHECK. I'm good to go in so many ways.

But I just can't let go that a person that I believed to be the best of friends stole from me.

I had a collection that most wouldn't think twice about but I had Hopi and Zuni pieces that were to die for. What makes them so special was as I worked at a place called the Beaverhead and yes it's another Sophia moment old men brought me what I would like to call art in silver. The jewellry was art beyond. Especially the Zuni.

So my friend ripped me off. I still to this day cannot forgive. How do you get past this? How does one?

Forgiveness isn't for the benefit of the one we forgive, but our own benefit. Holding on to a grudge can make us physically sick keeping our mind and spirit in a yucky place. By forgiving others we free ourselves from hanging on to that negativity.

 

[Iceweasel]

Why forgive her or him? I think people say that to stop focusing on the problem. You can recognize that there are scumbags out there, people who did crap to you but not dwell on it to the point of distraction. Did you call the police at the time and report the theft? Having someone stuffed into the back of a squad car would go a long way to liberating any negative thoughts.

 

[RandomVariable]

I agree that forgiveness is a recipe for repeat. I really that I probably sound a religious radical nut (believe me I do to myself more than to anyone else) There is a God and he does follow you around. He will either put stumbling blocks in front of you or clear them out of your way. When you smile upon him he will smile upon you. You can find him simply but looking around but if you want to understand him read the Old Testament, KJV. Not that the Bible makes any sense but that is not the reason one reads it.

 

[Darkwind]

Revenge is best served cold

Lure them to Alaska.....

Kick their ass

Then kick their ass!

Afterward, join in with the cosmic creaminess...


In all seriousness. Does the person you cannot forgive even know or care that this is eating you up?

Because it sure sounds like this is harming you much more than it is them.

The answer to that should be the guiding reference to your action regarding this.

 

[saveliberty]

Follow your heart tinydancer.